Nikki Humphrey (00:00)
just want to like dance around a little circle and be childlike.
Hope Mangiafico (00:03)
It's so fun. mean, here's something I'll ask you. On your journey, since you said yes to the Lord and really let Him in your healing process, have you noticed a shift in your childlikeness? Are there moments where you do actually catch yourself dancing more or anything that's more playful?
Nikki Humphrey (00:27)
Yes, all the time. Where before, I would have never done things like that. Especially in public, I always tried to say, like, in the episode, I was like an actor portrayal of the Nikki I thought that I was supposed to be out in public around other people. And I just always tried to be put together and try to think of the right thing to say. And I was never playful or curious or just like showing joy or super emotive.
and now it's completely different. sometimes, Josephine's like, you're so embarrassing. I'm like, but I'm not embarrassing to God.
Hope Mangiafico (01:08)
You know, it's wild as you talk about in public, but I'm thinking about how long before you even get to that point
It's hard to even let yourself do it when you're alone in your home, like in the kitchen, no one's home and you're like, can I dance in the kitchen? Can I put a song on and move? So you're real advanced doing it in public, I love it.
Nikki Humphrey (01:19)
Yes, feels weird.
It was running today and oceans came on and I just love that song. And here I am running at eight in the morning, just singing my heart out, running down the street. I don't even care. But I was just so happy. Just like the kids just run and they're yelling and screaming. singing oceans this morning.
Hope Mangiafico (01:49)
Yeah
You know, you're talking about kids running and screaming. The weather's been a little, well it's not nice right now, but it's been nicer. And so kids have been outside and my husband's like, why do little girls scream so much when they're playing? And in context of this episode, it's like, well I know the screaming to us as adults is a little alarming, but they feel free to do it. They're just expressing.
It's just another form of expression for them.
Nikki Humphrey (02:23)
During the episode, this kept coming back again and again again. For those of you who don't know, I taught kindergarten for 20 years. And it was always my goal that every little person that was ever in my class that they feel seen, heard, and valued. Like that was one of my core principles that I led with every single day. And I always remember myself when I was little, my voice being suppressed.
Hope Mangiafico (02:31)
and
Nikki Humphrey (02:49)
or not paying attention to, or I feel like people are just ignoring me. And I never wanted one of my little people to feel that way. So to try to cultivate that ownership over their voice, whenever we're at circle time and they're answering a question, I ask them to stand up.
Hope Mangiafico (02:50)
Yes. ⁓
Nikki Humphrey (03:11)
So two things, they stand up, feel confident about what they're saying and two, they get the audience, their classmates
looking at them. And it reminded me of the story of when Jesus called the little kid up to stand up, but it was just like, it builds something in you when you learn to cultivate that in little children.
Hope Mangiafico (03:31)
Hmm
Yeah
Nikki Humphrey (03:40)
So it's just a reminder
to all of us that sometimes we need to help the little children.
Hope Mangiafico (03:46)
you
Nikki Humphrey (03:46)
emote their voice out and let them know that that's okay and not to suppress it and not to ignore it and not to just slough it off, but to connect with them on a heart level.
Hope Mangiafico (03:58)
That's great. They overcome so much through that little, seemingly little gesture. And you know, it's just always a great idea to help the little children with anything because if we don't do it,
then they're gonna be carrying and working through the things that we're not working through as adults. So every act, doesn't have to even be a parent, it can be a teacher. It all adds up. Of course, the home is the most influential, but it all adds up and helps prevent in that child the things that we're working through as adults.
or hopefully makes it easier, right, to work through it with whatever. Because again, ⁓ I said in that episode, I've said it before, we've said it before, like, it's life. Things happen to you. Everyone, trauma is a vast word because everyone has different thresholds for it. ⁓
And it's like just one ounce of safety too, which is what we've said in the episode. Like Jesus is the one that heard us. He's safe. The Father's safe. Like if we can just put a little drop of safety in a child.
It'll ripple.
