Nikki Humphrey (00:00)
Friends, surrender doesn't make you passive. It makes you peaceful. It doesn't take your power. It aligns it. The more we release, the lighter we walk. The less we grip, the freer we become. Matthew 11, 28 through 30 reminds us, come to me all who are weary for my yoke is easy and my burden is light. God never asked you to carry what he offered.
Hope Mangiafico (00:14)
you you
Nikki Humphrey (00:25)
already offered to carry for you. As we move forward into this new season, this new year, may we walk lighter, breathe deeper, and trust more fully. Surrender isn't the end, it's the beginning of true freedom.
Hope Mangiafico (00:40)
Don't forget, it's time to rise into your radiant self. A Quick for Wholeness launches January 26th, 2026. Sign up today and start your transformation.
Nikki Humphrey (00:51)
Hi, I'm Nikki.
Hope Mangiafico (00:52)
Hi, I'm Hope. Welcome to Equipped Fellowship, where friends become family through Christ. We're two Jesus-loving friends on a mission to share personal stories, resources, and real talk about our triumphs, breakthroughs, struggles, and setbacks. Why? Because we believe you are called to live victoriously, and we're here to equip you with Holy Spirit-led tools and strategies to strengthen your faith, transform your mindset, and walk boldly in God's promises and learn how to surrender. Because here's the truth.
You have been given great and precious promises by God. So grab your coffee, lean in and let's grow together. It's time to step into everything God has for you.
Nikki Humphrey (01:32)
Yes, and so this week we are talking about the freedom of surrender because last week we talked about what we're choosing to leave behind as we step into 2026. And today we want to build upon that conversation by talking about how we actually do that. Because leaving things behind doesn't happen by accident. It happens only through surrender. And surrender isn't giving up.
Hope Mangiafico (01:58)
Okay.
Nikki Humphrey (02:02)
It's giving over. It's not weakness. It's not wisdom. It's not lost. It's freedom. Sometimes when we hear the
Hope Mangiafico (02:09)
Hmm.
Nikki Humphrey (02:11)
word surrender, we're thinking like we've been defeated, like we're giving up, like waving the white flag. But biblical surrender is different. It's not about losing. It's about trusting the right hands, God's hands. Surrender is saying, God, I don't need
Hope Mangiafico (02:12)
It's.
Nikki Humphrey (02:30)
to control this to be safe. God, you see more than I do. God, I trust you with what I don't understand. Because Proverbs
3, 5 through 6 tells us, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Surrender begins where understanding, earthly understanding ends.
Hope Mangiafico (02:54)
I could say that's a wrap.
Nikki Humphrey (02:55)
Just
spilled my tea. We're good. I got excited.
Hope Mangiafico (03:00)
Hopefully your notebook's okay. So,
it actually speaking about what it's not, it is exciting and I love what you said because as I got downloads for today's topic, the end I said, I heard God say, it boils down to do you trust me?
And that's exactly what you were saying. I think kind of where my mind went with this is, and I think I've talked to you about this, Nikki, like we've used that term throughout our podcast. And it's just like when we talk about guilt, shame, the terms we use all the time, it's like, God, what does it actually mean? Because we're so used to saying it and getting familiar with it without actually knowing what the heart posture of surrender is, right?
And what I found to compliment what you just shared was the word surrender isn't in the Bible. It's more of a modern day term. And so I did a little dig in and the terms that I found to mean surrender, which compliment what you said, are to submit, to yield and obey. And if you don't understand
who God is, those can sound really bad. That's like what you were saying, like giving up, like I'm submitting, I'm obeying, and people have this rebellion in them. All of us have walked out rebellion, so this is definitely not finger pointing to anyone where you don't want to obey because of fear or you think, like you said, Nikki, you understand what you're dealing with or you see more than God sees, you know? And so if you don't have the right lens of
Nikki Humphrey (04:29)
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (04:53)
it actually is trusting a loving father, it is very scary and makes you actually resist a heart of surrender instead of surrendering to that heart.
Nikki Humphrey (05:02)
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
I love how you said it can be scary because it is the first time where you fully surrender something over to God. It's such a trust thing. It is such a ⁓ loving thing to do and to give that thing over to God because you know that you aren't in charge of it anymore. You don't need to control it anymore. And when I was thinking about this, there are
Hope Mangiafico (05:14)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (05:32)
easy things to surrender, like the big things to surrender are easy, and then there's small surrenders that can be the hardest of all. But taking that first step of courage and obedience and love to your father and like you said, that yielding over, it's amazing what happens, what transpires from that one step of courage.
Hope Mangiafico (05:53)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (06:01)
old faith.
