Nikki Humphrey (00:00)
Hi, I'm Nikki.
Hope Mangiafico (00:01)
Hi, I'm Hope. Welcome to Equipped Fellowship, where friends become family through Christ. We're two Jesus-loving friends on a mission to share personal stories, resources, and real talk about our triumphs, breakthroughs, struggles, and setbacks. Why? Because we believe you are called to live victoriously, and we're here to equip you with Holy Spirit-led tools and strategies to strengthen your faith, transform your mindset, and walk boldly in God's promises, because here's the truth.
You have been given great and precious promises by God. So grab your coffee, lean in, and let's grow together. It's time to step into everything God has for you.
Nikki Humphrey (00:41)
Yes, and we're stepping into everything God has for us because today we are talking about asking God to use us, praying to Him, asking Him what's next, saying, here I am Lord, use me. And He uses you, He calls you, and you don't feel equipped for the challenge. That's what we're diving into today.
Hope Mangiafico (01:06)
Right, absolutely. I'm looking forward to seeing how it unfolds and I don't know. I know. I'm just really excited. ⁓
Nikki Humphrey (01:15)
I am too because I'm actually living it out right now in real time. So just radical honesty, last Monday I was at church and I was journaling and I was like, God, here I am. Just like I said in the intro, use me. I will go where you want me to go. And lo and behold, I got a call Friday night for a short-term job offer, but...
Hope Mangiafico (01:20)
Mm-hmm.
Nikki Humphrey (01:44)
Honestly, I didn't run a go. I didn't feel equipped. I still don't feel equipped four days in. I don't know what my purpose is, where I'm at. It's all feeling strange and hard and unnerving. And there's a lot of questions, but I know God
Hope Mangiafico (01:46)
you
Nikki Humphrey (02:05)
called me here and I'm trying to figure it out.
Hope Mangiafico (02:09)
Yeah, absolutely. I feel that. And it's funny, like, I was eager to hear kind of how you landed on this topic today because when you told me what you felt like was on your heart, I'm like, that sounds great. I took to the father. He literally spelled out to me like,
seven steps of the journey of obedience in that process. And it was so similar to that cycle that you're talking about or being in that journey, I should say, because at the end of the day, it's going to have a different face for all of us, but we all find ourselves in that place.
Nikki Humphrey (02:49)
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (02:50)
So that's why I was looking at my notes the whole time, because while you're telling your story, I'm like, ⁓ there's part one, or step one of the journey. ⁓ Two, ⁓ three, ⁓ four, she just said it. It's really funny. So I can't wait to share that as we go along.
Nikki Humphrey (03:06)
Yeah, and it's interesting because we want these things. We want the Lord to use us. We want Him to put us in places where we can apply what we've been doing on our spiritual journey. But then we get the call and we're like, ⁓ man, like right now, Lord, like now, now? And He's like, yes, ma'am. And the only thing that's been helping me
Hope Mangiafico (03:19)
Right.
Nikki Humphrey (03:34)
survive these last four days. I'm not thriving yet, but I'm surviving because I partner with the Lord every day before I go to work and just be like, Lord, your will be done, not mine. Let
Hope Mangiafico (03:44)
Mm hmm. Mm hmm.
Nikki Humphrey (03:49)
them see you in me, Lord, not them see me. know, it's just that's and taking it one step at a time because hope you and I know we can go off on the curly cues.
Hope Mangiafico (04:01)
I.
Okay.
Nikki Humphrey (04:03)
and make a complicated situation more complicated. And it's been so hard for me to stay present and obedient these last four days and just take it one tiny baby step at a time. Because
Hope Mangiafico (04:18)
You know, yeah. Well,
Nikki Humphrey (04:19)
you know, girl, I don't operate that way.
Hope Mangiafico (04:22)
me neither. And you know, I honestly think that this past year in general, a lot of different people that I've had conversations with are starting to get a better understanding of taking it one step at a time. It's like the Lord all at once is like, here's a floodgate of this lesson for the entire body. Again, with different faces. And I was literally meeting with
Talked about my Biblical counselor, just met her for fun yesterday and she said it like three or four times because we were just talking and you know, I'm like, yeah, clearly this is very much a theme for all of our lives right now. Like, you know, and she's, she's in her upper seventies, you know, and we're like all these little stepping stones having all the same experiences with the father and, I'm walking it out in a completely different way, which is so funny of like,
I knew that God called me to start something. I started. I gained a little momentum. And I'm like, yeah, I heard God doing good. And then bam, slapped in the face. You're like, well, crap. Am I all?
