Hope Mangiafico (00:00)
Today's episode is all about inviting you deeper into the heart of a quote fellowship. We're answering the questions you've naturally asked if you are sitting together with us. From how our friendship really began to the unseen moments in our walk with to what it looks like to live this out in everyday life. This episode is honest, it's light and meaningful. And our hope is that it helps you feel connected and encouraged and not alone in your own journey.
Nikki Humphrey (00:28)
Hi, I'm Nikki.
Hope Mangiafico (00:30)
Hi, I'm Hope. Welcome to Equipped Fellowship, where friends become family through Christ. We're two Jesus-loving friends on a mission. This
Personal stories, resources, and real talk about our triumphs, breakthroughs, struggles, and setbacks. Why? Because we believe you are called to live victoriously and we're here to equip you with Holy Spirit led tools and strategies to strengthen your faith, transform your mindset, and walk boldly in God's promises. Because here's the truth, you have been given great and precious promises by God. So grab your coffee, lean in, and let's grow together. It's time to step into everything God has.
for you.
Nikki Humphrey (01:10)
All right, today's gonna feel different, but in the best way, because it's our one year anniversary. Pew, pew, pew.
Hope Mangiafico (01:20)
I like it.
Nikki Humphrey (01:22)
So we decided instead of just focusing on a specific topic, we're going to ask questions and answer them, the ones you've asked or might've been thinking as you listen to our podcast over this past year. These questions come from conversations we've already had here and in our friendship and in our walk with God, the seasons we've gone through and everyday ways we learned to follow Him.
Our heart today is simple. As you hear more of our real lives, you'll feel more freedom to bring your full self to God and to the people he's placed you around. So let's jump into, you asked, we answered, we're here to celebrate, we're here to learn not only more about what you wanted to hear from us, but our friendship as well. So I'm equally as excited to hear.
Hope Mangiafico (02:02)
Hmm.
Nikki Humphrey (02:18)
what hope has to say and bring forth today. And I'm gonna learn a little bit more about my friend today too.
Hope Mangiafico (02:24)
Amen. I was thinking the same thing. I'm pretty excited about this. And the first question is about the ques- I'll say the exact question as it was stated.
You've shared a few times about how God brought your friendship together. What did your very first impression of each other actually sound like in your head? And that was interesting. I'll be curious what your answer is, because when I sat and reflected on this, I don't remember the very first time, but I remember like that feeling of the heart's alignment, the passion and goals really aligning.
whether now that we're 10 years down the road, if that was for better or for worse, I don't know. We'll say overall for better because we're still friends. But the things that we aligned on now, we look back and laugh at. And I think the biggest thing that I still even today think through is I still can't believe you're 18 years older than me. And when we met, I have no doubt in my mind, I'm like, this lady is not the age she claims to be.
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (03:30)
It was so good. All right. I didn't even, my week's been so busy. I didn't even look at these. So I printed them out this morning. So I'm like, I'm so excited to like, let it just fly off the cuff. But first impression, I remember before I met Hope, I had just met this woman, Liana, like a week earlier. And she's like, come to Vegas for this thing. I got a couple of friends staying in the room. You can stay with us.
Hope Mangiafico (03:41)
That's perfect.
You Okay.
Nikki Humphrey (03:59)
didn't know really what Liana looked like, I'm like, am I being catfished? Like what is happening here? So it was already like a big bag of nerves showing up to Vegas thinking I'm going to be kidnapped or something. I get to the hotel and we stayed at the Venetian and I didn't realize there's
like two different entrances, two different check-in desks. I was at the wrong end. I had to be at the other one and I'm texting Liana and my nerves are just like, ooh.
And then finally, Liana finds me and Hope's there. And you don't remember. So
Hope Mangiafico (04:37)
No.
Nikki Humphrey (04:38)
they met me and it was just like, Hope's energy was like what I needed. Cause she was like so welcoming and endearing. And Liana's kind of the same way, but I don't know. I just felt like different with Hope. And I was just like, I just felt from that point on for the entire rest of the weekend, I just felt like.
This is my girl. Like we would have these side-off conversations and every conversation we had, I just found that I was like more in alignment with Hope and her way of thinking and like her energy. Cause Hope and I's energy this weekend was like way up.
Hope Mangiafico (05:09)
Okay.
Nikki Humphrey (05:14)
Out of a hundred, we were at a thousand. Liana's, she has a fun, playful energy too.
Hope Mangiafico (05:17)
That's that alignment for better or for worse, I don't know.
Nikki Humphrey (05:25)
And I love her heart, but her energy kind of stays within a range. yes, which was good. You know, especially when you're sharing a room, you don't want all four ladies like, And the other lady, she was just way down.
Hope Mangiafico (05:30)
And we need that, you know?
Nikki Humphrey (05:42)
between the four of us, we kind of wrote the way. So that was my first impression.
