Hope Mangiafico (00:01)
I have hope.
Nikki Humphrey (00:01)
Hi, I'm Nikki. Welcome to Equip Fellowship, where friends become family through Christ. We're two Jesus Loving Friends on a mission to share personal stories, resources, and real talk about our triumphs, breakthroughs, struggles, and setbacks. Why? Because we believe you are called to live victoriously, and we are here to equip you with Holy Spirit-led tools and strategies to strengthen your faith, transform your mindset, and walk
boldly into God's promises because here's the truth. You have been given great and precious promises by God. So grab your coffee and lean in and let's grow together. It's time to step into everything God has for you.
Mary (00:37)
. Okay.
Hope Mangiafico (00:44)
Yes, and personal stories means another interview with another friend and a person that is my neighbor, actually, neighbor, and more specifically has become a great friend through amazing moves of God. When you think about Mary, how you ended up here
in this neighborhood up the street from
So this is my friend and neighbor Mary and we are so excited to have you on the podcast today.
Mary (01:12)
Thanks, super excited to be here.
Hope Mangiafico (01:16)
man, just fired up just for, I'm trying to think. I have known you, I guess it was around 2019. Is that when you moved into the neighborhood? Edit, okay.
Mary (01:24)
Yes, it was,
Mm hmm. Yep. So we
moved in December, but I guess I had met you probably a little earlier through Kendra, I guess like that summer maybe. So yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (01:38)
Yeah,
well that was kind of my, so one of my ⁓ first questions that was coming to mind is like how you ended up in this community because what I remember and it's crazy to think that you've become not only a good friend but specifically a good friend in which I can know that is nearby that I can go to and we talk about Jesus and we direct ourselves back to Jesus and focus on the Lord.
And the first time I met you, really didn't truly meet you because my first memory is, I guess, before you were in the neighborhood and I was watching Kendra's Kids and you guys were on some like date night on like a, not Halloween, Halloween's around the corner, but what is it called? Valentine's Day.
Mary (02:15)
Yeah.
It feels like Valentine's or something. Okay, so
then maybe it was actually after we moved in because we had just been in for a couple months. I think at that point they are I had heard about you though through Kendra. That's what it was. So yeah, yeah, I know how he got there. It's crazy because you probably heard the story. I was always like, you know, Kendra was like, hey, you should come on over here. Like check out the neighborhood. It's cute. And we were like,
Hope Mangiafico (02:27)
Okay, yeah, that was my first.
That would make sense. So yeah.
Mary (02:49)
not really truly considering moving, but this was not anywhere in our plan. Like a neighborhood was not in the plan. It was like, let's go buy a couple acres with a house and then just hung out. Cause we were in a little neighborhood already. And I was like, I don't know. I just want space to space, you know, like, like get away from the crowds. I'm an introvert and, um, came over one summer, we were hung out and she took us to the model home, of course. And all of it's like,
Hope Mangiafico (02:55)
you Okay.
Mary (03:18)
brand newness. I was like, this is amazing. Like, again, let's buy a house. And then jokingly, very jokingly, and next thing I knew, like two weeks later, we were signing papers and I was like, how did this happen? But literally, it was just all like, it was like, yeah, I guess I could see us there if we were in this specific lot and this specific house, like how's that gonna actually happen? And sure
Hope Mangiafico (03:22)
Yeah. .
Mary (03:40)
enough, it happened. ⁓ So again, God just kind of like, haha, here you go. You think this is funny, but we're gonna do it.
So then we ended up in the neighborhood, we ended up in an area we would never have considered Duncan. We never would have thought we'd move into like a huge neighborhood like this. then so ending up here is definitely, it was like the start of a lot of work really in my life from God. Like I had
Nikki Humphrey (03:48)
Thank
Hope Mangiafico (04:05)
Mm.
Mary (04:08)
no idea what was gonna happen years down the road from when we, you know, in 2019, who I was gonna meet, you you hope and all that.
So yeah, just getting here alone was a miracle by God just like laying the papers down and saying one step at a time. But yeah, and then so just yeah, it was 2019 and then trying to think I know like you and I have some interactions at Kendra's house just conversations. I remember being so intimidated by you and I know you've said that before by like other
But I just was like, again, but it was like the Holy Spirit's present in your life. And I was like, and I was like a lifelong, like, you know, they say cradle Catholic, cradle Christian was like, I'm, but I was so lukewarm. And I could just, that was the Holy Spirit being like, Mary, this is the way this is how you're supposed to live. And I was like, no, like I was just all knowledge, knowledge, knowledge at that point. Very, and you know, all of these things were going to be exposed to me down a few years down the road. But ⁓
Hope Mangiafico (05:07)
You
Mary (05:14)
Just so funny, think when I think back over our friendship over the years being super intimidated by you, like intrigued, but like,
Hope Mangiafico (05:23)
Mm-hmm
Mary (05:23)
I don't want to have like deep conversations because I'm going to be seen as a fraud. Essentially was kind of my like mindset without even knowing it. And then like growing and then like go moving into our like our little our like neighborhood. What do we call it? Like small group and how that
like took off and just made me like dig deeper. And then when I think about you, that's what I think about, like you really challenged my spiritual growth because like I had so much knowledge, book knowledge for my whole life, but it was just like, that was it. That was like where it stayed. just, the questions didn't really go deeper than what I had been taught and seen my whole life. And you definitely like challenged some of my thinking. And I was like, I don't know if I agree with that. I can be very strong-willed.