Nikki Humphrey (05:28)
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (05:29)
And that's where I'm at right now. The past like almost 48 hours, I've not been thriving. ⁓ And God's had to rebuild me up and remind me, as we often talk about, of his character, who he is. ⁓ And wouldn't you know it, I know your life has been, with the new job stuff, has been like really like busy fool and kind of like, woo, how do I get my footing?
But I thought it was so cool that I was reading in our Bible, It's where the donkey talks. But, he, it's either Balem or Bakal, it's one of the B names. But anyhow, he...
kept saying like if God said it, like I'm not changing it basically and I thought it was a really cool theme that the Lord spoke to me while I'm walking the same journey like you're talking about out and he's like God doesn't lie. This is what he said. I'm not going against it and I just thought it was such great timing in alignment with this topic.
Nikki Humphrey (06:30)
Yes, I haven't gotten to that part yet because I am way behind on my
Hope Mangiafico (06:35)
Yeah,
it happens in this reading plan and when life shifts.
Nikki Humphrey (06:41)
But it is so true. You have to stand on God's promises. You have to because doubt creeps in so quickly. Instead of just like, can do it. I'm partnering with God. Let's go.
Hope Mangiafico (06:45)
Yeah.
I cannot wait
for you to read it. It's in the book of Numbers. It's somewhere between chapter 21 and 25. I think it's somewhere in there. But you're going to think it's so crazy because in that process, God told him not to do something. He still did it. And then God still interfered to prevent. And even though he moved forward in disobedience,
Nikki Humphrey (07:11)
Bye.
Hope Mangiafico (07:20)
when he was finally like, ⁓ okay, I see, I was a bozo, made a mistake. ⁓ He was unshakable on like, this is God, this is God, this is God, this is who God is. And it was no longer like, I just do what I wanna do. It's like, no, this is based on God. So I'm really excited for you to read that story. And I was just on a walk with a friend earlier, completely sidetracked, but we were talking about something, I ran into her while I was walking my dog. And I was like, my gosh, have you ever heard of the story of the talking donkey and the...
Bible because a lot of people are familiar with the story but don't actually know the story. And I was telling her about it while walking. I just think it's the coolest thing.
Nikki Humphrey (07:59)
That is so cool because now that you say that, people have referenced that a lot to me, but I have never read it with my own two eyes yet.
Hope Mangiafico (08:02)
Yes!
Exactly!
I can't wait! Okay, I know it's a bit of a sidetrack, but at the same time, it's actually very relevant and I need to do a quick Google just so the listeners are like knowing where to find the story though. Of course, the Google search will show you very quickly where it is. But it's so in line with like, you handle what God's called you to do? Because God was truly empowering him, protecting him, ⁓ having him speak things that the person didn't want him to speak.
You know? So anyways, it's like I'm telling a good movie and I'm like ruining the ending kind of thing. That's how I feel.
You know you reach a new level of your walk with Jesus when you feel like you're ruining a good movie when you're talking about the Bible.
Nikki Humphrey (08:54)
was just thinking the same thing. Like I am so excited to go read this now. Like seeing a favorite movie or a show or something and you're just like, I'm like, don't go, don't.
Hope Mangiafico (09:00)
⁓ you
But man, and it's, that's so often the case there where we can recite something from scripture and not know the context. So let that be a lesson for whoever's listening to that, you hear things quoted but we never really know what it actually is referring to. Is that a miracle that a donkey talks? Yeah. But there's more. Anyway, okay. Anyways, back on topic. ⁓ and that actually, like, I told you that I felt like the Lord gave me
the like formal title of the seven steps is like the journey of obedience and then like the sub title if you will is like there's different levels of believing and accepting it and the levels of believing and accepting puts you in this little cycle and as you just go from step one to step seven back at step one and you're revisiting it because you're getting it deeper
in your belief system and your acceptance, whether it's based on whatever, God says about you or who His character is. And so that's the cycle. Is it okay if I just start sharing some of the steps and maybe? Okay.