Hope Mangiafico (05:46)
Man, that's great. All right, do you want to ask the second one?
Nikki Humphrey (05:52)
Sure. You both talk a lot about friends becoming family. Can you share a specific moment when you realized, this person is actually my family now? And I think Hope and I immediately had a close bond and it slowly built over time. And I found myself in a period of my life. I think it was like when Marco Polo Perse got on the scene.
And we were just like, we really got a deeper level of friendship through Marco
Hope Mangiafico (06:24)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (06:27)
Polo. And so I was already feeling a deeper connection. Hope, we did the 60 day challenge that was introduced. That got us a lot closer in fueling our relationship, building it, understanding each other's backgrounds better. And then we did a spiritual bootcamp together.
Hope Mangiafico (06:38)
Okay. Okay.
Nikki Humphrey (06:50)
which really like took it to a whole nother level because we did things in that bootcamp that we never even thought of before that we thought might've been like uncomfortable or crazy or like digging
deep again. So that was good. And that we got closer then. And then I had a really traumatic event happen in my life and hope was there like a sister would be, you know, like giving advice, but
Hope Mangiafico (07:03)
you .
Nikki Humphrey (07:19)
holding firm in the faith that like it was gonna work out. And I was mad like a sister, like, don't tell me that, like, just, let me feel my pain. And through that, her being there when that trauma hit, it really cemented for
Hope Mangiafico (07:33)
We got little marriage
Nikki Humphrey (07:33)
me that this is not my friend, this is my sister, and she'll be with me forever, for better or for worse.
Hope Mangiafico (07:42)
vows here. It's great. I love it. That's so good. You know, as you're speaking and sharing our story, it's wild to think the boot camp, the 60 day challenge just for the listener's benefit.
Nikki Humphrey (07:44)
Do it!
Hope Mangiafico (07:56)
All of that happened within the first year, year and a half of knowing each other. We met in, I believe, March of 2016. We were bootcamping it up and doing 60 day challenge somewhere in 2017. Just for reference. So, you know, when we said, man, we're connected, we sprinted. Right on par. That's to be expected.
And you know, I always think back of how we connected through, I guess terminology would business. And the shift was neat to see where we were no longer just talking about strategies for how to run our business and recruit and build this business, but it started shifting to life conversations. Because...
when we first met, we were gung ho and having these strategies. make jokes about how this was my idea, mind you, that we should send videos to people and telling them how awesome this opportunity is. And Nikki listened because we had that bond out of the gate. And you know, that like creates that safety though, right? That initial connection. And then we shifted, like you said, to Marco Polo.
and we started having the life conversations. And as soon as you start moving from business to life, it's like, okay, that's family. That's so powerful.
All right, next question. You've mentioned seasons where you felt unseen or overlooked. Looking back now, what do you see God was doing behind the scenes in those seasons? And the first word that comes to mind for me was pruning. And I've hinted at this in the podcast multiple times, and I think all of us as followers of Christ, this is true to different degrees for all of us.
Your girl had some serious heart issues. Like I wanted to be seen because I thought I was so little, right? Like so invaluable or not of value, not of value. But the father says I'm invaluable. And so it was pruning. Because I wanted to feel seen, it revealed my heart posture. And so therefore he was purifying me. The distortion for me was really hard to see. And it's kind of like
Going back to your response, Nikki, about when you walked through that really challenging time in your life and I was there for you. Like you don't want to hear it because you want to sit in your stuff. So when you're sitting in your stuff, you can't see what the reality is, right? What is good? What is a lie, right? You can't separate it. And so I was personally, when I said I was overlooked and unseen, I had a distorted perspective and the father knew I could not handle.
what it would mean to actually be seen by others that were outside of him. He knew that I had to come to realization that I'm seen by my father and then I could handle the weight of being seen by others, which ultimately means where is my worth, right? As we talk about what's my identity, where is my identity found? And I, at the end of the day, I would have stayed stuck in this wrong type of thinking.
if that desire, how do I say this? I would have stayed stuck in that type of thinking if I ever felt seen before all that pruning happened.
Nikki Humphrey (11:33)
that's good. All I gotta read the question over again because I was so into what you're...
Hope Mangiafico (11:38)
It's all good, it's deep.
Nikki Humphrey (11:40)
I forgot the question. Okay. for me, from my background when I was little, to me being seen equated to being, it was unsafe for me to be seen. So I shrank who I was, I hid, wasn't, I was always quiet.
Hope Mangiafico (11:54)
Hmm
Nikki Humphrey (12:01)
I was always hiding. didn't
Hope Mangiafico (12:02)
Okay.
Nikki Humphrey (12:04)
want to be seen because I didn't want to be attacked verbally, physically, emotionally. And so I carried that theme throughout my life. Like if I'm being seen, something bad is going to happen to me. And so that evolved slowly over time through high school, early college. But then,
Hope Mangiafico (12:25)
.