Hope Mangiafico (05:48)
Hmm.
Mary (06:14)
And then, you
know, like something happens and like, well, hope that that so maybe there is something to it. And just started like, just being okay with asking questions about Christianity. I think we're get the Christian world can be really scared about asking questions. ⁓ But I think it's super important to ask questions. And that was something that you can always challenge me to do.
Hope Mangiafico (06:18)
You
Hmm. Hmm.
Mary (06:37)
And I think that's where, when I think about like our friendship taking off was when we started having those little like deeper conversations that were very out of the box for me and what I grew up with. But yeah, just have
Hope Mangiafico (06:42)
Hmm.
Mary (06:49)
like how God pulled us into this neighborhood and really just set up a community in more ways than one. I mean, we're like really friendly. We know everyone here it seems like, but we really, have like, I would say our best friends are in this neighborhood and what we've been able to like.
Hope Mangiafico (06:49)
Thank you.
Mary (07:05)
go through because of that. It's incredible. mean, it's truly just God, what he's done.
Hope Mangiafico (07:14)
Yeah, well, and even thinking back from the beginning when you moved into the neighborhood because of Kendra, who would have thought one, my if I remember the story really correctly, you shared it a little bit. But if I remember correctly, I mean, you really didn't want to move into this neighborhood. I don't know how long Kendra tried to convince you to relocate and like that kind of like friction there and y'all's friendship. Because again, I know Kendra very well, too. And I know I know her personality of just being like, come on, Mary.
Mary (07:31)
Nothing.
Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (07:43)
It's so great like very much like me like excitable over the top big feelings and so that resistance and that can Oh, it makes me think oh gosh of how God uses anyone in anything which Nikki has shared that part of her testimony We all have stories like that but without kinder even knowing she was being a vessel used by the Lord to have an impact on your life and
Mary (07:47)
Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (08:11)
I think it's such a sweet reminder that if we are just living life, even if we're not fully actively pursuing the Lord, like He will use you in ways that you can't wrap your mind around. And so I think about that where Kendra kind of on her own journey as well. But in that moment, God using her, getting you here and then you move here and lo and behold, they up and leave pretty quickly from the neighborhood.
Mary (08:18)
.
I know, I still give her a hard time about that. Like, remember when you had us move here and then you left?
Hope Mangiafico (08:46)
like
so quickly and it was really, I barely knew you before they left. And I find that just so fascinating of again, God being able to use people even when they don't realize they're being used. And I think that can preach on so many different levels. And then that also part of your story that you were sharing of like kind of our friendship and how it challenged you because you grew up with all this knowledge. That is something I actually wanted to ask you about is,
Mary (08:51)
Okay.
Hope Mangiafico (09:15)
Honestly, Nikki, I don't remember your background and how you, not background, but like your schooling where you go from like, know, elementary to middle to high. But Mary has a very unique schooling scenario of just like Christian schooling, but like not just like, I was, you know, for a couple years, like it was all of her life. And so can you share a little bit about that too, and that schooling and your exposure to all that knowledge and all of that?
Mary (09:43)
yeah. Yeah, I mean, was, mean, classic.
I grew up in a Christian home. parents, thankfully, Christians, you we grew up going to church Sunday, I think, I don't know if churches still do this, but Sunday, Sunday school, Sunday service in the morning and then Sunday evening church and then Wednesday church. So like I was in the church building like four days a week, four times throughout the week or three times. And then I went to a private Christian school from the time I was four through high school.
Hope Mangiafico (09:57)
you
Mary (10:14)
So I mean, like, I mean, I was saturated in it and I have no resentment to that whatsoever. Even as a kid, I didn't really care. It was just life, right? But
I think I look back over that and because sometimes my mom will ask me, she's like, do you like resent us for all? I'm like, no, it's just you did what you did, what you thought was best for us, which is what every parent, you know, that the other day tries to do. And it's funny because now to like, I remember high school.
I was like, I'm not going to university here. Like I want to get out. I did end up going to another Christian university for a year. Um, not that I was ever trying to escape the Christian atmosphere, just wanted to get a little bit away from the bubble that I had been in for 18 years, essentially. But, um, this is great way of saying it was a bubble for real. Like, I mean, the same people literally, like there's people I know since I was four, we went to school together, had a graduating class of a hundred. Um,
Hope Mangiafico (10:57)
You
Mary (11:11)
There was just like,
my life was very stable and it's a good thing. Like I'm so thankful for that. ⁓ But yeah, went away for a year, came back, ended up going to like a state university, which was fine. Like, I mean, it grounded me for sure. Having all that knowledge definitely grounded me to be able to go out into the world and not be kind of swayed one way or the other. I would just say personally, because I never had to.
dig or search, it was always handed to me literally on a silver platter. That was like the extent of it. I mean, that's the best way to put it. Um, and so as we know, like that's not a tr- like a deep relationship, you know, it's surface level, it's knowledge, it's the beginning, but it wasn't past that. Or there was always this like guilt of, I mean, I can't tell you how many times I asked Jesus to be my savior growing up because it was like...
Hope Mangiafico (11:40)
Yeah.
