Nikki Humphrey (00:00)
Get ready because on January 26th, 2026, a brand new journey begins.
Hope Mangiafico (00:05)
Equipped for Wholeness is a Christ-centered course created by myself and Nikki designed to restore every part of who you are, body, mind, and spirit, so your God-given radiance shines in every area of your life.
Nikki Humphrey (00:19)
if you are feeling stuck in old patterns, if you long to heal past wounds and replace lies with God's truth, if you're ready to see yourself in a way that God, our Father, sees you, radiant, purposeful, and deeply loved, this course is for you.
Hope Mangiafico (00:35)
We'll walk with you step by step as you renew your mind, strengthen your spirit and embrace a joyful grace-filled relationship with yourself.
Nikki Humphrey (00:44)
It's time to lay down the weight of worldly expectations and rise into your true identity in Christ, already complete, already cherished and already equipped for wholeness.
Hope Mangiafico (00:56)
Sign up today to secure your spot and begin your transformation, your journey to lasting wholeness starts now! Link in the show notes.
Hope Mangiafico (01:06)
Hi, I'm Hope.
Nikki Humphrey (01:07)
Hi, I'm Nikki. Welcome to Equip Fellowship, where friends become family through Christ. We're two Jesus-loving friends on a mission to share personal stories, resources, and real talk about our triumphs, breakthroughs, struggles, and setbacks. Why? Because we believe you are called to live victoriously, and we are here to equip you with Holy Spirit-led tools and strategies to strengthen your faith, transform your mindset, and walk.
Hope Mangiafico (01:18)
.
Nikki Humphrey (01:37)
boldly in God's promises, because here's the truth. You have been given great and precious promises by God. So grab your coffee or your water bottle, lean in and let's grow together. It's time to step into everything God has for you.
Hope Mangiafico (01:54)
Yes, and with that comes gaining better understanding in areas that you think you understood and you didn't, right? And today we're talking about what it means or what it looks like to be a...
peacemaker, which is what scripture calls us to be, versus a peacekeeper. Because as Nicky and I were talking, ⁓ much to our surprise, they are not the same thing, even though at surface level you think they are.
Nikki Humphrey (02:22)
Yes. I can't wait to dive into this because when Hope gave me this topic, I was just like, ⁓ in my head, before I sat down and tried to like figure out the differences, I was like, they're the same, but they're not the same. I know they're not the same, but they feel the same to me right now. And it wasn't until I took a deep dive in defining what each both meant to me, like I told Hope, like, ⁓
Hope Mangiafico (02:25)
⁓ we do.
Mm-hmm.
Nikki Humphrey (02:51)
God really revealed some hard truths in the process of the differences of peacekeeping and being a peacemaker.
Hope Mangiafico (02:59)
Yeah, I'm so curious if some of the stuff he highlighted to you matches what he highlighted to me, because one of the first things out of the gate...
was that like a peacemaker is loving peace, whereas a peacekeeper is like a fearful peace, where it's rooted in fear of man or an outcome, et cetera, whereas a peacemaker, there's like this beautiful love attached to it, right? Which absolutely aligns with God's kingdom and Jesus.
Nikki Humphrey (03:25)
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (03:26)
I don't know if that aligns at all with anything that you got.
Nikki Humphrey (03:31)
What I got for peacekeeping, and this is like how I defined it for me. It's when I avoid conflict, when I stay silent to keep everyone comfortable, when I'm pretending that everything is fine, when I absorb tension so others don't have to, and when I minimize my own needs, my voice and my boundaries. And then I said,
Hope Mangiafico (03:37)
Mm-hmm.
Nikki Humphrey (03:57)
For me, peacekeeping is all about maintaining appearances, even at the cost of your own peace.
Hope Mangiafico (04:04)
Mmm. That's great. That's really good.
Nikki Humphrey (04:08)
mean, are good things, but it was good revelation. ⁓
Hope Mangiafico (04:08)
And you know...
No good revelation
for sure because like mine was very brief of like being a peacekeeper has this root I'll say for me is fear and some of the things you describe does match like fear of man like appearance is actually caring about what the world thinks right? lot of what you said aligns with that and then for me too a fear of a certain outcome so you want to
Nikki Humphrey (04:36)
Mm-hmm
Hope Mangiafico (04:38)
kind of keep the water steady for lack of better terms, right? And not ruffle any tail feathers. And so it has that deep root of fear, but manifests as all of this stuff that then, like you said, which I did not consider, it just kind of stomps on you. And that's actually very aligned with the conversation I was having with someone where they were speaking of wanting to be a peacekeeper. But as they were saying that,
everything they said, minimized who they were and their needs. And that's where that anxiety comes from, right? Because you know that you're gonna be worn down, overlooked, fill in the blank.