Hope Mangiafico (06:04)
Absolutely, and I was gonna say I loved how when you after I did the main intro you stepped right in and you talked about the freedom in it and I think that was a great way to start presenting it immediately to help put some guards down Because I mean I you probably have a story of this just as well as I do that like Sometimes we are hesitant and afraid to surrender or to submit or to yield to God
because we have been hurt or we've seen a bad outcome. And that's where poor teaching can hurt us sometimes because if you think God doesn't control everything, well then let me actually hold it all because something bad has happened before.
Nikki Humphrey (06:43)
Yeah, yes.
Hope Mangiafico (06:44)
that hurts you, it puts you in bondage instead of that freedom.
Nikki Humphrey (06:47)
It does.
That is true.
And to go along with it, like I said before, there's big surrenders and there's small surrenders, right? And I think the bigger ones are more obvious and I'm not gonna say easier, they're still challenging to give over, but they're just, like I just said, more obvious, like surrendering over relationships. Like that's a pretty big one that we do.
surrendering dreams that we made in the Curly Q's and not with God, surrendering outcomes from how things are supposed to happen, surrendering timelines. These are all topics that we covered in the podcast. And those are big, heavy things that we sometimes carry around too long, or like I said, we went into the Curly Q's and created up these own things and giving those over to God.
Hope Mangiafico (07:33)
Yeah. .
Nikki Humphrey (07:47)
It's still hard, but I think that sometimes we miss like those small little things that we always talk about, like the 1
% things that we surrender over that make the biggest difference in our lives.
Hope Mangiafico (08:06)
Yes, the daily actions you're taking, The second by second choices.
Nikki Humphrey (08:11)
Yes, because I was saying like, surrendering the need to have the last word, like boy, was I.
Hope Mangiafico (08:19)
I like where this is headed. Actually, this makes a lot of sense.
Nikki Humphrey (08:23)
You know, because I'm thinking about it like the big ones like we know like obvious like bad relationships and timelines and things but like surrendering the need to have a last word. ⁓ that was that's hard. Surrendering anxious thoughts. That's another one. Surrendering comparison. Aren't these topics familiar like we've done body has something surrendering self criticism and surrendering.
Hope Mangiafico (08:32)
⁓
Nikki Humphrey (08:49)
the control over how others respond to us. I said these moments seem insignificant, but they reshape our hearts.
Hope Mangiafico (08:55)
Mm.
everything you're saying is not of the kingdom of God. And so it's no surprise that they're painted with, we've talked about rose colored lenses. So a rose colored lens of this isn't a big deal.
I mean, I've been there, absolutely. honestly, I think I'm just now really grasping the concept of the power of my moment-by-moment choices and actually what it means to yield to God's way in that moment. Because we know, and the listeners probably can relate to this to some degree too, at some point in their life, they know the nudge of the Holy Spirit in those moments. But will you yield? Will you submit?
Nikki Humphrey (09:36)
Hmm?
Hope Mangiafico (09:40)
your flesh sin body to your loving father.
Nikki Humphrey (09:47)
Can I say something that popped in when you were, and I think that might, maybe we had the same download at the same time.
Hope Mangiafico (09:49)
Please do. Maybe that was the open tour.
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (09:55)
So Hope, when you said yielding and you said it before earlier, and now you just said to yield, I thought of like the yield sign for traffic. And what does that mean? It means to slow down, to check out your surroundings and then respond.
Hope Mangiafico (10:01)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
That's so good.
Nikki Humphrey (10:16)
And like we said, these small surrenders, that's what you have to do. You have to yield, have to pause. You have to check out your surroundings, maybe check in with God, and then respond in order to move forward.
Hope Mangiafico (10:22)
Yeah.
Yes.
And know, talking about the sign and making more of like a legal thought process with that by yielding and pausing in the natural with a yield sign, you're naturally obeying what is happening. So just the yield alone will lead you into obedience a lot more than you trying to white knuckle your way through it.
Nikki Humphrey (10:37)
Wow.
Hmm?
Yes, to have the last word like I so often wanted to do to prove my point to dig in, not yielding at all. Just always my mind always going, always thinking and always trying to like prove myself.
Hope Mangiafico (10:58)
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think that's where I was actually thinking before about what I called the Rose-Claire lenses or thing, it's not a big deal is it took so long for me to start to understand these are choices because I had been practicing these things so long. I had been surrendering my soul to this sin body, sin habits for so long that I authentically didn't think it was a big deal because I authentically felt like it was just what I've always done.
Nikki Humphrey (11:16)
Okay.
Hope Mangiafico (11:40)
the yielding is that pause, which you're talking about too. Like, hey, doesn't that sound familiar? We've talked about it, but I'll be honest. I have not thought about the pause and ponder in regards to a heart of surrender, even though it's like no brainer, they're related. I don't think I've connected those dots until you shared that today.