Nikki Humphrey (12:31)
something inside of me desired to be seen. I had success in my career and I got a little accolades and then I got a little bit of success in doing triathlons and things like that. And then I'm like, ooh, it's kind of fun to be seen. And
somebody saying you're doing a good job or they're proud of you because that wasn't a consistent theme in my life. I was always like a hard worker and everything.
was hard, had success, but nobody really acknowledged it. And so through that scene and then wanting to be seen, even though it still felt unsafe, I went about it in all the wrong ways. And similar to what Hope is saying, was just where God was through all of that. He was right beside me. He was right
Hope Mangiafico (13:13)
Right.
Nikki Humphrey (13:26)
beside me when
Hope Mangiafico (13:26)
you
Nikki Humphrey (13:27)
I was young and I felt being seen was unsafe. He was right beside me in my 20s and 30s when I wanted to be seen and I was going about it in all the wrong dysfunctional ways. Like he was there, he was right beside me, he wasn't judging me. He was just like, I'm here if you need me, just turn right here, I'm here. And then in my 40s when I thought like my reframe, my...
Hope Mangiafico (13:29)
you
Nikki Humphrey (13:52)
my mindset of like what being seen is and what my purpose was. And I stepped away from a career and transitioned and all of that. And I had a trauma that happened in my life and I fully released everything to him. And I've talked about that over and over in the podcast and he was there. And that was the first time in my life I fully recognize
Hope Mangiafico (14:00)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (14:20)
that no matter where I am in my life, high, low, up, down, in between, want to be seen, want to be unseen, hiding, whatever God is right there, He's just waiting for me to release so He can redeem. And that's it. Where was He? He was right there. He was behind the scenes. He didn't really have to do anything because His presence is enough.
Hope Mangiafico (14:40)
Yeah, and when you finally pick up on, he's around me, you immediately feel the safety in being seen. And that is the complete opposite of where your journey started. There is safety in being seen by the father.
where you initially started with safety being in the unseen. So yeah, he's incredible in flipping our scripts and when we reflect back, showing us how interwoven he is in our stories. Like you said, if we give him the permission and release it to him, it's like 20-20 vision.
And it's incredible. I love that.
Nikki Humphrey (15:28)
one, you often encourage us to invite God into the ordinary. What is one very unspiritual daily habit where you regularly notice God meeting you?
I've said it here on the podcast a lot, but in my runs, like if I'm running by my, with my friends, I don't get any downloads. But if I'm running by myself, he just talks. He just talks and I've learned to like tune into his voice. Like I could be listening to a podcast. I could be listening to my best playlist and zing, a thought would come in and I'm like on the side of road. must be like, I'm just like pull up my notes app. I'm like, like it's the most
ordinary thing that I do every day. I'm not even calling on him. I'm not even conversing with the father. And he just like, beeline, beelines right in. It's so cool.
Hope Mangiafico (16:18)
Yeah.
For me, whenever I take anything outside,
whether it's honestly like eating my meals, ⁓ doing my daily like computer work, as soon as I go outside in his creation, like everything I do improves. It's like I instantly transition, I feel his whole character all at once and it's probably not coincidental because I'm in his creation and that, but it's crazy what I've noticed specifically this has been in the last like month or two that I'm a different gal.
when I move my computer and put it outside.
And I hear the birds. I feel the sun. My feet are in the grass. Like, it's incredible. Just, that's it. All right, this next one. You've mentioned holy girl problems a few times, and I'll be honest, I don't really remember that. But the question is...
Nikki Humphrey (17:13)
I love that. Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (17:27)
What's a recent holy girl problem that made you laugh later even if it didn't feel funny in the moment? And I googled what a holy girl problem was and it really is at the end of the day my interpretation of what this means is like comparison shame, putting yourself under pressure, right? Like because you are a follower of Christ, you need to perform a certain way. That was my interpretation, right or wrong?
happy to be corrected, but my little holy girl problem was like believing that I'm a bad steward of my time when in reality it was that I simply wasn't doing what works for me with the life God has given me. And so that goes back to comparison, whether it's comparing to someone else that looks like they're a stronger believer, stronger Christian.
or their life seems to be put together. Nikki has been seeing my shortcomings big time recently, just holistically. Like, I don't know what's going on, but I can't, I haven't, it's not a time problem. It has been a hope doesn't know what works for her because she's been comparing to other people. That's a holy girl ⁓ problem. And so I have just recently had a ding ding ding hope, accept the reality. And I told Nikki that it was right before. I gotta create a checklist for everything right now.