Nikki Humphrey (05:21)
That's so interesting. So when you talk about fear, after I wrote what peacemaking was revealed to me, and then I said, why we resist peacemaking, and those are all fear-based things. So I said, I resist peacemaking because of fear of rejection, because of fear of conflict, for fear of someone being mad, fear of not being liked, and fear of rocking the boat, kind of like what you said.
Hope Mangiafico (05:53)
Well, in my mind, the peacemaker and peacekeeper, because they do look so similar, it's no surprise that I define my peacekeeping with the roots of fear and you're defining the resistance of peacemaking rooted in fear because it's like you can only have one or the other. So you would think the root of one would still involve
the ignoring of the other. Because I would have never thought to put it in the perspective of resisting peacemaking, for example. But I think we are absolutely saying the same thing differently. That's so cool.
Nikki Humphrey (06:21)
Mm-hmm.
Right, because yeah,
how I defined peacemaking, I was like, those are hard things. And why do I think that they're hard? And that's why I got into like, why I would resist it.
Hope Mangiafico (06:35)
Hmm.
Fascinating. See, and I, okay, so I didn't even think about asking why it's hard. The like download I got instantly was just loving peace. And I instantly knew that that two word revelation is, it is rooted in the love of God. And guess what scripture says, I wrote this down and you know this, 1 John 4 18, perfect love casts out fear. So, if we're walking fully in his love.
we wouldn't be afraid to be a peacemaker. So that validates, again, what we're both saying and it's based on scripture and truth of God's character. That's so powerful.
Nikki Humphrey (07:19)
Yes.
Hmm?
Hope Mangiafico (07:23)
Wow. And it kind of goes back, to one of our episodes that was like how to love like God because our confusion too of what love really looks like, either confusion or being masked by life and that confusion of enabling equals love or, you know, fill in the blank and we still don't have that good understanding.
Nikki Humphrey (07:49)
Yeah. Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (07:52)
all around, right, for ourselves and for others.
Nikki Humphrey (07:54)
Mm-hmm, for sure.
Hope Mangiafico (07:59)
Hmm.
Something that I thought was really interesting, Matthew 5, 9 says, blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called children of God. And this, I don't know, I feel like this is gonna go really well into part of your revelation too. I wrote, to be a peacemaker, you'll create pushback, which is also why, like it's like we know that, right? In the depths of who we are, which is why there's fear to become a peacemaker, right? You'll create pushback, disrupt
Nikki Humphrey (08:09)
Mm-hmm.
Hope Mangiafico (08:29)
others' ways of thinking. And in that moment, it may not look like peace, but the end will be peace because as a child of God practicing it, you'll be producing long term kingdom fruit. Jesus is the Prince of Peace. You and I, Nikki, can both attest to this as true because we have many times experienced him as peace. But just like he revealed to you, Nikki, of how, you know, you were just like, this was some hard truth.
It doesn't mean Jesus won't confront sin or misaligned actions or misdefinition, right? When it's at work in someone's life. Jesus was willing to risk the bad appearance, right? The fear, like just the disengagement, the pushback, the hate even. He was willing to risk that because he knew who his father was. And peacekeepers, which is again, I think what we often
default to. Surprisingly, it's actually more comfortable even though we're suffering at the same time, isn't that how things seem to work? Peacekeepers, just like myself and like Nikki and I were just talking about, we're still walking out that reality of seeing 1 John 4 18 come to pass or we have the perfect love of God casting out fear. ⁓ And that's really what I felt like it boiled down to as
I was getting my revelation is like, how wild is it that we have Jesus as our Prince of Peace, an example in scripture where we see all the things he did, but because it was really intense, it's kind of like your own revelation is like,
I'd rather oddly suffer in the peacekeeping. That's wild, isn't it?
Nikki Humphrey (10:22)
Mm-hmm. It is. And hearing you talk and then looking what I got for peacemaking, I was like, isn't God so good that he drops these topics and either to you or I, when the timing is just right? And we've talked a lot about this throughout our past podcasts is that a lot of this, a lot of our podcast episodes were building a really great foundation for us spiritually and our relationship.
with God and I was able to take everything he said about being a peacekeeper and be like, that's so cool that you're revealing that to me and not becoming, even though it was hard, like not becoming offended by it and not trying to like justify why I did that. And then the revelation I got for peacemaking was all those foundational approaches that we have been building upon throughout this podcast came into play.
Hope Mangiafico (11:06)
Yes. Yes.
Nikki Humphrey (11:20)
because I got for me, peacemaking looks like addressing conflict with truth and love,
showing up with honesty, setting healthy boundaries, pursuing reconciliation, not avoidance, inviting God's truth into hard spaces. And then I wrote, peacemaking leads to real peace. Like you said, hope the kind Jesus talks about.
Hope Mangiafico (11:30)
Yes. Yes.