Nikki Humphrey (12:00)
Yeah, I didn't think of the yielding either when I came and just by you saying that, just, like you said, it's like a no-dub, but it helps things to line up.
Hope Mangiafico (12:11)
Yes, I'm a big fan of synonyms so that your brain can kind of think outside the box, you know, of like, instead of always saying surrender, what are some other words that mean the same thing? And it cracks open a whole new world of what you can choose to do differently to align with God.
Nikki Humphrey (12:17)
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
those big and small moments, those split decisions, those split those things that you say and the impact that they have on others or yourself or whoever by yielding it can have a whole different outcome.
Hope Mangiafico (12:48)
Yeah.
And you know, I just had this thought yesterday and it was timely to share. I was talking to somebody and we were talking about how sometimes we like move or speak without like waiting on the Lord. And she said that someone had shared a story with her and said how they picked, you know, they really went after and picked some battles they shouldn't have picked, right? And it made me think how using your example of having the last word, how I bet if we would keep quiet more often than not,
Whether you have the conviction to be quiet or not, but you always chose silence over speaking, God will redeem it all. Like, do I trust God enough in all situations to actually just be quiet? Even if someone is, you know, sharing something with you and you're like, ooh, I have it. You've shared this as your own testimony when you were doing some work. You have some stuff you could share with them. Don't do it. Not until you have that.
Nikki Humphrey (13:43)
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (13:45)
prompting from the Lord, which again, people could go back to one of our episodes where you share your personal journey of that growth opportunity you had. He will always do something amazing if you just
Nikki Humphrey (13:59)
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (14:00)
until someone's like, hey, Nikki, pay attention. You're like, okay, I can speak.
Nikki Humphrey (14:04)
Right. Or they ask, like, what do think about that? Or like, do you have a thought on that? Like, you're prompted to give a response.
Hope Mangiafico (14:07)
Yeah.
Yeah.
you might can relate to this too. Oftentimes, many of us just want to help people, right? And so we're giving those thoughts, tools, resources, whatever. And I had started thinking about that last night as well. And her and I were talking about the same story. And I got a download in which she said the lady got this download too that
We do not have any authority until Jesus gives us the authority, until the Holy Spirit gives us the authority to help someone to do whatever. I mean, you could apply this to any situation, opening your mouth, surrendering your relationship, all the different levels you shared. You have no ability to change anything or help people despite what you think is your until you are given that authority over in that moment by the Holy Spirit.
Nikki Humphrey (15:07)
That is right. And I have this Bible verse down that goes right along with what you're saying. Second Corinthians 10, five reminds us, take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ.
Hope Mangiafico (15:12)
good.
Mm.
I had never thought about that scripture in this light that I just shared. But that actually makes so much sense!
⁓ scripture's so deep and so layered and it's so good.
Nikki Humphrey (15:33)
It's so good. Make every thought captive yield and then as you think of a yield sign it has three sides like Father, Son and Holy Spirit, right? The three in one. Yield and make it obedient to Christ. Not us, not to the fleshy earthy self, but to Christ.
Hope Mangiafico (15:36)
Wow.
Yeah.
That's so good because traditionally that scripture, which is also right, taught about taking like every thought cactus with the negative ones that come in, which is good. But what about the ones that seem positive and you just want to help people? But it's bad timing. I am so excited about that. That's so good. I was digging into this, I was led to James 4-7.
Because remember, synonyms for surrender, submit, yield and obey, right? So James 4-7, submit yourself to God, resist the devil and he shall flee. People like to say resist the devil and he shall flee. No, no, no, what's the first part? Submit yourself, surrender to God. That is the first step.
and we all have areas we still haven't submitted and surrendered to God. And so the enemy isn't fleeing in our lives.
Nikki Humphrey (16:55)
That's right. And I had James 4.8. So carry on, which it goes. So it's a good teaching point, what you said. And then once you submit, says, James 4.8 says, draw near to God and he will draw near to you. So once you've submitted, you're drawing near to God, the enemy's gonna flee. And then,
Hope Mangiafico (16:58)
Stop it.
Nikki Humphrey (17:18)
you're like you have like God's ear like he's right there.
Hope Mangiafico (17:21)
Wow.
That's so good.
Nikki Humphrey (17:24)
And I wrote, surrender is an invitation to closeness, not distance.
Hope Mangiafico (17:28)
Yes, and that James 4, 7 through 8 shows that exactly. I can't believe that we had neighboring scripture. That is so cool. And it just makes you come to, I don't know, acceptance, I guess, of when life is really hard and you're tired, but you're still making progress, right? But you're like, we talked about this in one of our last progress episode.