It's the reality, it's where I'm at. Doesn't mean I failed. Am I a terrible follower of Jesus? Am I a bad friend? No, I just need the structure. I told Nikki before this episode, I went to a doctor appointment today, that was tomorrow, and I've been looking at the calendar for weeks. But I can't even look at a calendar right now. And if I'm not careful, I believe that's a reflection.
of my relationship with the father and that's straight baloney.
And if I would have just, you know, accepted that a little sooner and sat down and said, okay, guys, this is my brain right now, help a sister out. I could have spared myself a whole lot of pain. And I could lie.
started making checklists yesterday. I'm not even exaggerating. I felt so much better. I forgot doctor's appointments, but I remember the day-to-day activities to put on a checklist.
And I'm laughing, so that's a good sign that I can laugh now.
Nikki Humphrey (19:54)
Sorry. So as soon as she said Holy Girl problem, it's like, yeah, I don't really know what it is. But the first thing that popped in my head and the definition is going to vary from hopes. She, she Googled it. I just went on like interpretation. like me, like a Holy Girl problem would be like, sometimes I'm just too holy and I don't know how the outside world perceives that. So again, out on the run. And I was thinking, I'm like, some people say hallelujah.
And some people say, hallelujah without the H. And I'm like,
Hope Mangiafico (20:27)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Nikki Humphrey (20:30)
what's the difference? And I'm like, I wrong? Hallelujah, Alleluia hallelujah.
Hope Mangiafico (20:34)
You
Nikki Humphrey (20:39)
Jesus,
Hope Mangiafico (20:40)
Pubble.
You
Nikki Humphrey (20:45)
People
are just looking at me like, what is this girl? Do it. And I still don't know the difference between Alleluia, hallelujah, but I made a little song and I got judged for it. But, it's so good.
Hope Mangiafico (20:58)
I love that.
So basically Holy Grail problem in your definition is being in a Jesus bubble and like having no interpretation of what the word.
Nikki Humphrey (21:06)
Having no like
how the outside world would perceive you and those people were looking at me like what?
is going on over here.
Hope Mangiafico (21:17)
I love that.
I have Google, so this was years ago, but I had Google the difference between the two because I was in that same boat and I have settled on saying Alleluia but most songs say hallelujah. It's like the old hymns have Alleluia in it. that said, I still can't tell you actually what the difference is, even though I Googled it years ago. That's where I personally have landed.
Nikki Humphrey (21:30)
Yeah. Yeah.
So if you are listening and you know the difference,
let us know.
Okay. Number six, there are so many inside jokes between you on the podcast. Can you explain one of your favorite inside jokes so we can be in on it too? So I think a recent one was like up North and we were like, we landed on like, won't he do it? Like, we were, we were just sitting on the dock trying to figure out technology and we were bumbling our way through it.
Hope Mangiafico (22:01)
That's true we say.
Nikki Humphrey (22:16)
We didn't know. And then like, we finally got it. Whatever we were trying to work on at that moment, it happened. And we're like, won't he do it? Won't he do it? it's, it's just like, when a lot of our inside jokes is like, when we're trying to do something in our own strength, and we're struggling, and then it happens to come through, like we are just like, putting some good old praise words to it. It's like,
affirm what it is.
Hope Mangiafico (22:49)
It's so funny. my gosh, you're telling that story from the perspective of us trying to like go live, but then it all repeated when we tried to end it too.
But yeah, we figured it out. It's great. Now, as you said that, what just came to mind, because I answered this question a little differently, and so I'm glad you planted the seed of one that came to your mind. It got my wheels now going. Is we haven't done this actually in the past, probably five or so episodes, but we used to say that'll do it. We haven't been doing that, I don't think. That or I've, right? We haven't been doing that.
Nikki Humphrey (23:22)
Yes.
We haven't
been doing it. I keep thinking about that and I keep meaning to talk to you about that, but it's just like, kind of just went away.
Hope Mangiafico (23:34)
I gotta make
a checklist for our outro.
So much is like, I am, I'm taking a side note for a moment. I have so much gratitude for what the Lord has done in both mine and Nikki's hearts and our lives through the podcast and developing us in so many ways. And as we've developed and grown, we've had these shifts and, ⁓ add this, take away that, navigate left, right, sideways, upside down. ⁓
And so like, it's funny because we find things we like, but in that interim as we're building, it's like, oh crap, left this part, left this part back here. That's probably why I've really been digging a checklist because I have enjoyed this journey so much. Like I really But there's just these little tidbits that if I'm not careful, I'll quickly be like, dang it, we forgot to say that'll do it. And that's way we end.
There is no loyalty to it. It is something that just happened one time and I think I remember specifically on Marco Polo, Nicky's like, I kind of liked that. It was cute. And we ran with it. That was fun. The other thing, I don't know if we have, I don't know, these aren't inside jokes. So when I read this though, initially, I was thinking like, man, I don't know if we talk about inside jokes, like on the, much on the podcast.