Mary (12:08)
once saved always
saved, but then like, you know, sin, like why do I always sin if I'm saved? Like, why am I doing the same sins if I'm saved? You know, and it's just like all of those things. I think a lot of people who grow up in the Christian community honestly struggle with just because it's, again, you're not really searching for yourself. You're digging to find deeper truths because it's just there all the time. You're saturated. It becomes familiar. That's what it is. It's familiar. And I think that can be.
a not safe place sometimes when you're in a relationship. That's where things can really go south and and so everything was just familiar for me and I just didn't have to go too far to feel secure or safe in my relationship which but that at the same time always kind of had me questioning like why do I not want to live a certain way? Why am I not striving to have like this close relationship with God?
Hope Mangiafico (12:38)
Okay. Okay.
Okay. Okay.
Mary (13:08)
cause it's like, it's just there, you know? And so going into my twenties and everything, I was just very, I would, I would say that I was a lukewarm Christian for the first 30 years of my life. and very up and down, never really felt secure in my relationship with Christ, as I mentioned earlier, because it's always like, do good for a little while then like backslide, do good, backslide, do good, backslide. I'm totally missing like the point of.
wanting to conform and be like Christ. And ⁓ that, would say that has really been where my heart is like the last.
three or four years. And like I said, a lot of that is, you know, just hope your relationship watching you and like your background, who's completely different from mine watching you. And it was like, how does someone who didn't grow up in that have such a rich, deep relationship, but you, you just, it was different for you. Like you had to search, I think is probably how you've kind of described it. it just wasn't something that you grew up around, but yeah, that was kind of my background. It was just.
Hope Mangiafico (13:50)
Hmm. Hmm.
Mary (14:19)
24 seven if you will and which is good. Like I said, like it's a great thing. I, know, looking back, I want the same thing for my children too. Now do I want them to be passive in that relationship? No, I want them to understand that, you know, it's something that we do ⁓ not work for, but like, yeah, strive. It's like any relationship, both sides have to work on it. ⁓ But the passivity, I
Hope Mangiafico (14:41)
Yeah.
Mary (14:46)
think, was the biggest thing just kind of my whole life.
which led to like a very lukewarm relationship.
Hope Mangiafico (14:54)
So something that's coming to my mind as you're sharing that and I just think it's such a unique experience is that you just about three or four years ago through our interaction got that depth whereas previously it was like being handed on silver platter and when I think about school
and that kind of community, that is really your first exposure to community. And you're talking about, you know, four years old, all the way to 18, and even, I mean, part of college too, you could say, did you see, trying to of a way to ask the question, that was first exposure to community, how were the people around you in that community?
Mary (15:19)
Mm-hmm.
Hope Mangiafico (15:39)
You know, like, did you see that everyone around you was very similar to you where it was just passive and just, okay, we're safe, we're secure, we're good, like, just as we are? Yeah, that's probably the question I'm looking for is like, how was that as a community?
Mary (15:55)
Yeah, I would say that's largely the attitude. It's interesting. I would say most people, especially in my friend group, that's kind how we all were. We were all like, we checked all the boxes, we were the good kids, we didn't get in trouble, we didn't do all those things. And my friends from high school, they have great relationships with Christ today too.
everyone goes through their own journeys to get them there. ⁓ I would say too, like you have definitely a lot of rebellion in those types of circles because when you have that much authority essentially like over you all the time, people want an out for sure. So you know, there was that side of it with the rebellion and then you know, just people like faking it till they make it. ⁓
Hope Mangiafico (16:21)
Okay. Yeah.
Mary (16:43)
I would say like most everybody just thinking in my particular like school years was very, you know, like I said, they checked the boxes, Christian life and everything. And then I would say some like that you knew there was definitely like a level of judgment too, I think is like, you're not doing these things. Well, maybe, you know, maybe you need to get right with Jesus. And I'm not saying there's no truth in that. There's definitely truth in that. But, ⁓
just saying in a different way maybe, I don't know,
like through that it's so easy to just like go with the flow again like you just kind of blend in you know and it's like and again like there's that confliction too it's like you know the Bible says you're gonna you know stick out essentially as a Christian like people should know the difference between the world and you and I'm like well I don't feel very different like I'm not
Hope Mangiafico (17:20)
Mm.
Mary (17:36)
sticking out like a sore thumb over here. And that's conflicting too sometimes. It's not like that you're supposed to look like a clown or anything, but it's just easy to sink into the background and not be seen. And therefore you don't really have to go out of your way or do anything. And also just, I've always struggled sharing my testimony because when you're in the circles of everyone being a Christian, who are you supposed to share your testimony to? And it's like, that's one thing I've always kind of been.
Hope Mangiafico (17:40)
Yeah.
Mm. Mm.
Mary (18:04)
hesitant to do because it's like well it's the South, everyone's a Christian, everyone goes to church, everyone you know and so those are just some of like the kind of like the back-end struggles of growing up in that environment. Not bad things but just like no boldness
Hope Mangiafico (18:20)
That's
Mary (18:20)
because you don't have to be bold in an environment that everyone's doing the same.
Nikki Humphrey (18:27)
What I'm
Hope Mangiafico (18:27)
good.
Nikki Humphrey (18:29)
feeling as you're talking, Mary, and I just really love your story, because I can relate to it on a lot of levels, but it was, you you're saying your service level, you had a lot of knowledge, things are being handed to you on a platter. And when your life is the same and there really isn't any like struggles with that, with your faith for so many years, God can highlight somebody like hope and you can see the difference in them almost.
Hope Mangiafico (18:46)
Okay. Mm.
Mary (18:56)
Mm-hmm.