Nikki Humphrey (11:49)
because it is rooted in truth, courage, and spirit.
Hope Mangiafico (11:56)
Literally, that's it. It's the embodiment of Jesus. What I love though is you gave like really tact, like tactical, that's the word, right? Tactical, practical examples of what that looks like in day-to-day life. Because in my mind I was like, well, I'll keep studying the life of Jesus, which is also very true, but
Nikki Humphrey (11:58)
Mm-hmm.
Yes, that's it.
Mm-hmm.
Hope Mangiafico (12:23)
Because you have that direct access to the Father, you can get direct downloads of what it looks like. Those were so good. Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (12:31)
And that's what I need for my peacemaking. So if somebody
else goes to the father and asks like, what you need, it might be the same, it might be different, it might have a little twist to it, who knows what it would be. But for these are real life things that I have been working on and it just shows I have more room to grow in it and that's exciting.
Hope Mangiafico (12:43)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Such a good attitude. I love it. And you know, what also came up for me, I was like, much to my surprise, this whole conversation came about as like a conversation around surrender, actually. ⁓ And I don't know, as you were sharing what you were saying, and what God gave you.
It is a heart of surrender at the same time because you were talking about you start with that foundation, which you've talked many times in previous episodes about surrender. And you've kind of you think just kind of dropped it in episodes because that's part of the journey to get you here.
to not hold onto these fears or desires to not rock the boat or whatever. You've gotta open your hands and trust God and ultimately what you read about the character of Jesus in the scriptures. And it is a surrendering.
Nikki Humphrey (13:54)
It totally is hope. I love that you're saying that because it's God's like connecting the dots as you are, as you're talking. And I think it's great. And it's also, it's like healing a heart wound at the same time, because I have been really digging deep into this week. It's like my woundings and how I reacted when those woundings occurred and throughout my lifetime.
Hope Mangiafico (14:07)
Hmm.
Hmm.
Nikki Humphrey (14:19)
And what I learned Hope is that whenever I was like wounded or something like really zing me or like knock me out, I immediately shoved it down so quick into the box and just continued on with my day. Like didn't even like, didn't even take two minutes to process that. And I'm just like, ⁓ lot of my healing with God this week has been like going back and we've said this in previous.
Hope Mangiafico (14:32)
Yeah, right. Yeah.
Mmm.
Nikki Humphrey (14:47)
revisiting those traumas because at the heart of it, I was trying to keep the peace in the middle of me experiencing my worldly trauma, which is horrific. Like people would be like, how could you do that? How could you experience X, Y, Z and then just, then go on with your day and interact with people and teach or do whatever. Like nothing ever happened is because peacekeeping, being a peacekeeper
Hope Mangiafico (14:56)
Okay. Okay.
Nikki Humphrey (15:16)
and
can really wound you spiritually. And peacemaking, being a peacemaker frees you.
Hope Mangiafico (15:25)
Amen. Perfectly said because before you opened your mouth, I was like, Lord, we're gonna go into the conversation of trauma because that's at the end of the day is what makes us peacekeepers. And you know, I came across
what's coming up from this one conversation I just had yesterday, which is really interesting about God's timing because I sent you the topic before I had this conversation with the person and it's like, God, you're so cool. it's been a while.
Nikki Humphrey (15:45)
I mean, yeah.
It's bar alignment.
Hope Mangiafico (15:59)
good. ⁓ I came across something that talked about trauma and you know I feel like it's such a beautiful thing that it's becoming a hot topic but at the same time you'd never want us to get like so familiar with it that it's a blanket statement and I've gotten a little more concerned over that as I'm journeying with someone right and I'm talking about my life having trauma I'm like well
One, I don't want to sound dramatic, right? Two, I don't want to play this comparison game, blah, blah, blah, all this stuff, right? And I heard, and I thought it was so rich and so good, that at the end of the day, we know trauma is subjective. It's different for everyone. But number two that I loved about this is He said, really at the end of the day, trauma is when something happened to you and no one was there to comfort you.
So he gave the example of 9-11 where everyone in the US and maybe the world were impacted by that. Of course, different levels because some people lost family members in the Twin Tower attack. It varies. But what he said is the people that had a less horrific experience witnessed it on the TV or maybe a person and they had somewhere to run for comfort. That hugged them, embraced them, told them it's gonna be okay. And that's
why we experienced trauma is that there was an event where we did not have comfort. And as a young kid, where you're still under the care, direct care of parents where they may not even know something happened to you, you know? I mean, we can't always point fingers that they just didn't show up, but maybe you hid it, right? Whatever it may be. ⁓ That's your reflection of what you have. Like we didn't know as children.
that we have Jesus as the ultimate Comforter, right? Our Holy Spirit directly is what scripture says. And that was so enlightening to me as we continue talking about peacekeeper and trauma and all of these things is.