But what I was saying is like we often have one-liners that we don't explain. Like, we might explain them the first time we say it, but as we do more episodes we just throw it out there. Like, the holy exchange, the study of one, the one percent, loving correction. And Peter, yeah, like we... that's technically like an inside joke, really. But we don't explain it.
Nikki Humphrey (25:16)
Peter. Peter.
It is!
you got to listen to them all because you're going to be left behind.
Hope Mangiafico (25:31)
Exactly like they all, once you understand them or hear them to Nikki's point, go back and listen. I mean, we can give little quick snippets now if we have the time, but you'll start picking up that our short little snippets actually tell you a lot about God's character, about our relationship with him, instead of having to say it in a paragraph. So it's really powerful. So the ones that came to mind were Holy Exchange, Study of One.
the 1 % and loving correction.
Nikki Humphrey (26:05)
people might pick up on that in the overflows like this. We're ragging our fingers up in the air giving like thumbs up is because they just end so abruptly. So we need to give each other a clue like I'm done talking. Are you done talking? Wait, wave your fingers a little bit so we can be done.
Hope Mangiafico (26:09)
See you later.
That one came to my mind as well. And we have continued to do that because they continue to be pretty abrupt. But it's that freedom. The whole reason we even started the overflows and we kind of hinted at this in the beginning, I think with overflows is like we often would hit end and we'd still be getting downloads and we'd be fired up afterwards. And so we started just continuing to hit record.
And we'll go, go, go, go. And one time Nikki said, I can't remember what episode this was. You're like, we literally get unplugged.
And it's a really good analogy because that's how it feels. And so that's the my light bulbs not going off anymore. I'm unplugged. All right. Next one. You talk a lot about community, but have you ever had a moment where you wanted to pull away from people? What helped you come back to community instead of isolating? ⁓
Nikki Humphrey (26:58)
Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (27:23)
You guys have heard us talk about isolating more than we've talked about our ability to stay in community because I think we both tend to isolate when we're hurting or struggling. Yeah, that's how that's both of our approach. and I landed on
after asking the father, that the way I get back into community is realizing I am not the problem. And oftentimes people are not the problem. I isolate because one of those two are in my core belief systems. the reality is my beliefs about myself or the other person or my abilities of what I can handle.
were actually the issue. And when I actually, this was actually like a new revelation from the Lord, I was like, that's very well worded. So I can actually keep revisiting that because I have no doubt I'll be tempted by isolation again. And so I'll remember, I am not the problem, the person's not the problem. My beliefs about what's going on is and what I can handle. So Lord, teach me and show me so I can get.
back into the community.
Nikki Humphrey (28:41)
That's good. For me, when we started this podcast a year ago, ⁓ was coming out of like a three year heavy isolation period. Like I was locked down. I was in my Jesus bubble. I was very happy. Just Jesus and I in the Jesus chair, just like hanging tough. And for me, in order to
get back into community, I had to force myself. Cause it can be so comfortable in the Jesus level. So, and you get so much, you get downloads, like, but God was pushing me. He's like, okay, our time is over. You need to, you're ready again, go out there. And I had to be intentional, like call people, meet up, do things little by little. wasn't anything crazy at once. It was just like started like,
Hope Mangiafico (29:16)
It's true.
you
Nikki Humphrey (29:39)
meeting my old friends once a week for a run. And then that kind of grew. And then like doing things at church, like starting to lead a small group with some friends. I did that. And it was just like little chunks of time to like build my confidence in community. I've been so hurt by community. I felt I was so hurt. Like Hope said, wasn't a me problem, it was the people problem. It was like my heart and how that got turned away from wanting to be vulnerable.
Hope Mangiafico (29:54)
Hmm.
Nikki Humphrey (30:08)
Again, and so just little by little, I had to force myself. had to put on my calendar. I had to be intentional in order to immerse myself back into a community where I felt comfortable again.
Hope Mangiafico (30:21)
Yeah, it's interesting you're saying how easy it is to be in your Jesus current corner isolation and it really boils down to almost like your beginning response to one of the first questions about the being seen versus unseen is it's safe there. So we believe. And
to compliment what you're saying because it's just your response was so good and it got me thinking. Something the Lord has shown me is I tend to be very deep, love to journal, ask the Lord questions. But sometimes he's like, kind of like you running. Just move, get going, and you're not gonna miss me.
because that can be a distorted view in the isolation when you're there so long. get, just like you said, you get so many downloads and you go and it's like, but if we believe he's in everything and doing all the things, then he'll show up in the other areas, even when it's scary, he's gonna show up as a good, good father.
Nikki Humphrey (31:17)
That's right.
Hope Mangiafico (31:19)
It's incredible.