Nikki Humphrey (10:15)
Yeah, please, because I'm excited.
Because I made notes too, so I'm wondering how they line up. Yeah, yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (10:22)
Yeah, okay.
So the first part of the journey, number one, is we answer. Either optimistically or hesitantly, we're saying yes to the calling, yet having no clue of how he's gonna do it.
So we answer. Which you even talked about in your part. You're like, well, I didn't really want to do it. So you're a little hesitant, but you still said.
Nikki Humphrey (10:47)
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (10:48)
So that's one. first we answer, second we seek. And so we go to seeking him and gaining clarity on the details. You know, and I don't know, again, while you're walking out your current journey, if you have anything to share with that, I know I have like different pieces of my own journey about that, but it is like you said, the way you've made it through so far is in the mornings.
I guess that you did answer that question kind of already. In the mornings, you wake up, you start with...
Nikki Humphrey (11:19)
Yes. And even during my job during the day, because I see multiple people at different times of day in groups of people. And I have to seek clarity before each group of people, because each group, I'm going to need to serve differently. Each group, God highlights one or two people to me. Like, hey, keep your eyes on that one. Hey, just let them be on your radar.
Hope Mangiafico (11:32)
Right.
Nikki Humphrey (11:48)
I don't know what I'm supposed to do yet, but I have to take it one step at a time because when I go off into my own worldly thoughts about the people he's pointing out or things, it becomes too much. And that's how I know I'm
Hope Mangiafico (11:50)
Yeah. Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (12:04)
out of God's alignment and I'm on my own free will because it feels stressful, overwhelming, like I can't do it. Maybe I should just quit mentality, but I'm covered.
Hope Mangiafico (12:07)
That's
yes.
Nikki Humphrey (12:20)
And I don't feel that when I'm just doing one thing at a time.
Hope Mangiafico (12:23)
Yes, that is the truth. And that's where we were talking about the step by step part too, because yeah, we completely bypass that when we run and sprint. And that sense of overwhelm, I am learning and I'm getting more sensitive to realizing like, hope, that means stop.
Nikki Humphrey (12:43)
Yes. Yeah. Yes! That means I'm not gonna sleep! Just go! Get it done.
Hope Mangiafico (12:44)
I used to say, that means go harder.
And I'm so grateful to see like, wow, I have grown a little because I really do stop. I stop with a little bit of anger because I'm, for second I'm upset that I can't handle it. ⁓ but I'm so glad I now translate that to stop. He's got me. My father has me. Now let's redirect, Lord. that overwhelm. I have, I don't think we've really talked about this
Nikki Humphrey (13:04)
Yeah.
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (13:22)
on an episode before, at least not in great detail, but like, Overwhelm was home for me.
Nikki Humphrey (13:29)
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (13:30)
for so long that it still is, can be, it can feel uncomfortable and irresponsible if I don't feel it. And I just feel like I'm supposed to share that because it's, that's been a big journey hurdle for me.
Nikki Humphrey (13:45)
I felt that because I was processing this the other day because this is a new place I'm at and new people and eyes are on me because I'm the new woman at the place. And that striving component came in and I was just like, if I don't work, if I don't figure this all out today, then someone's gonna say I'm doing a bad job.
Hope Mangiafico (14:10)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (14:11)
And I had to just be like, wait a minute, that doesn't make sense. Because I just got this position. People know I don't know about this position. So yeah, I'm not going to do everything right. And they can judge me if they want, but I'm here to learn and to be open and to do my job well and to follow God's calling. So does that really matter in the long run? No. But that was new for me.
Hope Mangiafico (14:15)
Yeah. Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (14:40)
changing perspective and being okay. Like I might fall on my face, but it's going to be okay.
Hope Mangiafico (14:42)
Yes!
you handle your new better than I did because I can still like physically feel the new when I entered that and I'm like, I did it. But like, I'm almost scared to move because I can't believe this is so unfamiliar. ⁓ To where I still had to like slowly still move out of that like needing to even push through the positive feeling.