We all have different stories in our lives that create these habits, these routines, these things we shove down, choices we make, but it doesn't mean it can't change and doesn't mean it can't be redefined and freedom is available. Just like you're saying this week, God brought up these wounds and the way you responded and all of this stuff, like he waited until now.
to bring this stuff up for you. And it was the right time to open that up for you.
for him to show up in a new way as comforter for you.
Nikki Humphrey (18:47)
Yeah, because I was listening to some podcasts and it was like, it was on this trend of like, in different podcasts, we're saying the same thing, which is always like, you better listen, Nikki, that, you know, some of my physical symptoms are a manifestation of trauma that has not been dealt with in appropriate ways. We know that we've talked about that before and you just talked about it now, but it was just like, all right, let's go back to these things and let's...
Hope Mangiafico (19:00)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (19:17)
visit it because I have some chronic things that I deal with. And I'm just like, it's all connected. Now I can see like the dots being connected, those lines being formed and just like, wow, now is the time to go back and heal those wounds with my father and see the impact that it not only has on me, but on Josephine, on my family, like what generational things.
Hope Mangiafico (19:18)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (19:46)
can be healed just
by me, like you said, going back with God the Father now and seeing what he has to say. Let him comfort me. Let him walk me through the steps that I need to heal those spaces.
Hope Mangiafico (20:02)
Yeah, and show individually each of us why we may have been a peacekeeper. And that's kind of what opened that door for me to even share that is like, your reason was rooted in trauma. And that may not be the case for everyone, but a lot of times it is.
And there just needs to be that understanding like it's okay ⁓ that that's been our response. And you know, what you just shared was so powerful too because in our course, Equip for Wholeness, like we covered that in that sequential order. And I was just working on it a little bit more. And I was in the body section talking about the body and the things showing up in your body from generational stuff.
And I love that you're sharing that as a direct testimony of yours because I have those stories too. And there is a sequencing of events that unfold to bring healing to you and your family, the present, the future, and the past generations. And it fires me up.
Nikki Humphrey (21:08)
fires me up too because I love how we address that in the course. But it's also new revelation as you're talking again, it's allowing me to go back to certain people and become a peacemaker.
Hope Mangiafico (21:22)
Correct, well that's what I was thinking when you said, God, yes, you said it's gonna be different for everyone. My thought I had internally, was like, yes, it depends on if a person is even asking directly about a relationship, their overall life. That's exactly what I was thinking.
Nikki Humphrey (21:25)
It's all like...
when
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Hope Mangiafico (21:44)
And often I bet it's where you've been a peacekeeper.
Nikki Humphrey (21:50)
That's it. Yes. That's what I say to
I'm so glad you vocalized that. Yes. Because those same people I was being a peacekeeper with, I'm like, well, it's time for the peacemaker to step in.
Hope Mangiafico (22:02)
Amen. Amen. it's rooted And that's what's so great is like, it's gonna be rooted in love because our foundation basing it off of Matthew 5, 9, blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called children of God. Guess what we've talked about as a foundation, how to walk as a child of God, know, submit the claim. I'm a child of God. Like we have built up to this point and no,
If you're listening to this and you've been a peacekeeper in multiple relationships due to wanting to protect yourself, that when you step out boldly and courageously, that's a big word, you gotta be pretty courageous. Jesus was the epitome of courage, because boy did he do some hard stuff and confront some tough things. But because you're a child of God and your heart is to be that and to pursue Him.
The end fruit, which is what I was saying earlier, is gonna be good. It may feel like loss momentarily, you know what? You're kinda looking like this, you grab the hands and you know, it may temporarily look like that relationship went 2,000 miles away. But God knows what he's doing.
You're choosing to be a child and it is love whether it feels like it or
Nikki Humphrey (23:33)
And your heart posture will change about the whole situation. A peacekeeper, I think for me is like, I'm frantic. Like I'm trying to control the situation. I'm trying to control the outcome. I'm trying to switch the optics of something. it's just like, ooh, it's all this anxiety and again, fear and ooh, contempt and worry and all these things. But being a peacemaker, just switches it automatically.
Hope Mangiafico (23:35)
Yeah.
So good.
It's so true, even though the word peace is in peacekeeper, there is this angst and this rush that's so true. And part of that is, it's the buildup to interacting with that person, being around them. It's this buildup to it instead of trusting the process and having that love attached to it.
The people that have been closest to us, because they're closest, they've been in your presence the most, they are likely the people that should have been there for you the most often.
that's why that comes out. And as we journey with the Father and let him heal us, that healing will overflow from us as a peacemaker to then just change the optic, like you said, and change the whole perspective of, maybe that was supposed to be their role, but they also...
have their own battles. also were struggling with X, Y, and Z. God sees them this way, but on your appropriate glasses, it changes everything. But it is completely normal for most people, for people that were closest to them, especially in childhood, to try and be peacekeepers with them, rooted in a desire for love, actually.