Nikki Humphrey (18:56)
immediately. And that's when the Holy Spirit can come and convict you. Like, whoa, there's something different about that person. what is it? Because I remember Hope and I, when Hope and I first met, we would see these women and we'd be like, they have the Jesus glow. Like, how do you get the Jesus glow? Like, we were just like, we knew that they
Mary (19:11)
Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (19:16)
Okay.
Nikki Humphrey (19:16)
were more mature, bolder Christian women, and they were just out there shining their light for God. And we were like, how do you do that? How do you get that? So
Mary (19:25)
Right.
Nikki Humphrey (19:26)
I could relate to that so much when you're in front of those people, we'd be so intimidated. We'd be like, oh, we're going to be around so and so today. Like maybe it'll rub off. It's not a rubbing off. It's God's correction and pruning and spending time with him.
Hope Mangiafico (19:29)
Okay.
Mary (19:41)
Good. Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (19:42)
And
everybody gets to develop, for lack of a better term, their own Jesus glow with him.
Mary (19:47)
Hahaha
Hope Mangiafico (19:49)
I love that. That's so true. I'm glad you shared that, Nikki. ⁓ Because yeah, it was just like, yeah, I almost felt like a little girl just like watching and like that's my role model. But you know, something I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on this, Nikki, is Mary talked about being intimidated by me.
Mary (19:50)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (19:57)
Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (20:09)
Mary has said that, another neighbor has said that, and then Kendra had said that. And I think that's really interesting, but then when you were just sharing what you saying about the people we were around that we had this like intimidation, and I'm wondering if I need help understanding what intimidation means in those, you know, because when I hear that about myself, I'm like, but God, I really want to be open and kind and loving. Like, why is everyone intimidated by me? So I would really like to hear your take, Nikki, on like,
even you using it in our story, how, and you too, Mary, like how you guys would actually define that, just because I think it's helpful.
Nikki Humphrey (20:45)
Yeah.
So as you were talking, as soon as you started saying intimidation, I got a spirit check. It wasn't exactly intimidation. It was fear. It was fear that I was going to be found out about my past and that I was going to be called a fraud. And I wasn't going be good enough. Like these ladies with the Jesus globe, they got like the pure Jesus globe. Like I didn't know their stories personally. So I just assumed that they were always walking on the right path and always did the right thing. And I'm just still.
stumbling and bumbling through life. And so not so much intimidated, but I was afraid that I would never be worthy to get the Jesus glow.
Mary (21:25)
Yeah. Yeah. Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (21:26)
That's kind what you were saying, Mary, too. The fraud being exposed kind of thing.
Mary (21:31)
Yeah, definitely. It was a conviction on my part. Like that's when the Holy Spirit started kind of pointing that out. Like, hey, not that like you were always opening. I always like enjoyed your presence, but there was like it was literally just the Holy Spirit like convicting me and I was very like uncomfortable and taken aback because I don't even think at that time that I realized that like looking back.
is how I realized that. So in that moment, it felt intimidating because I didn't understand that the spirit was convicting me at the moment until after the fact. But yeah, I like the fear I think is a better probably descriptor of instead of intimidating because you're definitely not intimidating person. No, you're like very sweet, bubbly, bright.
Hope Mangiafico (22:09)
Okay, yeah.
Well, someone else that
well, I know Nikki, actually, both of you guys are familiar, probably with my story when I was a tour guide and I had a very bad encounter with someone ⁓ as at that job. And she said, like, I walked around with like this, I was intimidating because it's like I have this like strong stance. And I was like, blah, blah, blah. And she was like, so you're just really I think she even said I was intimidating. I was like, I feel like I walk around like a little sheep, like terrified of everything. And so I really think by hearing
now, for people say that, it really, and it's comforting to me of like, it really is just, that is the Lord. And even though I don't feel that way about myself, because I am still human, I still feel very like impure and like, I don't want people to know, you know, all my junk all the time. Like, it's him. And it's that true illustration of like, he puts us around people and in communities to glorify him. It's all about him. And
That's what that is highlighting. It's about him. Period.
Mary (23:20)
Amen.
Hope Mangiafico (23:22)
And so that's just really cool. ⁓ Because it's like people describe me in ways that like I would never describe myself. like, well, because it's not you, Hope, that's why it doesn't add up in here. So it's just very interesting.
Mary (23:29)
Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (23:37)
Nikki, you had the Lord convict you of needing to go out in the community and Mary had said that she was in a bubble and was not able to be bold and share her testimony and it was almost like a similar yet different story that you had.
Nikki and it made me want to ask you like when you finally said, Lord, I hear you. Like I can't build community in my home. Like did you find going out not only had you have interaction with people, but did it make you more bold and you know, share like, did you find yourself sharing your testimony?
Nikki Humphrey (24:08)
Yes. It's just like, I didn't go out saying like, I'm going to share my testimony today because it is, it's not fun to share your testimony because there's a lot of yuck and hurt and there's good qualities too, like conviction, redemption, grace, love, like all of that. And, you know, we said before that we share different parts of our story, depending on who's in front of us. But I do find out that when I go and I, in the community and I am bold,
that it just happens naturally. And it's cool how God just puts people in your path that you share it with. And we don't know like what impact it's going to have, but it planted a seed somewhere. So maybe it's for them, maybe it's for somebody else, maybe it's going to be watered now, maybe it's going to be watered later. ⁓ But as you were talking, Mary, you you were saying you're in the bubble and the church and all the people.