Nikki Humphrey (31:22)
Okay, here we
When you record an episode that feels vulnerable, what do you do after you hit stop? Do you ever get a vulnerability hangover and how do you do it? Well, I don't get those anymore. Cause I'm like, if it needs to come out and it needs to come up and it needs to come out. And I say it on the podcast, it's probably gonna help somebody. Even if it's me, even if it's hope, even if it's just, know, for whoever, like I don't care anymore. Like I don't.
Hope Mangiafico (31:49)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (31:54)
I'm 52. I mean, I something about in your 50s, like you don't only person I care about opinion about me is God is Jesus is Holy Spirit. Like, am I doing enough? Am I following the way? What do I need to do to get closer to you? What in my life? What in my heart needs to change? So I talk about a lot of things openly now that before no way.
Hope Mangiafico (32:06)
You You
Nikki Humphrey (32:23)
what I've ever opened up about it. That box would have had 10, 20, 30 million locks on it. It would have been pushed down and buried in cement, underwater. No way, because I was
so concerned about how people would perceive me. And now I'm just like, this is my life. This is what I've gone through. This is what I experienced in the past. This is what I'm experiencing now. I don't have any shame, guilt or condemnation. I've said that a million times on here, associated with it. So.
Hope Mangiafico (32:50)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (32:53)
former hangover person, but now, no. I'm
okay. I'm okay with it all.
Hope Mangiafico (32:58)
That's so great. I was gonna say I don't get that but what So I don't get those either ⁓ But what I do really enjoy when we get off as of late is I enjoy immediately going into like the editing mode and the re-listening and hearing Holy Spirit move because it stirs up that excitement because like Nikki's saying when we're sharing and This has come with time
like she said, used to have vulnerability hangovers no more. Now it's like, man, we can feel when he's moving, when he's using us. And so it's that alignment brings the healing and the release, if you will. And so I love going straight back into it and be like, whoa, that was good. If I did have a question about, I misspeak, over-speak, over-share? He dismantles that when I go and listen to it. And I think it's amazing.
Next question. You've mentioned that God has rewritten your view of yourself. What's one label you used to live under that you no longer agree with and what shifted that? And I had two, one being very surface level, though it has deep implications, and that is the actual label of being a diabetic. I got rid of that many years ago because ⁓ we ain't
what our diagnoses are. We are not these things. And so that was a huge shift in understanding the power of our words, life and death and the power of the tongue. are you? The word that's coming to mind is like allowing to lord over your life. Diabetes can absolutely become a lord over my life if I'm not careful. And I do not want to submit under that. So I will say I live with diabetes, but I will not wear the label of diabetic. And then on a D,
level is going from the label of being an orphan to a daughter. If you've listened to the past, I don't know, majority of this year's episodes, there's been a constant theme of daughter-ship, child-ship. And one thing that shifted in me from going from that orphan label to being a daughter is God has been providing me these like guiding questions.
in moments where I feel really small and alone because I do still have those moments because kind of like Nikki was saying due to her background upbringing whatever, I often feel like I gotta do all these things by myself which is very much an orphan mentality. And so the Lord will have me just ask the question or hear the question I guess is the right way to say that is like, am I with you?
Well, the answer is yes every time, so what does that make me? That makes me a daughter and I'm not alone. And that little question has more recently transformed my walk from orphan to daughter.
Nikki Humphrey (36:04)
I'm just gonna hug you.
Hope Mangiafico (36:08)
Hahaha!
Nikki Humphrey (36:09)
Okay, so the one label that popped in my head that I no longer agree with is that I'm a mistake for years and years and years and years and years. I was a mistake. I thought I was a mistake. I thought I wasn't supposed to be here. I thought somehow like when God was handing out all the good stuff, I didn't get it. ⁓ That I would never be not a mistake. That doesn't even make sense, but it makes complete sense in my head.
Hope Mangiafico (36:17)
Mm.
Hehehehe
Nikki Humphrey (36:38)
So I'm misspeaking on purpose because that's the way little Nikki interpreted. And I just. I struggled with that. I'm struggling with my words right now because it was such a wound, a wounding in my life, thinking that everybody got the good stuff. I would never get the good stuff. And I even had a free speak over that I was like irredeemable, like I was going to burn in hell and all of that and just cemented.
that somebody in authority could speak that over with me. And it's really that I haven't gained freedom with that. Like Hope's talking about her shift from orphan to daughter this year. Like maybe in the past year and a half that I've shifted really from fully believing that I was a mistake, that I was fearfully and wonderfully made. I was made on purpose, for a purpose that no one has.
Hope Mangiafico (37:09)
Okay.
Nikki Humphrey (37:35)
my exact fingerprint, my DNA, my way of putting together. And no wonder I didn't fit in because I wanted to be somebody else. I wanted to step into somebody's role who I deemed not a mistake. And I'm just like, that's the mistake. The mistake is me wanting to be somebody else when I'm not accepting who God created me to be. So I've really been taking this past year and a half to embrace all those quirky little things, all those...