But God's like, be a peacemaker and the love's gonna come.
Nikki Humphrey (25:33)
And that's why I like when I wrote under peacemaking, it's inviting God's truth into hard spaces. And so that's again for me, since this is going to be newer things for me applying what we've built our foundation on is God, what is your truth in this hard space that I'm dealing with right now?
Hope Mangiafico (25:39)
Yeah.
Mmm,
it's so good.
Nikki Humphrey (25:57)
And I'm going to need that direct guideline, guidance, words, thoughts right now, because it's not wrote for me right now. It's something that I'm working on. So I'm going to need more scaffolding to carry it out.
Hope Mangiafico (26:07)
Yeah.
Yeah.
And here's another thought. You know, I briefly opened the door to surrender, which this is all kind of a conversation around surrender, but something that's kind of been on my mind is peacekeeping with all its reasons that we do it. Again, mine's very much rooted in fear. ⁓ Not even necessarily I was fear of the person or something else, but fear that maybe God won't show up in something.
⁓ And so something that I had an aha moment on yesterday was like as I began to surrender the people, because peacemaking is all relational. I mean, it's all person to person. And I have noticed as I step back and reflect, big, big breakthrough over time with me with becoming a peacemaker versus a peacekeeper is surrendering the individual.
Nikki Humphrey (27:13)
Yes, I've been doing a lot of that. Yes. ⁓
Hope Mangiafico (27:17)
Because
I can't take care of them anyways, even if I thought I did, even if they thought that was my responsibility at some point in time and then I took it on. He's father over them too.
Nikki Humphrey (27:30)
Yes, that's so true. And this is gonna be funny, but it's been working for me right now. Cause like I said, this is new. So whenever it's been coming up recently, and I'm saying like the last week or so about this and surrendering people over and I wanna get into my old habit cycle with them. I just sing that Jesus song that we did a real on.
Hope Mangiafico (27:47)
and
Nikki Humphrey (27:56)
way back in the summer. And I just
Hope Mangiafico (27:57)
yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (27:57)
say, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. And it helps to reset my mind of just like, no, it's not. It's for Jesus. It's for God. It's not for you to handle. And so I've just been singing that in my head a lot because I need something. I need something to like refocus me in that moment and to not to stop obsessing.
Hope Mangiafico (28:10)
That's good.
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (28:26)
And just give it over. Like you said, that surrender. It's yours, God. It's always been yours. It's not for me to pick up.
Hope Mangiafico (28:30)
Yeah.
a surrender conversation goes so deep. know, sometimes we treat it as like, it's just surrendering my finances, but it's like it has so many layers to it because we're layered, we're complex. So it's in every aspect of our life to practice in. So yeah, you're in a surrender, you're in a season of having a very focus.
Nikki Humphrey (28:41)
Mm-hmm.
Hope Mangiafico (29:05)
own relationships for surrendering. And I think that's so beautiful and so simple too. Because what I like about you doing it that way with that song is like it's kind of upbeat and fun. it is that it's a pause and like a interruption completely because it's upbeat and fun, whereas the obsessive thinking and the worry and the fear is the complete opposite. And so I don't find it surprising that that's like the perfect interruption.
Nikki Humphrey (29:21)
Yes.
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (29:32)
And
immediately when you started singing, you know, I just start dancing because it's so catchy and so simple. So that's great. Ah, that's so good.
Nikki Humphrey (29:44)
And again, whatever tool different people come up with, just keep it simple. And that's what we've been stressing throughout all these weeks of the podcast. It's just like, don't make it complicated. Make it simple. Make it something that it's easy for you to gravitate to. So maybe the Jesus song isn't for you, but it's something else that can change your thoughts really easy. Do those things that work for you.
Hope Mangiafico (30:04)
Yeah.
Yeah. And to compliment that, just because like, Nikki's talking about simplicity and your song is simple. For me, you got so much more for today's topic and like details, practical steps that the father gave you. They were still simple. But for me, when I asked Lord Peacemaker and I get loving peace, peacekeeper, fearful peace, that's the simplicity that he talks to me in right now because of
Nikki Humphrey (30:25)
Mm-hmm.
Hope Mangiafico (30:36)
the main traits that are showing up in my life.
I mean, that was it. And then I got the scripture and just a little download. But like, that was all I had because as soon as I heard loving peace, I was like, I know exactly what that means. I don't need to ask any other questions. And then fearful peace, I know what I meant too.
Nikki Humphrey (30:56)
Yeah, not only what it means, but how it feels, how it shows up in your body.