Nikki Humphrey (17:37)
That's so good.
Hmm.
Hope Mangiafico (17:58)
and you're just like, while I'm still standing, the next question be like, God, what am I not surrendering to you if you feel like you're getting pummeled? question should be, in which I will say I have not necessarily asked the Lord, is what have I not handed over to you?
Nikki Humphrey (18:12)
I have asked that before and you'll get some humdinger of responses that you are like, what does that mean? Yes, right. Cause you're just like, had one time I said like, what God, what have I not surrendered to you? And he's like a bitter heart. And I was like, ⁓
Hope Mangiafico (18:24)
And there's the invitation to draw near to him.
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (18:42)
Like I said, it was a humdinger and I was like, when, what?
Hope Mangiafico (18:42)
Yes.
Correct!
Nikki Humphrey (18:49)
Yeah, I was convicted by it, but I had to find out where that conviction stemmed from.
Hope Mangiafico (18:50)
Ugh.
And that's the Holy Spirit because, I mean, this is a little out of context with scripture where Jesus can't tell you where it is in the Bible, but he talks about the Holy Spirit will bring to your remembrance. Like you have to trust when you feel that conviction, you know that's from God. Then the digging begins and you will be reminded of what it was. Maybe not instantly, maybe not even the next week, but knowing that it's gonna come up. And he's so loving, who knows why he's waiting.
Nikki Humphrey (19:06)
Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (19:24)
days,
months, weeks, whatever. But you have to listen to that conviction and trust that he'll unfold it and you gain that freedom. And I loved what you said of like, it's the digging. So after you ask that question and you don't know it, that's that drawing near and then the enemy's like, crap, the gap's closing. Squeeze out.
Nikki Humphrey (19:46)
Yes.
Yes. And I think for me, got that a couple of years ago about the heart of bitterness. It was when I was completely removed myself out of a certain situation, but I hadn't dealt with my internal feelings of the situation. And so it wasn't until God rescued me out of that situation, some time had passed, and then I was battle ready to deal.
Hope Mangiafico (20:03)
Right.
Nikki Humphrey (20:15)
with those things that God showed me about bitterness.
Hope Mangiafico (20:19)
Yeah, removing yourself from environment is only half the equation. And I think that's something that we always have to remember as Christ followers is that is a big first step, but there's always homework afterwards if you want to maintain freedom.
Nikki Humphrey (20:35)
Yes.
Mm hmm. Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (20:40)
Character development, I guess, is probably a more proper way to say it.
Nikki Humphrey (20:45)
For sure.
Hope Mangiafico (20:47)
It's good stuff.
I'll tell you something that I just started implementing because you just shared kind of what the Lord did for you a while back about the heart of bitterness. I've shared my word for the year is daughter, right? And so there's this theme and just a couple of days ago, and this has helped me so much. The word highlighted to me like, you know, the saying like, what would Jesus do? I've started asking, what would a daughter do? Nikki, it has changed.
Nikki Humphrey (21:09)
Yes.
⁓
Hope Mangiafico (21:16)
my perspective on everything in a moment. It's a quick question to ask. It automatically, because not a daughter to my earthly parents, but a daughter to a loving father that feels safe. So that statement instantly has all the beautiful characteristics of God. And instantly, I have found it to be easier to resist the opening my mouth, letting the negative thoughts come in. Specifically, what I wrote,
is that it has helped me yield to God and surrender the negative thoughts and old habits I've allowed from the thoughts to develop inside of me. And it's been so freeing.
the other thing that has been really beautiful to watch unfold through different ministries, I've noticed they've started not only talking about Jesus now, but doing what we do and like reconnect us to the Father because Jesus came strictly to show us the heart of the Father. So we want Jesus as our Savior.
Nikki Humphrey (22:15)
Mm-hmm.
Hope Mangiafico (22:16)
But we need to actually be so confident in our direct line to our Father. So what would Jesus do? We want to look like Him, but we don't want to just pursue Him.
We need to do all of our actions because we understand who our father is.
Nikki Humphrey (22:35)
I love that because when you think like what would a daughter do when you think about a father daughter relationship the daughter always wants to stay in right standing to their father and so when you're asking that question what would a daughter do it helps you to stay in right standing. ⁓
Hope Mangiafico (22:47)
Right.
Yeah.
Absolutely by default. And you know what it's helped me too is like I know in theory, God's supposed, a lot of people say God's not safe and I understand why they're saying that but when you're trying to heal and you know like welcome Him in, like I instantly feel that safety. It's like all of his characteristics just boom, hit me out once and I'm like, okay, I can rest easy when I'm feeling overwhelmed or all these darts arrows are being thrown at my brain for.