Anyways, yeah, I can feel that. I can relate to that a lot, which, you know, that's what's interesting. like step one was you answer. Step two is you seek him. Step three is you start to build, which is kind of like you going to school, starting to do things. And then step four is when you're like starting to question and you're like, well, progress is not what I had imagined. So whether it's like you using your example where it's like,
my gosh, if I don't figure this out, I'm not gonna be at this level where everyone is gonna be like, wow, Nikki's the new woman doing great. So you're like crap, progress isn't what I imagined. So then you start questioning everything about your abilities and going back to your ability to hear God. Because you're like, well, I know that in the beginning I felt really confident that I said, use me Lord, and he opened this door, but here I am.
End the process, now on step four, questioning everything. Did I actually hear him? Because why am I drowning right now?
I ask me how I can share these steps so well.
Nikki Humphrey (16:20)
They're very relatable and timely.
Hope Mangiafico (16:24)
Super fresh, yeah. Super fresh.
Nikki Humphrey (16:26)
Yeah.
It reminded me, Hope, when I told you about this position and you're like, just a couple days ago, I did one day at this place where I'm at. And I was like, I don't think they're going to call me back. Like, just think might not have been a good fit. And then lo and behold, they call me for a short term position.
Hope Mangiafico (16:36)
gosh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, not even like coming back for one day. It's like nope. You're coming back for a while But that also again reminds you of of God's character that and honestly I've never really liked when people would be like, you know what God has for you No one can remove and take and I just I don't know I didn't like the presentation of it. But now that I'm getting stronger my
Lord, I'm understanding that the heart behind that is it wasn't dependent on Nikki's performance. Just like you trying to get everything finished and understood so quickly. It wasn't dependent on you. The door wasn't open because of you. Did you need to obey and have a relationship with him? Yes, you do. But the moment we think it's dependent on our performance, we've completely missed the whole message, the whole point of God.
Nikki Humphrey (17:45)
Yeah, that reminds me of Moses when God asked him to speak and he thought it was so dependent on his performance and his ability to speak.
Hope Mangiafico (17:48)
Mm.
Yeah.
That story always resonates with me because I think I speak so poorly and I'm always, I bring that top of mind all the time.
Nikki Humphrey (18:02)
And I'm just like, God uses everybody. Regardless.
Hope Mangiafico (18:05)
When you know it's,
yeah, and when we're talking about use and being confident and like hearing him but maybe not feeling equipped, I started thinking from our Bible readings and we've now we're like getting close, we're like way past the halfway mark now, you know, like we're like, okay, we've done some reading. I can't tell you where clearly a lot of stuff is, but it's up here now in like a memory bank. I was like, God.
Is there any example in the Bible of someone mishearing you? So like after brief research, I realized that I don't think now people can absolutely comment and correct me on this, but that there's anywhere in the Bible where someone misheard God. It was simply that they were impatient or disobedient that caused a different outcome. It wasn't that they misheard him. And I thought that was
Nikki Humphrey (18:54)
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (18:58)
It was all because of disobedience and being impatient, which we've already talked about in this conversation that we like to just run.
So we, I don't know why we tend to question so often his voice when every person, you talk about the Old Testament especially, they heard God. And we really don't know what that looked like. You you have some images of it. What do we know? We weren't there. So what makes it any different today when we feel like we know our heavenly father so intimately? Why do we question?
Nikki Humphrey (19:24)
Yeah.
I think we questioned because he puts us into some situations where we're not trained up for, right? Like his apostles were like fishermen and like tax collectors and like had nothing to do with ministry work, really. You know, some of them had more background than others, but.
Hope Mangiafico (19:41)
That's fair. Yeah. ⁓
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, Jesus is like, I'll make you fish or a man. It's like, okay, what a lot me and I'm a fish or a man. That's not the same thing.
Nikki Humphrey (20:00)
Hello!
Are we gonna like trap him with the net? I don't understand.
Hope Mangiafico (20:06)
dry stick up
That's funny. That's a good point. That is a good point. And we just have to, as elementary as it sounds, continue to build our trust in who he is and understand in the depths of who we are that that saying of like, God doesn't call the equipped, he equips the cloth. It sounds real cute on paper. It's really hard to live it out.