Hope Mangiafico (37:47)
Okay.
Nikki Humphrey (38:04)
things that I wanted to hide before and embrace it and really step into who God made me be. And not too long ago, I talked about an episode of like where my joy got cut off. And I'm like, I'm slowly moving back to like, who was this little Nikki before the joy got cut off in her life. And it's just, it's so amazing. Like this is a funny example. We are at the store the other day.
Hope Mangiafico (38:15)
Okay. you
Nikki Humphrey (38:33)
And
I'm just trying to buy like more organic clothing and things, some health challenges I'm dealing with, just I gotta clean up the wardrobe. Don't go into that realm. Don't open that door unless you really wanna be exposed to what's in our clothes. But anyway, that's a side note. So I see these pants and they're a bright color people. They're like a bright greeny blue with stars all over them and bell bottoms.
And I'm
Hope Mangiafico (39:02)
Ha ha.
Nikki Humphrey (39:03)
like hot and diggity, let me check this tag. And I was like, they're like linen and hemp. was like, check, And Luke and Josephine were like, no.
Hope Mangiafico (39:18)
Okay.
Nikki Humphrey (39:22)
And I'm like, mama's gonna try them on and if they fit, they're coming home with me. And it was just like, I would have never bought pants like this in the past.
But it was like fully like stepping into my childhood and my daughter ship and fully embracing who I was. Like, I'm just like, I don't care what you think. I don't care what other people think when I'm wearing these pants. Mama's gonna wear these pants and I'm gonna strut my stuff.
Because that's, God made me to stand out, not to hide, if we're bringing it full circle to an earlier question.
Hope Mangiafico (39:59)
Yeah, seriously, and I seen that in you in the last year, so just that.
that stepping into that fully, which I think is amazing. And you know what's so beautiful when you take an opportunity like that with those pants and you're like, they fit, they're me, I'm getting them. Cause I have started like, I used to be embarrassed by the things that I really liked cause it seemed like no one else liked it. And when I finally have started being like, I'm getting this because I love it. There's this like freedom you feel inside that like you cannot explain. It's beautiful.
Nikki Humphrey (40:32)
Nothing.
Hope Mangiafico (40:33)
It doesn't even have to be crazy. It can be the smallest thing that you're saying yes to that aligns with you. And it's just like...
It's wild.
Nikki Humphrey (40:44)
Peace out.
Hope Mangiafico (40:45)
So I love that and I've loved watching you walk that out too. That's amazing. Wait, so did you get the pants?
Nikki Humphrey (40:52)
got the pants and they were on like final clearance at the store. It was like 10 bucks. Best $10 ever spent.
Hope Mangiafico (41:00)
my gosh, heck yeah. Wow, that's amazing deal for those types of pants. That's incredible. That's awesome.
Nikki Humphrey (41:08)
⁓
What's something you've learned from the listeners messages or DMs that has actually changed how you show up on the podcast? All right, can I shout out your mom here for a second?
Hope Mangiafico (41:23)
She'll love it, because she's going to hear the episode.
Nikki Humphrey (41:27)
I love, love, love that hopes mom is the first one. And I'm telling you the first one to listen to our podcast on YouTube every week. Like she listens to it before I even listened to it on some days and I get up early people and it drops at 6 a.m. So I don't know what time she is listening, but it's there. And every
Hope Mangiafico (41:51)
Hehehehehe!
Nikki Humphrey (41:57)
week, people every week, she leaves a comment. And it's the most tender, heartfelt comment. It's thoughtful. It makes me tear up every week. It makes me smile. I am just like week after week. And she better not stop doing it because I look forward to it. It's like, we love getting to know all of you and whatever you comment like we
Hope Mangiafico (42:20)
You
Nikki Humphrey (42:26)
I that, but this one is like extra special because it changes how I show up because I'm like, people are listening. People take this seriously. They take it to heart. They think about it. So when we show up on the podcast, I want to make sure that we're staying in alignment to God and his message for this podcast, even if it's just for for Hope's mom every week. You know what I mean?
because that's what's special. It's not what the world is doing. It's not what the world's algorithm and all that. It's what God placed on our heart to do this podcast and the impact that it has, especially in Hope's mouth. We love her.
Hope Mangiafico (43:07)
It's
had such a large impact on her and what Nikki's saying is she doesn't say, job girls. She's like puts her notes in there of like what she took away, which means she listens with intent.
And to your point, Nikki, like that's enough. And my mom, I mean, she was just here with me this weekend. She'll make references to our episodes or she'll see like some random thing on Facebook. She's like, you mentioned this in the podcast or we'll be at church. ⁓ y'all talked about that story a couple of weeks ago.
never seen, of course I've known my mom my whole life, I've never seen stuff stick with her the way the podcast has. And of course she loves me, of course I'm her daughter, but like I really believe it's that obedience of us recording and Holy Spirit moving and then us getting that feedback of like, man, she's being impacted is something that I don't really have words for.