Nikki Humphrey (22:59)
Mm-hmm.
Hope Mangiafico (23:26)
million negative reasons. They dissipate.
Nikki Humphrey (23:29)
Yeah, all those earthly labels that we put on ourselves, they go away.
Hope Mangiafico (23:33)
Yeah,
and that's surrender. That really is submit to God and the enemy shall flee. And then you got that nearness.
That's been my secret sauce in the last five days.
Nikki Humphrey (23:49)
It's great. It's those little actionable steps, those little nuggets, those little things, you know, we have the yield sign that we talk about. We have like, what would a daughter do? It's those simple things. They're not always easy, but to help keep us in that posture of surrender, of not taking everything and carrying it with us and making it a part of our earthly identity.
Hope Mangiafico (23:55)
Yeah.
That's right.
Yeah. you could even apply both the yield sign and the question of what would a daughter do depending on the situation. Like when I was thinking about how I could use the yield sign, it's like when I'm absolutely overstepping my boundaries and it's like a yellow light flashing in front of my mind's eye. it's like, caution, caution, caution. And then I can be like, ⁓ okay. ⁓
But then the daughter part is more like when you feel very attacked or, you know, just again, what I said was opening doors to old habits. ⁓ Then this is more like needing that comfort and reminder of our loving, loving father. They're both so applicable depending on your personal situation in that moment.
Nikki Humphrey (24:54)
Yes.
Yes. And I think about the daughter. It's like when we're confused, when we're feeling lost, when we're feeling tempted, when we're feeling like all those strong feelings, that's when an earthly daughter goes to her father, right? And that's when we should go to God. Because what would a daughter do? A daughter wouldn't try to like muscle her way through all by herself.
Hope Mangiafico (25:18)
Hmm.
Hmm.
Right, you go to the stronger person in the home. That's a big part, you're right.
Nikki Humphrey (25:39)
Right.
Yeah. Like when you see those girls being bullied when they're young, like, ooh, I'm to tell my dad. Because he'll know how to handle it. I might not know how to handle it, but my daddy does.
Hope Mangiafico (25:49)
Yeah.
Exactly.
Yes. And it goes back to our childhood perspective ⁓ because, Nikki, I know I have thought I knew how to handle all the things. So I need to take on that child ship again to realize and accept that I do not know Jack's squad. And I've gotten more like at peace with that. And we've talked about our backgrounds and teaching all the things, feeding the beast. We've caught in all kinds of things.
Nikki Humphrey (26:00)
Yes.
Right.
Hope Mangiafico (26:25)
And I have just noticed like, ugh, I want wisdom, not information. And wisdom only comes one way.
for all mankind.
Nikki Humphrey (26:36)
It's so true. And if we step into that child's ship in surrender with that lens on, it's just like you have the image of like God and like you are like little Nicky or little hope or whoever and you're reaching up and you're taking his hand and you're grabbing a hold of it and you're not letting go. And so often I'm like, I'm letting go, I'm grabbing, I'm letting go. I'm gonna grab it.
Hope Mangiafico (26:55)
Yes.
Yes!
Nikki Humphrey (27:05)
What would happen if we just like grabbed on and let them lead the way? There's so often that I wanted to lead the way. I wanted to be in charge. I, I, I, I, I wanted things to work out X, Y, or Z.
Hope Mangiafico (27:18)
So that's so true about grab and let go, grab and let go. And as you're saying that, I'm picturing a hand holding image. The only time you can see above what's going on is when you're reaching up and he has the ability to actually lift you up to right, change your perspective. But when you release, you are limited. You can only see and know what you simply see and know. But you reach up and you hold up like hold that hand and hang on to it.
and definitely is the ideal situation every time. there's there's something coming at me. No problem. He'll just lift me above it. You know, okay, come back down. you can't see that thing coming up. Don't worry. I'll let you I'll raise you up so you can see the horizon a little better. Like he has that ability.
And he wants to be that to us. And that's the catch that we all need to understand. He desires that, which probably complements your James 4-8. He'll draw near to you. He is waiting for that handhold to be locked in, interlaced, right? All the fingers together. He is longing for that. But that first step...
is submitting or obeying, yielding, surrendering, whatever word connects the dots for you best.
Nikki Humphrey (28:40)
So I had written some notes about how to practice surrender in everyday life. You know, just like what we've been talking about, the yield sign, the daughter. And a lot of these, I haven't practiced yet, but these are some ideas, like some downloads that I had. And so start your day with, God, I give you today. Interrupt me if you need to.
Hope Mangiafico (28:47)
Okay.
So good, yeah?
Interesting, that's good.