Nikki Humphrey (20:28)
Right.
really hard when you're in the middle of it. yo, God, you said you're gonna equip the call. I'm waiting. Like, equip me. ⁓
Hope Mangiafico (20:44)
I'm pretty
sure that's why every time I bring up a cheesy saying that I've heard, I'm like, I never liked it because I just feel like I'm always in the middle when I hear it. And I'm like, this is not a timely statement. I wasn't mature enough to understand it or, know, whatever it may be. That's so funny. But that's actually a very good point that Nikki is like, if we step into our humanism as humans, we question because we're not equipped.
And we love the safety and comfort of feeling solid ground, battle ready, arms full of tools. Yes, I have my checklist here. What do you need from me today?
Nikki Humphrey (21:17)
Mm-hmm. Yes. Yes. That's right.
Right. I was
just gonna say that like, what do you need? I got it. I've been waiting for this. Yeah, it's rare. Well, I don't think I've ever experienced like something that I was really waiting for like God totally equipped me and like zoomed off like
Hope Mangiafico (21:44)
expectations sometimes or a lot of times. What a good conversation this is. This is like, it's firing. It's giving me a lot of energy and I think it's because it's revealing so much about how, this sounds funny because it's energizing me, but how distorted my view was but in a good way. It's like, man, God, I'm fired up. Now I'm really getting it. That like, this had nothing to do with me and even if you are preparing me in one area and I feel locked and loaded and you take me.
Nikki Humphrey (21:46)
Yeah. Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (22:13)
Complete 180. It's okay! Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (22:15)
Right, I'm still locked and loaded with all that stuff and it might be useful to where I'm going. I don't know yet.
Hope Mangiafico (22:24)
Right. And we need to be careful of, trying to figure out how our screwdriver fits in all the screws Yeah. That is so funny. Man, that's good stuff. So, okay. One is we answer, two is we seek, three is we get started, four is we question, five... We've kind of hit on this just because we're conversing while we're doing it, but like...
Nikki Humphrey (22:30)
Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (22:52)
we challenge or we're faced with the challenge. So it's like all of a sudden after you're like, okay, God, did I hear you right? What are my abilities? You're starting to believe that where you are right in that moment proves the false beliefs about yourself. Like you're no good. You're useless. You're a mess up. All of those yucks that you've carried for so long or we'll use the reference I made earlier. I'm overwhelmed all the time. I knew that I could never feel at ease in something. You know, I knew I couldn't do it. ⁓
you're met with this challenge, which God probably intentionally does to help grow us when you talk about, well, we questioned because we're never equipped. We're never equipped. So we face this challenge head on and it's like, what are we going to do in it? Amen. Amen, God. I'm like, I'll receive them.
But it really, it challenges all those false beliefs that you have in you about yourself. And we so quickly wanna be like, well, that just validates them and that proves that I'm actually am this low and worth nothing.
Nikki Humphrey (23:54)
Yes, I agree because as you were talking I heard if we don't face challenges God can't upgrade our armor which we've talked about before.
Hope Mangiafico (24:01)
Amen. Yeah.
Amen.
Nikki Humphrey (24:04)
Like we say we wanna be battle ready, but it's not just one battle we're gonna face. We're gonna face battle, different challenges, different hard seasons, different ups and downs all the time.
Go ahead.
Hope Mangiafico (24:20)
I keep going.
image so my sectional is right here and I see a person, whatever, and there's like no details of face so it's not in this no one specific, laying on the sectional in armor and just like I'm good. It's like how pointless is-
Nikki Humphrey (24:28)
haha
Yes!
Hope Mangiafico (24:46)
you're just gonna sit there forever in all this gear and just say I got it, I'm good, I don't need to do anything, then what was the point to ever get it in the first place?
Nikki Humphrey (24:55)
Yes, if we don't use it, why you got your shoes apiece on if you're not using it? Like, yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (25:03)
It's just, don't know, you you see the bags of chips and sodas and they're just in their armor. This is the life. It's catching all my soda from dropping on my clothes.