Because she knows and I know she's gonna listen to this. We've had our moments We ⁓ you know, we're we haven't always been best friends and it's beautiful to see what God's doing in my life in her life. So Thank you for sharing that that was emotional Because I can often to Nikki being on the outside as my my sister from another mother and not a daughter of my mom
Nikki Humphrey (44:19)
Yes, welcome.
Hope Mangiafico (44:32)
She sees it in a different light, whereas I can just be like, it's just my mom making another comment, you know? ⁓ And so it's always refreshing, I don't know, this is a word for everyone, to allow outside people to speak into areas of your life that you oversimplify or overlook or you get used to. Because you don't want to lose, lack of better term, the magic of what God's doing just because it's.
what you've always seen or what you're used to. He shows up in those. That's so good. My answer is pretty short. I have been told many, many times, and I know Nikki probably has too and I've seen it in just our social medias, many people say we're such a good team and we have this amazing flow together. And for me, this affects how I show up. And though I'm imperfect at catching this,
I try to allow Holy Spirit to move, which I think we both do a pretty darn good job at that, but I also attempt to not overthink or to compare because that will hinder that exact trait of our podcast. Nikki's very much a teacher. I am not. I'm like all over the place and I can find myself catching myself.
into comparison mode where it's like no hope like y'all gel y'all we we match we gel and it's what people notice goes back to Nikki's answer to the previous question embracing who you are and running with it there's no comparison and so my people sharing that it helps me have my little antennas up of like not playing the comparison game you know and overthinking because holy spirit's moving
We don't want to hinder that. I don't want to hinder that. ⁓
Nikki Humphrey (46:23)
No, I don't want to hear that.
No way.
Hope Mangiafico (46:26)
Okay, number 11, if a listener came to hang out with you for a whole day based on what you've shared on the podcast, what parts of you would not surprise them at all? And mine sounds very much like a Jesus bubble response, but like I talk to God a lot. I am deeply reflective and I see him in so much and I am by myself a lot during the day. I you know, I might go out and like hang out with a friend or something here or there for the most part.
I'm not talking to the father out loud, you know, and thanking him for whatever I see. And you would see that I'm actively still trying to prioritize and make time for joy. So, you know, whether that's worship dance break, going outside and just doing something, I'm actively trying to do that all the time. And you would see that intentionality, because I have to be really intentional with it. And you'd be like, okay, that's...
She talks about her, because I know one time I drilled Nikki on how to find joy. So like I've been very true that I can quickly push that aside and not prioritize it.
Nikki Humphrey (47:37)
All right, if they came to hang out with me for a whole day, they'd realize that, like, I am real excitable. am, like Hope said, like she's like working into like the movement or whatever. Like, I am like a kid a lot when I express my joy for God. Like I'm playing the worship every day and I'm moving or I'm singing.
Hope Mangiafico (47:48)
Hmm.
you
Nikki Humphrey (48:04)
Or I'm just like, Hope said, like talking to God out loud, but like making up some weird words with him to make sense of things like the hallelujah, hallelujah. and I, yes, I'm very regimented, like in my routine, like wake up, Jesus time, coffee, run, breakfast. Like all of that's like very same every day, but like I have to take these
joy burst break and they're not intentional, like I have to move my body to like reawaken it, get recharged, just like get back in alignment with the father because I know like if I sit too long, like that's when my brain goes like in all of these curly cues that it is not supposed to go. And if you hung out with me, you'd probably be like my daughter.
sometimes be like, can you turn that off now? Like the joy, like the music, like all that. They're like, other moms don't do that. But I'm like, other moms don't have the joy of Jesus in their life. So it can be a lot. You might regret it.
Hope Mangiafico (49:20)
No, but I love that. I think it's so important and that child.
That childlikeness, I mean, we just had an episode on that recently. It's invaluable. I think that's the end of our questions. I think that'll do it. Man, that will do it. Friend, thank you for being here with us today. We truly don't take it lightly that you spend your time listening, leaning in, and being a part of this space.
Nikki Humphrey (49:29)
Yeah.
That'll do it.
Hope Mangiafico (49:52)
You're not just listening from the outside. You're a part of what God is building here. Thanks, mom. And our prayer is that as you hear more of our real lives, you feel invited to walk closely with Him in your own way, that you feel seen, that you feel encouraged, and that you feel equipped to live out your faith in your everyday life. If you enjoyed this episode, we'd love for you to share it with someone or let us know. You can reach out, send a message, or share it with us.
And if you have questions that you'd love for us to talk through in the future, we'd love to hear them. We love you, we're praying for you, and we'll see you next time on Equipped Fellowship and in the overflow.