Nikki Humphrey (29:08)
That's what I need a lot. need because I can go headstrong. I'm just working on the computer or whatever my day to day things and I need to be interrupted. If I'm going off course, God interrupt me. And then when anxiety rises and I was like thinking of my daughter with this one, Lord, I release what I can't control.
Hope Mangiafico (29:21)
That is so good.
Mm.
and
Nikki Humphrey (29:37)
give it to you. When emotions feel heavy, God help me respond from truth, not fear.
Hope Mangiafico (29:44)
That's been a big one for me, Nikki. I did not realize how much I was actually making choices out of fear. Again, because it was something I was used to that it had now become masked. Or again has that rose colored lens that it seems like the smart thing, the safe thing, whatever. It's fear. I just started like realizing that myself.
Nikki Humphrey (30:09)
Yeah, me too. It's a holding back and that's why God gave me that word for the year, expel. If I put it in, you better let it out. And then I had, when things don't go as planned, I trust you even here. Which happens a lot of me not staying on course. And I said, surrender is not a one-time act. It's a daily minute-by-minute posture.
Hope Mangiafico (30:11)
easy.
Yeah.
That's BS. ⁓
Nikki Humphrey (30:40)
It's not
like that's not sustainable for everybody to go minute by minute, but it really is. It's a daily posture that throughout the day.
Hope Mangiafico (30:49)
I would choose to say it is possible because we opened up towards the beginning saying all choices are second by second thing so in
Nikki Humphrey (30:58)
That is true. And if we're yielding...
Hope Mangiafico (31:01)
Every second's a choice. I'm choosing to open my mouth, pick up this pencil, write down this little note. I'd like, it's all a choice. The catch is it will feel more attainable the more you practice. it is absolutely, you can believe what Nikki's sharing if you believe you have choices at every given moment. And that's the hard truth to accept. But once you do,
Nikki Humphrey (31:02)
It is.
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (31:29)
you'll start to see some changes unfold in your heart. So I just wanted to say that.
Nikki Humphrey (31:36)
That's a good point. I'm so glad that you said it because in a while back in the episode, I talked about like, we can clean up our choices at any time too. That's because you made a choice and it like, you got off track a little bit. You can clean it up as soon as you realize that maybe that wasn't the best choice to make. Maybe that wasn't the best thing to say, action to do or whatever. Clean it up as soon as it...
Hope Mangiafico (31:45)
Yes, yes, yes.
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (32:04)
drops in your spirit that whoo check yourself girl.
Hope Mangiafico (32:09)
Yes, and I've been guilty of not cleaning it up right away because I think I've shared this on episodes before. Someone told me like, help you use God and Jesus as a protection. So I would think, ⁓ I'll later go dig in that with the father. There's a
Nikki Humphrey (32:24)
Yes, I'll go my Dean's
Corner. I'll get out my notebook and yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (32:27)
Yes! And God's
like, no. See, that's where I didn't realize moment by moment I had a choice. I saw everything as this elaborate process. But if that's the case, how in the world can you pray without seizing? It's that moment by moment choice. Prayer is communion with the Father, which is surrender with the Father.
Nikki Humphrey (32:44)
Hmm?
Hope Mangiafico (32:51)
That just fired me up because that is truly something I did not understand. And I'm so glad you brought that back up today because I needed the realization myself that it is not always going to your Jesus corner because that, going back to your list, Nikki, that's the unreasonable part for people, unrealistic part for people. Everyone can't do it, which means it's not the answer.
Nikki Humphrey (32:52)
I'm a big fan
It's not the answer. And if you need to correct something with somebody else, you might correct it for yourself, but you're not involving the other person in that conversation or moment or situation.
Hope Mangiafico (33:28)
Right.
And the ripping the band-aid off is always easier in the beginning and more quickly than the slow peel off. Which if you would wait and go journal in your Jesus corner, it's like slowly peeling a band-aid off. Because now you've got to revisit a conversation potentially. And that never feels good.
Nikki Humphrey (33:52)
Yeah, it's
so awkward. Like I said, the other episode where I'm like, that wasn't quite right. That wasn't, me, let me, let me clear that up. It doesn't have to be a big deal.
Hope Mangiafico (34:01)
Yeah. Yeah. And I,
right. No, absolutely. And I mean, I even before we hit record, I had to catch myself on words that were coming out. I'm like, hope, stop it. And so then I was like, nope, this was not, like, I had to call myself out on my words. And I thought I was past that point of using silly words like that. But it happens, you know, when you get caught up in old habits. So just rip the bandaid right off.
He's with you at all times, not just in your Jesus corner. That's so good. So I have a question.
Nikki Humphrey (34:34)
In the Jesus corner.