In the past, I found the most hurt people at church who could have benefited from a testimony. It's like we go to church though, we try to put on like our best outfit and like look all good. But sometimes there's enough brokenness there too where your testimony could be really impactful.
Mary (25:15)
Thank
yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (25:27)
Yeah, that's very, very true. And Mary, when did you start going to the church you're at now? Like, where did that fall into your journey?
Mary (25:40)
2011, I had just come back from my first year of college that I went away to, came back, did not go back to the church that I had been in my whole life. And I've been there ever since. we, just, I remember coming back, so I came back from college, so it was 18 when I started actually encountering some real life stuff that God was like, okay.
we're gonna work through this. Now you can be more, and some of it's like you were saying, Nikki, it's just being relatable to people, having, going through situations where you can connect with them. And like you said, it's not necessarily like going around saying, Jesus saved me. Here's the gospel story. Like it's just making a connection with them about what you guys have been through and then
Hope Mangiafico (26:08)
Okay.
Mary (26:26)
connecting that to God and His glory and how amazing He is and how He can do things. And so it was, I was 18 when I
first started encountering some of those situations. So I actually, I'll just share a little bit. When I was off at college my first year, I ended up with an eating disorder, really bad depression, all these things. And a lot of it was moving away from the community that I had been in my whole life into a completely new area. People I didn't know, I wasn't connected at all really with people. had a couple, I had one roommate. There was a good little group of friends that I think kept me grounded for the most part, but really started like.
I got pushed out of the nest essentially, I mean for real. And all of a sudden I was like, wow, there's so much more going on than what I've experienced for the first 18 years of life. And I remember coming home, going to the church that we're at now and
Hope Mangiafico (27:18)
So,
Mary (27:19)
I was sitting there in a group of probably well over a thousand people and I'm going, I've never met this pastor before and I feel like he's speaking directly to me. Like, am I the only one sitting in this room right now? Because he is hitting every major point.
Hope Mangiafico (27:22)
you
Mary (27:32)
that I am like struggling with right now. And I just remember, it's probably the
Hope Mangiafico (27:35)
you
Mary (27:37)
first time that I've clearly heard the Holy Spirit say, this is where you need to be, this is what you need to do. Cause that's something I always struggle to.
And it's where we're still at until I hear otherwise. yeah, so we've been with North Hills for, gosh, now that was 2011, it's 25, so 14 years.
Hope Mangiafico (27:54)
Yeah.
Mary (27:56)
⁓ and
you know, what's crazy is that we've, I started going and then when Ken and I started dating, he started coming with me. We joined together. I think we were still dating when we joined as members to the church. ⁓ I was plugged in with youth group, so I had done some things to plug into the church. I, especially after that first year, ⁓ was working with some of like our outreach ministries was in youth group for a little while. And then, ⁓
Hope Mangiafico (28:08)
you you
Mary (28:23)
for a few years. So we knew some people within the church, but we've never been like, I would say super plugged in. Like we're not in a small group or anything like that, but it's incredible what God can still do regardless of like, I would say the
effort you put in, like he can, doesn't matter, you know? And not saying that we don't need to put effort in, but it is a nice reminder that like, God is more, he's gonna do what he's gonna do. He's gonna move how he's gonna move.
Hope Mangiafico (28:37)
Okay.
Mary (28:51)
regardless of how you're responding to him. you know, because years down the road later, my husband and I got into a situation of infidelity and the church was one of the very first places we went to.
The first one we went to is actually our small group within the neighborhood. Like when I say this neighborhood has had such an impact on our life, I mean, in the biggest ways possible. Like in the beginning I said, you know, God was laying the foundation for why we were here.
Hope Mangiafico (29:21)
Okay.
Mary (29:23)
well before I knew it, you know, it was just so incredible watching him like carry us through in the form of a community. It really has been incredible. Sorry, like tears me up every time. ⁓
And so we, when it all came out, when I found out about my husband's betrayal, the first people we actually went to were Hope, Sean and another couple in the neighborhood.
And if we didn't have that small community at that time, I really don't know where our marriage would be. I'm not saying that God couldn't use another way to save it, but that is how God, that's what God used to save our marriage. And then because we had been plugged into church, even though we weren't like super involved in the church, we were there and they had a counseling center that we had easy access to. We were able to get in on that. And then we were able to get plugged into ⁓ some marital counseling and then we were able to get plugged into.
a six month long ⁓ journey called reengage and all of those little things that God put us in for the bigger picture. I mean, quite honestly of saving our marriage ⁓ is why a community is so important to me and has become so important. I really don't, like I said, there's got, you can't put anything past God. He can use anything in any situation, but you cannot discredit or discount.
the importance of community. think it's huge.
Hope Mangiafico (30:52)
You so effortlessly went into church, into the challenge in your life because that was something that I wanted to ask you. was like,
not only did I get to watch you have impact, or excuse me, be impacted by church community, but also by God's orchestration of our neighborhood community. it's, there's so many little details in your story, Mary, of coming into this neighborhood and how it unfolded that I feel like you could probably speak for hours on it. Because even from me being an outsider, that little small group that we hosted in this room most of the time,
was pretty short lived. In the grand scheme of life, like life was happening, know, your daughter was pretty young and she started like, you know, really moving around like, well, we can't be at our house anymore, that's for sure. And just like, it wasn't very long and God is so amazing that it was organized in that time where we were meeting every Sunday evening anyways. And it was an organic opportunity to be like,
Mary (31:33)
It was,
I know.
Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (32:00)
Okay, now it's on, you know, speaking on your behalf and Ken's, it's on you guys to just open your mouths in this safe place. ⁓ And that's incredible because, you know, God had put it on my heart for a long time wanting to have people in our home just reading scripture. And I still don't really know how that unfolded for, you know, us and Emily and Justin, but it did. And so much happened in such a short period of time.
Mary (32:08)
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (32:29)
by just saying yes to coming together here and then seeing what it did for you guys too.
incredible.
Mary (32:41)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I remember that summer. think it started with you and Emily and Justin, you guys, just the four of y'all. And then I think, I don't know if Emily mentioned it to us. And I was like, yeah, we need to. And then you get plugged in. And then it was during that time, like it was, it was super short lived. long? A year, I think. Yeah, I think it started.
Hope Mangiafico (32:49)
Yeah, that's right.
Was it a whole year? Maybe it was.
Mary (33:03)
in August is when we kind of joined in and then the following May was when everything unfolded with my marriage and then we kept going through that summer until we had to get plugged in at church with re-engage. But so it's been a year. But I remember very shortly, that's when I started, you know, I think about that, about that too. Like it was that small group that God used to really like challenge some of my thinking on things. That's why I started kind of coming to you about some like.
Hope Mangiafico (33:09)
Okay.
You
Mary (33:31)
just questioning some things that I never questioned
ever in my life. Simple things like Halloween, like never questioned Halloween my entire life. It was just something we did. And then I was like, just stopped one day and Holy Spirit was like, you should ask Hope about Halloween. And I was like, okay. And you know, that just, that simple conversation ⁓ just let me down a huge hole of just like, what is this life? You know, like there really is darkness.
God's kingdom and not God's kingdom, like it does boil down to those two things. And so God restructuring my mindset with that group was again, paving the way for what he knew I was going to encounter nine months later, which was I was going to have to restructure the way I viewed forgiveness, the way I viewed relationships, the way I viewed myself, the way I viewed myself in Christ, like
Hope Mangiafico (34:00)
Yes. Yes.
Mary (34:24)
all these things that would have absolutely broke me a year prior.
Hope Mangiafico (34:27)
Mm.
Mary (34:30)
I was able to gracefully with God get through those things. ⁓ All because nine months previously, he put us in a group with people that we could trust, where we could question the Bible, where we could get to know him on a deeper level. ⁓ And I would say that, yeah, that group definitely laid the foundation for me to
be able to go through that situation and handle it the way that I handled it because it was supernatural.
to honest, like who I know who I am, deep down who I want to be in my natural state is a very spiteful, angry person. And the fact that I was able to kind of get through that and not be that way all the time, like actually be able to forgive, ⁓ look at Ken through the eyes of Christ, which was
Hope Mangiafico (35:02)
Yeah.
Mary (35:22)
so hard in that situation to look at them anything other than what they did. ⁓
Hope Mangiafico (35:25)
Okay.
Mary (35:29)
Yeah, I mean, that all it really does. It all goes back to the nine months previous with our small group and just having that small area. then, yeah, being able to have those when that comes through, because there's so much shame in a situation like that. And. You
know, I think about accountability, like I think sometimes in the Christian church in the world, like we just accountability can have a negative connotation.
because there is a shame associated with that, but just being able to have a group of people that literally are, like to me accountability is just coming alongside and uplifting them. However, we need to uplift each other. Like that's keeping each other accountable in Christ. There was no shame in any of that. And I know Ken needed to
Hope Mangiafico (35:57)
Okay.
Mary (36:16)
have that. Like he needed to know that he could move forward.
fully okay not being judged whatsoever for what he did and to have that group. Yeah, I mean, there's not enough I could say about it to be honest.
Hope Mangiafico (36:35)
I didn't realize it was nine months. That's also really significant. Just like a significant number. ⁓
Mary (36:39)
Yeah. Right.
Hope Mangiafico (36:42)
That's incredible. And you were so grace-filled. I mean, I watched you and it didn't make it easy, but your heart towards Ken was so beautiful to watch. you were just talking about shame. And I remember having a conversation with you and you were the one telling Ken that he didn't need to carry the shame. And that is so beautiful.
and such a good demonstration of the love of God and the depths in which God wants all marriages to be like and to your point too what you were saying of like it was so hard to not see him for what he did and I guess I'm saying all this because I don't know Mary if you know how incredibly impactful
your choices were and your permission by the Lord to be used by Him. ⁓ It was felt on a lot of levels from many people around you, even though the whole world didn't know y'all's story. But for the people that did, or be it from church or us in the neighborhood, it had a ripple effect and it was beautiful.
And I hope you just always remember that and yet like glory goes to God but like your yes to him was so big.
Mary (38:21)
Yeah, that was, again, like I, he restructured my whole thinking of everything I ever grew up knowing. And I remember being like in the wake of all that going, you know, I have a right to divorce him biblically, but then even Christ doesn't always want that. Like, just because I have the right doesn't mean I should. And I truly felt that in the moment.
Hope Mangiafico (38:26)
Yeah.
Mary (38:47)
and married two years ago would have not married two years ago would have walked away but I remember very distinctly sitting on the couch within 24 hours and everything coming out and saying God is our Satan has already just tried to destroy this like this is God's covenant that we're talking about Satan has already done everything he can to destroy and I was like I don't want Satan to win another battle like this belongs to Jesus and that
is not something that I ever really like. That's just not how I'd ever lived out my Christian life before. that kind of, again, that's just kind of been, again, the foundation stone for living out the rest of going forward, going in on a deeper level like that of just understanding that simplicity of life of what God means for or what Satan has meant for.