Hope Mangiafico (31:00)
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes honestly I think every single person listening because I know I can attest to it Could agree with how you didn't even intend to describe peacekeeping how that makes it feel internally
And that's how we know it's not of God. It may have the word peace in the word, but that's not God. That is such a wild concept to me that we have the ability to use this term. And it doesn't match.
Nikki Humphrey (31:27)
See you.
There's so many things, so many things in our world that like, yeah, the connotation, the twisting of a word can lead so far from its original intended meaning and purpose.
Hope Mangiafico (31:42)
Yeah.
Yeah. Well, you know, as I was writing, I really want to stop saying that because you don't know what I'm about to say. And I notice when I listen to our podcast, I say that all the time. It's just a fun side note because you don't know what I'm about to say. As I was also asking about this topic, what came to mind were like the pageants where it's like they want world peace. Do you know what that really means? They just want to keep peace.
Nikki Humphrey (32:04)
Thanks.
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (32:19)
They just want everyone to basically shut up, let it be. They're not talking about the peace that we're defining today. I just, heard Ms. Congeniality or something. don't know. Holding the microphone in world peace. It's like, you realize what you're actually saying, cause you never, they like never have to elaborate really, I don't think, at least not in the movies, but it's rooted in everyone just
Nikki Humphrey (32:29)
Yeah.
Okay.
Hope Mangiafico (32:47)
Basically like, cool, you're accepted here, you're accepted there, you can just come on in, dah, dah, dah, dah. It's a, what's the word? Ooh.
tolerance.
Nikki Humphrey (33:02)
tolerances that peace
Hope Mangiafico (33:03)
Tolerance keepers.
Yeah, yeah, tolerance keepers. ⁓ And that unfortunately is why we will continue to see people wanting peace, but not seeing it unfold. It's because they're not getting the definition from the Prince of Peace.
People get up in arms when Christians, I'll say Jesus followers, confront the ugly, confront the things that are bad behavior, sinful, misaligned. They get mad because they don't understand where peace really comes from.
Nikki Humphrey (33:45)
And they probably have a history of that chaotic peace.
Yeah.
Great. Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (34:04)
My way or the highway, sister?
Nikki Humphrey (34:07)
You know what I've been through? Do you know what I've been through?
Hope Mangiafico (34:10)
I've never said that. I've never thought that.
Nikki Humphrey (34:16)
Yeah. And so now when I get these things and it's like a loving correction for me, I get excited because I'm like, I know exactly what I should be working on next. Like, this is my next layer of healing and I can't wait to see what happens because of
Hope Mangiafico (34:21)
you
Hmm.
Well, you know, you're the, at least from my knowledge, you're like the OG of loving corrections. And isn't that what a peacemaker is? They're lovingly correcting something that's not of God. By creating boundaries, like you said, or maybe having a hard conversation, but at the end of the day, it brings a loving correction to point them back to the truth. It's just you practicing loving correction to others.
Nikki Humphrey (34:46)
Yes.
It does.
I mean, I think everybody can have a story like this, but you remember those teachers who are hard on you because they pushed you and allowed you to grow so much. Right now, Josephine has a coach like that. He'll take the time to like, I mean, like at the swim meet this past weekend, I was sitting next to my friend and we were laughing. I'm like, whoa, he is really talking to Josephine, like for a long, long time. And then after the meet, I'm like, aren't you so excited, Josephine, that your coach took
Hope Mangiafico (35:07)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (35:31)
all that time to spend with you, to help you, point things out, to like push you to the next level in your swimming.
Hope Mangiafico (35:31)
Hmm Hmm.
Nikki Humphrey (35:41)
Because I'm like, Josephine, if he didn't care, he would have been like, yeah, good job, moved on. But it's like when people take that time to explain and like give you that loving correction with feedback and next steps that we're asking God to do for each of us, like.
That is awesome.
Hope Mangiafico (36:04)
That's so true. There's care attached to it and that might actually be
for me at least one of the greatest differences
Nikki Humphrey (36:14)
Yes.
addressing conflict with truth and love Yeah
Hope Mangiafico (36:19)
Yeah, well yeah, and love is kind of, you know, that's been the term, but when you
just said care, it hit a next level, because sometimes we need to define love.
Nikki Humphrey (36:27)
Yes. ⁓ yes, that's good. Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (36:30)
And I mean, I know that because all we see is twisted versions of love because love only comes from what we witness. So when you said care, it just hit a deeper level of like, okay, God, how can I express caring to someone to create peace in their life, to make peace in their life?
Nikki Humphrey (36:38)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (36:54)
And when you think about it, how can I express care to someone to keep peace? If someone is, we're like this with someone, there probably is no peace to be kept in the first place.
Nikki Humphrey (37:05)
No.
Hope Mangiafico (37:09)
That's interesting thought that I just had. Like, what are keeping? You're keeping nothing. ⁓ That's hilarious. And so, yeah, the care part creates, caring creates a change.