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (34:40)
Your second one, I think. ⁓ is it the second one about control? Which one was about control?
releasing what you can't control.
Nikki Humphrey (34:49)
When anxiety rises, pray, Lord, I release what I can't control. Because a lot of times anxiety is about playing forward a picture in your head of like what you think the outcome is going to be before it even had a chance to even occur real time.
Hope Mangiafico (35:00)
and
I, for so long, still had a deep belief that because of choice and free will, if you will, I don't know, that I still could control everything. It's like, okay, I surrender, but what if I do X, Y, Z, depending on the choice I make, that will dictate what happens.
I always had this belief that I really could control everything. And so I've heard many statements made about surrendering what you can't control, but I didn't understand what I could and couldn't control. Because I thought I could control everything despite choosing Jesus. How would you say you know what you can and can't control?
Nikki Humphrey (35:52)
For me, I would say, because I used to have the same thing and I used to think about like all the possible outcomes and like how I would respond. It's when I find myself doing that, trying to script things out or like come to conclusions that I don't have any basis for reality to form that conclusion, that I'm like, I have to release that because now I'm trying to stronghold
Hope Mangiafico (35:58)
Yeah.
Mmm.
Nikki Humphrey (36:22)
something I'm trying to gather all this data like I go on a deep dive on something and I'm trying to prove and I'm trying to do all that. So when I'm striving to come to an answer, that's when I know I got, I can't control it. I can't control other people. I can't control their thoughts. I can't control the weather. Like what's going to happen, the state of things, why somebody's going to come to it.
decision like that is just way too much. You can't calculate all those factors, at least I can, and only God knows what's going to happen. So that's when I had to learn to surrender and submit to him like your will, God, not mine. And I think remember Hope way back in the early episodes I talked about
going to Josephine's swim meets and like doing all these things and like trying to prep her and like if I say these prayers or I anoint her like all these things and she's going to have a great outcome. And then finally I was like, that's so silly. That's so silly. I'm like, God, that's your daughter. You know what she's going to do in the pool today? You've already made the way for her. I trust you.
Hope Mangiafico (37:22)
Right.
You said one word that summarizes all of that so well for me. Because it's been a long journey for me to realize that I can't control things. And women tend to say they have this control problem. They admit to it, right? But I think part of it is we don't have clarity on what we can and can't control.
And the word you said that I think really will resonate not just with me but with the listener, the striving.
Nikki Humphrey (38:04)
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (38:06)
That was like ding, ding, ding, that's it. Because you do have control over your choices, you get to choose. And that can, if you don't have the proper lens on, you can totally distort your reality of what's in your control. And I have been very guilty of that up until very recently and potentially every day to some extent, right? ⁓ So, and it's because I've always,
tendency to strive. That performance mentality we've talked about, right? Performing for love, doing this, that, and another. So what do I know besides striving? You don't know much else till you encounter God and continue to submit yourself, hold on to His hand, and let Him draw near to you. There's no striving in the kingdom. And that was it for me. I so appreciate you answering that. It was great.
Nikki Humphrey (38:59)
And I think for me, like releasing things what I can't control so often and I go, I talk about this a lot, but I think there's been a real big healing for me lately that on social media that I was like trying to look at things to try to learn.
from others or trying to like, just because they're my friend, I have to watch their content And just releasing of like, okay, Hope and I have talked about this so much that like, yes, we can learn things from other people, but that's not our true source of information. It can help us, but we can't be dependent on those things. And so...
Hope Mangiafico (39:37)
Right.
Nikki Humphrey (39:44)
I think I talked about this last episode, but since last episode to this one, I've done another social media purge people again. So that's two big whooshes in the last two weeks because yeah, was, was depending on those things for either affirmation or like I'm on the right track or like, I can't forget to go on so-and-so's page and like their stuff because they're my friend. Like,
Hope Mangiafico (39:46)
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Yeah. Happened to see it. The timing is appropriate. I feel that. And that goes back to what I said just a little bit ago about wisdom versus information. And I think we were fed so much information that we felt
Nikki Humphrey (40:14)
It's great if my friends' come up and I like, but... Yes! ⁓
Nose.
Hope Mangiafico (40:34)
fell guilty or fell under the influence of pure information instead of wisdom. And I started developing a fear that what if I don't go find this video and it's the secret video to unlock the answers? I mean, as ridiculous as that sounds and fear is irrational. That would be the case. So then I would keep flipping through their reels as an example. And maybe the next one is the secret one that God wants to use. I know if you've had those thoughts, but this girl has.
Nikki Humphrey (41:03)
Never.
Nope, not me. Mm-mm. No. That's a lie. See, I'm catching, I'm yielding. That's a lie. Yes, I am.