Hope Mangiafico (39:22)
Mm.
Mary (39:42)
evil God means for good and realizing that sometimes that really is just the human like this life that we are living is a matter of serving this master or that master. In that moment, I was like, we have to draw a line on the sand like, and I wasn't talking for Ken, I was talking more for myself because I knew it like, I knew also too that it does take two, I didn't know where Ken's heart totally wasn't at that moment, but I had to decide for myself.
I'm going to move forward and this is going to be God's battle and like however he wants this to lay out, play out, it's going to play out. And that right there just like completely reshaped my Christian faith really using, again, he just, all glory to God. Like he can use anything, anything.
Hope Mangiafico (40:33)
Wow, that's so good. It's so good. just you, I mean, you listen to Nikki and I talk. mean, obviously, Nikki and I really believe in the powers of darkness and like spiritual warfare. And I think we have a different story of just having revelational mass sooner because both Nikki and I had a very challenging upbringing. ⁓ But like,
It's so empowering to understand that and that's where you know that you were saying you didn't have that growing up like if more people that call themselves followers of Christ understood that it makes it slightly easier if from what I'm hearing you say too to stand on a firm foundation and be like no like not today Satan it's not
not today can or am I letting your choices control me but it's like no Satan like you're done dude and that is just I don't know like it's very empowering when you finally allow yourself to see that truth and it's all in scripture like the enemy is in the Old Testament, New Testament, he's all over it but for whatever reason it's not as consistently taught um which is disheartening because it really does
Mary (41:40)
Right?
It's not though.
Hope Mangiafico (41:50)
give you empowerment to be a vessel for the Lord to impact your marriage, your friendships, the world, your neighborhood. ⁓ You know, like, I don't know, it's incredible to see that that was a big part of your moving forward to his God by his amazing character expose you to that and the concept of darkness, whether it was, you know, coming to me about Halloween and then behold, I had a PDF on it, right?
Mary (41:59)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (42:21)
You know, and you just having that like deeper understanding and then you get hit and you're like, nah dude, not today.
Mary (42:28)
Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, and that's that to put it simply having that conversation about Halloween and coming to a very black and white picture of life and everything that goes on, whether it's the kingdom of darkness or serving God, I was able nine months later to have that distinction instead of taking that situation incredibly personally and saying, what's wrong with me? Not that I didn't ask those questions. I did 100 percent, but I was able to move past it and go, no, this is a force of
Hope Mangiafico (42:42)
Yeah. you
Mary (42:58)
darkness I'm dealing with and I was able to pray in a way that I never would have prayed before. I mean, I was like praying for my husband. I was telling Satan, will get out of this house. You will get out of this marriage. You will stop. Like I've never spoken with authority before, but because I was able to like actually say this isn't just some human mistake. This isn't just a personal vendetta against Mary. Like this is, this is a force of dark.
and Christ is going to overcome this. And I think if Christians in general, like you said, I didn't grow up with that mindset. Like I was never taught that growing up all those years in the church. And I don't know if it's a fear of teaching it because they don't want to give too much credit to Satan. I don't know, but like how are we supposed to have any power over him if we don't know what we're up against? Like, yes, I've heard, I've gotten sermons on wearing the.
Hope Mangiafico (43:51)
Okay.
Mary (43:56)
armor of Christ, but what does that mean if you're not actually fighting? You are fighting him. That's the thing. Like, but like
Nikki Humphrey (43:59)
Thanks.
Hope Mangiafico (44:01)
Okay.
Mary (44:03)
if we're being taught, put on armor of Christ, but like, Satan's just this little guy over here. Don't worry about it. It's like, well, why do I need to this armor if it's not a big deal? You know? And so being able to finally like, there is, there is power within Christ. If you know what power you're up against, because this is obviously so much more, we know the end. Like we know.
Satan is taken care of but he is the prince in power of this world and we have to treat it accordingly.
Hope Mangiafico (44:34)
So good. ⁓
Wow, I love hearing all of that.
Nikki Humphrey (44:40)
Yes. And it's just listening to your story, Mary, it's
like, doesn't God set us up for success every time, but we have to say those little yeses along the way. Like you got invited to the small group, you could have said no, that was a choice that you could have made. You you could have not been plugged in. You could have not been more open to seeing a bigger picture of God.
Hope Mangiafico (44:54)
you Okay.
Nikki Humphrey (45:09)
how to navigate all that and look at your heart and being led by the Holy Spirit. It's like all of that, like God was preparing you for this moment when you were gonna face a challenge in your life
Hope Mangiafico (45:22)
Okay.
Nikki Humphrey (45:22)
and your marriage. And he's just like, I got you. It's like this warm hug, know, the supernatural feeling that comes over you that like, I'm not alone.
Mary (45:26)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (45:34)
The thing is still hard. It's still really, really hard. And like you said, you still had to process that and you still were things were coming up, but you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are going to face this enemy. You are going to kick them out of every sphere atmosphere.
Hope Mangiafico (45:50)
you
Nikki Humphrey (45:52)
be your home in your life. But then that's when the community comes in and helps you navigate all of that.
Mary (46:00)
Yep, that was it.