Nikki Humphrey (37:24)
Mm-hmm. Yes. Yeah, and when you feel cared for, you're motivated to change.
Hope Mangiafico (37:28)
Three Cs.
Yeah.
That's so interesting because know, scripture has what love is. There's a whole Bible verse on it. Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. But at the end of the day, I'll use you and me as an example, saying, Nikki, I care about you. So I'm not going to envy. I'm going to celebrate you. I'm going to be kind to you.
I'm not gonna boast about my things, I'm gonna rally behind you. I'm not gonna be self-seeking and try and climb the ranks and leave you behind and say, it's rooted in caring for you. And I just, this is a big revelation for me even though I've defined love all the time, but it's, and it might be because I still have a wound where I still long to feel cared for.
and the way that I believe I feel cared for, you know? That might be why it's hitting like so deep right now.
Nikki Humphrey (38:26)
Yeah.
Yeah.
And when you feel cared for, you accept feedback easily. Like you will tell me things, Hope, and I don't take offense to it at all. I'm just like, ⁓ that's interesting. Like, yeah, I need to dig into that because there's some truth to that, you know? And it's brought to Hope's attention for a reason.
Hope Mangiafico (38:50)
Yeah.
Yeah. I loved your like when I sent this to you, I loved your attitude towards it. And even just like when we connected before recording that you're like, yeah, this was good. And it's that response excited me because it validated even further that we are just vessels of God. Like this was new news to you. And this was something I've actually years ago had a very brief conversation with someone and it stuck with me this long.
but I've never really taken it further to the father. ⁓ And hearing your approach to it and asking for practical steps and expressing that to me and to the listeners makes me like, okay, God, I'm eager to now ask relationally, what does peacemaking look like for this person and that person? And there's so much freedom. Like I just feel the freedom attached to it. A healing attached to.
being a peacemaker versus peacekeeper that I honestly would have probably never thought of these terms coming into play with healing. But that's how you started the whole conversation, that it brought healing.
Nikki Humphrey (39:57)
Mm-hmm.
because that's where I'm at right now. And that's why I said like the timing and the foundation, it doesn't make sense before it makes sense.
Hope Mangiafico (40:07)
Yeah.
Right, of course.
Nikki Humphrey (40:15)
Yes, it just rolls out and that's why you have to be so open with your relationship with God and just trust that everything's being putting play. Everything has a purpose, even if you don't understand it. Probably get excited when you don't understand it because you know something's coming.
Hope Mangiafico (40:31)
Boy am I working on that one all the time. Maybe I need to do Jesus, Jesus to get me so excited going.
Nikki Humphrey (40:33)
Like I'll
text me this thing and I was like, I don't understand that I can't find it
Hope Mangiafico (40:40)
You responded,
I could tell in your text, like it was so brief that you're like, huh?
Nikki Humphrey (40:45)
Yeah, but I knew it was good. like, it's, I didn't realize it was all connected to what I was going through. Cause you know, sometimes we're too close to something to even see that we're right there. And it wasn't till I sat down last night and just defined it for myself. I'm like, okay, what does this mean for me? What does this mean for me now? What should I be working on? What's keeping me from pursuing this? Like, why is this confusing to me? And then I was like,
Hope Mangiafico (40:56)
you
Nikki Humphrey (41:15)
All the revelation just popped out.
Hope Mangiafico (41:18)
Yeah, that's so good. Gosh, and as you're speaking, I'm all of sudden, because I said, God, I can't wait for relational stuff. Like, I'm getting downloads as you're speaking of like,
a family member, a lot of people try to keep the peace with. They always say, she'll listen to you. But it's because I'm a peacemaker, I have a different approach with this individual. ⁓ Everyone's approach towards them is just like, don't ruffle the feathers, like, let's just not do this. Like, no, there's an approach.
for her to feel love, not that like you're stepping on her toes, taking away her independence. There's a way to make peace with her. And everyone thinks it's just me and it's like, no. Because of the discernment of Holy Spirit, I know how she'll respond and I know how to respond because of Him.
Nikki Humphrey (42:06)
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Hope Mangiafico (42:19)
just
got that revelation as you're speaking is like people have been trying to keep the peace with her and it doesn't work. Not only does it not work well, it actually ends up hindering because there's pushback from her so she actually gets less care.
But you don't realize that until you zoom out and let the Lord dictate your approach.
I just blew my mind.
Nikki Humphrey (42:47)
People need that. Cause I think of people, a person in my life that's like the same way everybody cuddles, everybody does whatever this person says just to keep the peace. So nobody pops off and everything. And I just go in there like, and I think that person listens to me because I don't do any of that. And they feel the difference that like, care. was like, you know, knock it off. Like, I don't say it like that, but like, that's kind of what they need to hear sometime.