Nikki Humphrey (05:09)
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (05:10)
Wow, that's awesome.
can ask you one more question. feel like, one of the things that we didn't get to do a lot of is sharing more of like personal examples. You know, we gave little tidbits here and there, but they weren't very elaborate. We often are storytellers, but we were using scripture to tell stories instead of our own. For you.
as you've gained safety with the father, what are, one of the like practical steps at the end that I provided as an example was like asking for small things, no matter how small they are, right? Do you have any thoughts on your journey of when or how you asked for like small things and like became comfortable asking for the little things and understanding that it all matters to him?
Nikki Humphrey (05:59)
I think for me.
It was.
To become comfortable with that, had to...
just be as open and as vulnerable as I could to see how he would respond to me.
Hope Mangiafico (06:15)
Hmm.
Nikki Humphrey (06:15)
And it's kind of like a God test. We're not supposed to test God. But through my history, whenever I have been extremely open and honest and just put it all out there, that usually caused people in my life to go away or to step back.
Hope Mangiafico (06:20)
you
Nikki Humphrey (06:36)
So the first time I actually did that and I was raw and I was vulnerable, and I don't think I was just, all I was asking for, that little thing that I was asking for is just that somebody was listening to me and they heard me and they acknowledged my presence. Kind of like what I wanted to be example for my little people in the kindergarten class. And so the first time I did that, I was just, woo, it was a hot mess express.
Hope Mangiafico (06:54)
Hmm.
Nikki Humphrey (07:06)
I don't even know what was coming out, but it was coming out and God met me there and met all three of those criteria.
And again, I'm not saying to test God, but my history showed that people would run, but God drew near.
Hope Mangiafico (07:26)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. That's real guide testing. ⁓
but I see why you would label it that way. But it's like he knows our hearts and what we've been through, you know?
Nikki Humphrey (07:41)
It's almost like those things you ever see those testimonies like if God is real, he's going to send somebody before I do. It's not really a test. You're just like, and then lo and behold, somebody comes up and says, like, can I pray for you or something like
Hope Mangiafico (07:47)
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I feel like in scripture testing God is like doing something absurd. I mean like you better show up, know, super-sense.
He loves, he loves an invitation to a broken heart like that, you know? Cause he's like, yeah, this is a cakewalk for me. Absolutely. I'm going to show up in those areas. Let's go sister. I love that. I wanted, I wanted to hear a practical one because I find myself specifically telling someone in my life that they slip up a lot and be like,
There's other people that have it worse than me and I'm not gonna bother God. And it's just like this ongoing cycle. And I just so badly want them to just let it out, give it to the father, stop stuffing it down. And it's, I guess it goes back really to everything we talked about is like they still haven't learned how to step into a child posture and things in life. So sometimes it might be hard.
But doing another step instead of going in and asking for something small, it's doing a playful moment with God where the guard starts coming down because you might as do a little shoulder shrug, you know? At there's some movement so the emotions can move in the motion and come out. Because that break, that's like one of those things that breaks my heart so much. Because people don't think.
what they need or what they desire and their heart matters to the father.
Nikki Humphrey (09:34)
It sure does. And like we said in the episode, he can't heal what you don't bring to him.
Hope Mangiafico (09:40)
Right, can't be pretending.
Nikki Humphrey (09:42)
No. So he's just waiting to help you out. But he can't force it. You have to come to him.
So it's almost like you're wasting God's time the longer you keep it from him.
Hope Mangiafico (09:58)
You're keeping them in a waiting room, right?
Nikki Humphrey (10:01)
So if you like flip the script with whoever is saying that, be like, well, God just waiting for you to bring it to him. He can handle all the stuff from all the people.
Hope Mangiafico (10:07)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, stop wasting the Lord's time.
He's doing a whole lot of other things, but he still hasn't a lot of time just for you and it's just going, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Come on Hope, come on Nikki, come on listener. that's so good. That's so good. I'm looking forward to doing further evaluation of my heart with all of it ⁓ because we both know it's so easy to kind of.
fall back into a place of maybe like habit or routine or whatever, depending on where you are in a season. So it was a good one for me.