Hope Mangiafico (41:15)
But, you know, it's so freeing when you stop, whether it's purging or what I just did last night myself is I've talked about day trading before I stopped because I got very overwhelmed. But why did I get overwhelmed? Can anyone guess? Can anyone guess?
Who many people speaking in my ear on the YouTube? And then Instagram. And then Shawn started sharing them, which lo and behold, God is so cool that once I welcomed in my husband, the one Shawn shared with me actually led to something that helped me. Instead of me, next video. I really like this guy. Let me just binge all four videos that are 30 minutes long.
and then you get so crowded in your head. And the reason I'm even mentioning this to compliment what you said, Nikki, is because what has happened since last night, because I'm like, God, I know that you said I'm supposed to learn day trading. I sure as heck don't feel capable. Check the box. That means I absolutely should probably do it because I don't feel like I can. I don't have the ability. And I also realize that everyone is teaching what they know.
Nikki Humphrey (42:26)
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (42:27)
It's never all gonna mesh up because there's no one way. This is a word for everyone right now, day trading aside. There is no one answer because just like Nikki and I have said, your study of one were fearfully and wonderfully made. There is something so specific for your YouTube channel vision, your podcast, your business, your daily job that you do, how you speak to a person. It is perfectly made for you.
Nikki Humphrey (42:53)
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (42:54)
So for day trading, I know what works for me. It's simplicity. And guess what? I'm sure that's the answer for everyone for everything because that's childship. So I got in today and the simplicity was there and it felt good until it didn't. And I realized why it didn't feel good is there is an area.
Nikki Humphrey (43:04)
Bye!
Hope Mangiafico (43:16)
that I did not take the time to learn because I was always trying to consume more information. So I didn't get the foundation right.
And that's what I've been doing today. And guess what? It's absolutely necessary to do anything that God has told me is to get the right foundation.
Nikki Humphrey (43:34)
Bingo. Yes, I love that.
Hope Mangiafico (43:38)
Yeah, me too. That was great. I didn't know how this was going to tie in, but that's the answer. If your foundation isn't right and you can tell that you're feeling overwhelmed, the striving, striving comes from a bad foundation. It means you haven't surrendered an area. Ultimately leading back to do you trust?
And I didn't.
Nikki Humphrey (44:06)
Same in so many different areas.
Hope Mangiafico (44:10)
And actually, I can feel my, and I almost feel it from you through the screen, like my eye is watering a little bit because it breaks my heart. Because I want my whole life surrendered, but having the desire doesn't always translate to actions because of choice. And we have to take a moment to yield and really authentically say,
Nikki Humphrey (44:26)
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (44:34)
Do I want to obey him instead of these bad habits, the flesh, the sin body? Do I really want it?
Nikki Humphrey (44:44)
And that's how I was saying from the very beginning, it's those little things that make the biggest difference in surrender.
Hope Mangiafico (44:48)
Yes.
Yes, full circle moment. They met.
Nikki Humphrey (44:54)
Yes, so easy
to pinpoint those big things we need to surrender, but those little itty bitty things that cause those teeny tiny cracks in our foundation that become big problems later on.
Hope Mangiafico (45:08)
The Lord has highlighted to me while you were speaking how important, like you're saying, the small things are. And a word for all of us. We all are very guilty at some point in time highlighting and nitpicking other people for their little actions. It's time for us to let the Father do it in our hearts to all the little actions that we do to, for lack of a better term, nitpick at those.
I was just like, wow, God, that was convicting to me because I have notoriously kept a score, right? Notice all the little things that, we'll use my husband as an example, that he does. What about your little choices, Hope?
Nikki Humphrey (45:45)
That's right. Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (45:48)
They matter more than you know.
That's all I got.
Nikki Humphrey (45:52)
think that'll do it.
Friends, surrender doesn't make you passive. It makes you peaceful. It doesn't take your power. It aligns it. The more we release, the lighter we walk. The less we grip, the freer we become. Matthew 11, 28 through 30 reminds us, come to me all who are weary for my yoke is easy and my burden is light. God never asked you to carry what he offered.
Hope Mangiafico (46:10)
you you
Nikki Humphrey (46:21)
already offered to carry for you. As we move forward into this new season, this new year, may we walk lighter, breathe deeper, and trust more fully. Surrender isn't the end, it's the beginning of true freedom.
Hope Mangiafico (46:36)
Until next time, we'll see you in the overflow.
Nikki Humphrey (46:40)
Wait, before you go, here's a quick reminder. Your transformation starts January 26th, 2026. Equip for Wholeness restores every part of you step by step. Sign up now and step into the life God has designed for you.