Hope Mangiafico (43:08)
Yeah.
Yeah. Right, again, depending on the... Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (43:17)
Like, what are you doing? Like, what is that?
Like, that doesn't make any sense. Why would you? Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (43:25)
Yeah, depending on the individual, the way the care comes out will be catered to them because you have Holy Spirit. that's not to say other Jesus followers don't have it, but there is a... Not trying to go on a tangent here, but I'm feeling it. There is a choice that you get to choose every day. Will you stay in alignment with Him? Not only will you choose Him every day and ask Him questions, but now let's talk about Holy Spirit.
Nikki Humphrey (43:27)
Right. Yes.
Hmm
Hmm.
Hope Mangiafico (43:50)
Will you choose to let Holy Spirit to dictate what you say and do in people's life? That is being a peacemaker. Peacekeepers are self. Been there, done that, talked about that too, haven't we? That's why there's anxiety.
Nikki Humphrey (43:57)
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (44:08)
Boy, did I just get a lot in the last, what, five minutes for my personal self.
Nikki Humphrey (44:09)
Yeah.
And peacekeeping, this just came to me as you were talking, cuts off real communication.
Hope Mangiafico (44:21)
So true. If any communication is done. Yeah, it's like might end up period. person needs.
Nikki Humphrey (44:25)
Yes.
piece
can weave its way in real quick.
Hope Mangiafico (44:35)
Because you really don't know what they actually need. You're assuming. You're assuming how they're gonna respond. Yes, you have history, but we know enough about God that anything's possible.
Nikki Humphrey (44:37)
Yes.
Mm-hmm
Hope Mangiafico (44:50)
That's good.
conversation got richer by the minute.
Nikki Humphrey (44:55)
The downloads
kept coming. Love it!
Hope Mangiafico (45:01)
Wow!
Nikki Humphrey (45:04)
That's just a good example for everybody listening or watching. When God wants to reveal something to you, it'll happen. That's why it's good to be open at all times.
Hope Mangiafico (45:13)
Yeah.
the download and the understanding, because I didn't have a lot given to me, but as we're speaking, I'm getting a better understanding of what's showing up in my life without poking and prodding. Because sometimes, Nikki, we talk and encourage people to ask God questions, which is absolutely my favorite thing to do, but sometimes your girl can ask too many questions. And then I have to pause and say, well, now I'm asking too many because I'm not trusting.
Nikki Humphrey (45:42)
Mm hmm. yes, I hear what you're saying now.
Hope Mangiafico (45:47)
Yeah, like I'm just gonna keep digging because maybe I'll finally ask the right question to get the right answer to do the next step. You didn't pick it up because you won't do that like I do probably.
Nikki Humphrey (45:58)
I try to even brief because I don't want to overwhelm myself.
Hope Mangiafico (46:02)
I've always, I've lived in that state of overwhelm of digging and digging and digging. I mean, when you and I first met and worked with Pastor Joe, he was like, You're analytical. That's what he used to call me, analytical. And I, as I matured in my walk with the Lord, I'm like, that's an insult actually. Because in my situation, it's an insult. Because I'm analyzing everything to try and dictate next steps.
Nikki Humphrey (46:12)
Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (46:27)
and that's how I would misuse the questions to God. Is maybe this is the right way to ask it. No, this way. Let me try this way. Maybe this is the ding, ding, ding winner.
Nikki Humphrey (46:30)
Yeah.
He's like, girl, I got you. I created you. Okay, like you don't need to clarify it to me. God.
Hope Mangiafico (46:46)
Exactly.
Exactly. He's so good. I mean, he really is. I'm so grateful for the conversation today and feel there's more for me to dive into. Like specifically, it's like, okay, hope this is what we're doing this, you know.
Nikki Humphrey (46:52)
He's so good.
Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (47:07)
Not just like hey it's a good idea. It's like no let's do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah exactly. man. Perfect.
Nikki Humphrey (47:10)
Yeah, let's dig in a good way. Yeah.
⁓ I wrote an encouragement
just to like help me process too. ⁓ So I said, friend, your calling is not to absorb everyone's emotion. Your calling is not to carry what isn't yours. Your calling is not to disappear to keep others comfortable. You are called to be a peacemaker, a woman of truth, courage, and Holy Spirit wisdom. When you step into peacemaking, you step into freedom.
You step into growth, you step into maturity, you step into God's kind of peace, the kind that restores, reconciles, and transforms. May you have the courage to speak truth, the grace to listen, and the wisdom to walk in peace that Jesus gives.
Hope Mangiafico (48:07)
Wow, phenomenal.
We're gonna keep the conversation going in the overflow. So we'll see you there. Thank you so much for joining us.
Hope Mangiafico (48:18)
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