Hope Mangiafico (46:02)
So good. Well, those are my man. You like it was so beautiful just how you were sharing your story and it like hit on everything that I was just thinking of even asking. Nikki, do you have any thing that comes to mind to to ask Mary for any additional thoughts or insight is such a rich testimony of.
of God and of community and all the different forms of community which is just so incredibly cool.
Nikki Humphrey (46:35)
Yeah, what's coming to mind is just, Mary, you're just such a light to others and such an encourager. your story is gonna help so many people navigate when tough things go around. When things pop up, it doesn't have to be just with the marriage, but just knowing the steps you took, the radical accountability you took on your part, your change of heart, your change of...
Mary (46:56)
Right.
Nikki Humphrey (47:05)
perspective, all of that is a testimony to help others go from where you were to where you are now. It's going to help be a roadmap for them to do the same thing in their life.
Hope Mangiafico (47:21)
Yeah, absolutely. And share with people, obviously through testimony, your testimony, but
What's coming to mind to edify further what Nikki was saying is like.
people like, you know, lists and things to do, right? But it was like, you had core things that were impactful. So like, yes, your specific church was great. But if someone comes to you and they're in need, you're like, you need to get X, Y, and Z. Like, this is not debatable. You need at least one Christian friend that you can know will direct you the right path. And then you need a bigger community that at least has resources that can direct you further.
Mary (47:55)
Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (48:05)
You know, and then you need your personal relationship where you are, I picture, gosh, Mary, what's coming to mind is like, I bought a candle for our small group and ended up giving you that candle and it was called Holy Ground and what's the third thing I'm thinking of, of you sharing your testimony with other people, is like you are on your knees talking with the father, chatting with him all the time and.
and crying out simultaneously while also using your authority against the enemy because it is holy ground. And the moment you get on your knees and you're like, God, I can't do this. This is all you show me how this works. Plus you have trusted friends. Plus you have something that has more resources. We don't know what the future holds for every person that will have a similar story to yours, but we absolutely know what were your ingredients for success.
Mary (49:02)
Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (49:02)
and you get to share that.
Mary (49:05)
Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (49:06)
and God will show up every time for every single person that you encounter and you share those ingredients with those people.
Mary (49:16)
I will say this has crossed my mind a lot lately. think because I've seen we're seeing it in our culture ⁓ where church specifically can kind of be whatever you want it to be. It's like, how you connect with God, you know, if it's out on this place that you love or whatever. And I'm reading through the Old Testament and like God is so specific and how he wants to be worshiped and how we connect and how we relate. But.
isolation like the devil will do his best work when you're isolated you can't i'm not saying it's impossible but there's a reason god established the church i believe and it is because we as like when one member suffers the body suffers when you know again that accountability that coming together that is how you as collectively as a body of christ defeat him you cannot i'm not saying you can't it's not impossible
Hope Mangiafico (49:46)
Hmm. Thank you.
Mary (50:13)
but incredibly difficult to do it on your own. So this idea that we can just like us going in one-on-one time with God is absolutely necessary and beautiful. But when you don't have the people around you, like how are they to know first off, how are they to intercede for you, pray for you? Those are huge things, but it is kind of scary. We're seeing like this movement of isolation within our society, all about self, grounding in ourself,
Hope Mangiafico (50:16)
you You
Okay.
Mary (50:41)
whatever. And it's just,
And being, you know, back to when I was 18 and very depressed, I wanted to be by myself in the days where I was alone were the worst days because Satan absolutely took hold of my mind. Like, and there was no one there to pull me up out of it. Um, and so just encouraging anyone out there who doesn't want to get engaged in a church. Absolutely. Just at least be present there. Let
Hope Mangiafico (50:45)
you
Mary (51:11)
I
mean, I just believe in the presence of other believers helping, the prayers of other believers helping. ⁓ I think it can be scary for people who, I mean, I understand there's a world of church hurt out there, but finding, not just saying that didn't work, I'm not gonna do that, but finding, taking the time to find the one God wants you to be. I mean, he'll make it abundantly clear, but isolation, I don't think is ever the answer to trying to defeat the devil. Like, it's just not gonna work.
Hope Mangiafico (51:24)
Okay. Okay.
Mary (51:40)
that you have to be grounded with some form of community. The Bible says, where two or three are gathered in my name, you know, and.
Yeah, that's just kind of my final thought. I think with our conversation on community is don't be deceived that isolation is okay.
Hope Mangiafico (52:03)
That's a great final thought. I know Nikki's like, yeah, girl, go.
Nikki Humphrey (52:05)
That'll do it. I love that.
Hope Mangiafico (52:09)
that's so good. You yeah, gosh, that'll do it. That was so wonderful. I have so much like joy in my heart right now having the two of you guys on here and just I hope one day you guys get to meet someday, hopefully very soon because both of you guys have blessed me so abundantly. And I know Mary having you on today on a clip fellowship with Nikki and I is something that's going to bless listeners. ⁓ And I feel like
Mary (52:24)
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (52:39)
I don't know why this is the statement that's about to come out of my mouth, but like, for years to come. I don't even know what the future of this podcast is, but this episode will live for years to come. I feel that like this today is gonna bless others for years to come. So I'm excited for that. our pleasure and.
Mary (53:00)
me. It was great. I feel encouraged
and ready to go.
Hope Mangiafico (53:05)
Good! That's the Lord, right?
That's the Holy Spirit fireworks and all. He shows up in great ways. So thank you for everyone that's listening and until next time, be blessed.
Mary (53:10)
Yeah.