Nikki Humphrey (25:06)
Right.
Great!
That's the perfect analogy.
Hope Mangiafico (25:16)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (25:17)
We're meant to be used by God in the best possible way. And even though I'm saying the best possible way doesn't mean it's going to be easy.
Hope Mangiafico (25:19)
Yeah.
Right, well you know, so here's the other thought about what you're sharing. Think about being on a sectional in armor and how uncomfortable that would be because of the positioning your body is in and it was armor is not meant for that position.
Nikki Humphrey (25:35)
Thank
Yes, girl.
Hope Mangiafico (25:46)
I felt that in my life. Okay, battle ready means you need to be standing in all those motions that are required for that armor to work. And you'll feel okay while doing it because it was made for those motions.
Nikki Humphrey (25:54)
Yes.
That's right. Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (26:07)
Wow. I'm just like thinking how uncomfortable that would be laying on a section of an armor. Truly.
Nikki Humphrey (26:14)
Well, it made me think too, not of a sectional, but the phrase armchair warrior came up. You know how the people just sit back on their couch, they're lounging, they're scrolling social media and then they're like, putting their two cents in, act them like they're a hot dog and you know, flinging off things, but they're not really doing anything.
Hope Mangiafico (26:23)
Mmmmm
Right, that's the truth. Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (26:44)
You just in your armchair, you just lounging on your sofa, not walking
out your purpose.
And no wonder people who comment, not all, but most of the people who make comments from those armchair warriors, it's not positive, it's not uplifting.
Hope Mangiafico (27:00)
Never, never. That's a good point. Yes, because they're uncomfortable. ⁓
Nikki Humphrey (27:03)
It's divisive, it's rude, it's mean, it's snarky, it's provoking, like, yeah.
Yes, that's what I can't like. Yeah, with themselves who they are, they're they're not,
you know.
Hope Mangiafico (27:21)
Yeah, no, truly. You know, it makes me think that, because God truly does use all things for good, that when people are doing that, They're uncomfortable with who they are.
and they're expressing it outwardly, but he lets that happen to your point of them not living in their purpose because at some point, again, I'm going back to also visualizing that they have the armor on simultaneously, right? That at some point, your body goes numb, you're pinching in weird places, and you finally reach a point where you can't tolerate it anymore. It's just at what point do you decide to say, yes, I am so uncomfortable?
Nikki Humphrey (27:45)
Yes. Yep.
Hope Mangiafico (28:01)
with my perspectives, my mind, my body, whatever, that I'm going to finally sit up. Because that's all you gotta do. It's like, girl, get up. Sit up. And this, in this example of being in an armchair or a sectional, sit up. Get in that posture we've talked about in episodes two. Now receive.
Nikki Humphrey (28:10)
Hmm?
Yeah, and I think one of the barriers to go along with everything that you said, sometimes you don't realize how uncomfortable you are or how stuck you are or how immobile you become. You just do the same thing over and over and over again and forget how strange or how uncomfortable or how disconnected it feels.
Hope Mangiafico (28:30)
Mm-mm. ⁓ no.
Well, and that's where, you know, I guess the saying rock bottom comes from because eventually, hopefully you get to that very bottom and start coming back up. But I mean, that's hard to speak on because every person is so different. But, know, you can talk about that or even going back to the overwhelm conversation. I didn't know that there was any other alternative until maybe in another area of my life that I was uncomfortable, I said yes to the Lord.
And then my horizon, my vision broadened on what was possible. And that's the whole point, right? You just gotta get in a spot to widen your vision and perspective of life and what's possible.
Man, that's good stuff. So you get to that point of you're being challenged, like we talked about, and then you have a moment to be able to pause. So step six is you pause. And this is really interesting how this came out. So after your challenge and you're going through that kind of war, ⁓ you catch yourself in this lull. So it's either because you've temporarily said, I can't do this.
Or you quit and you quit, excuse me. Or because you notice the path you're headed down isn't in alignment with God. So like allowing those thoughts to really take over, right? And you're like, whoa, this is... Or like your example you shared earlier where you're like, well, I gotta stop this right now, right? This isn't alignment with what I know. So you stop because you quit or you stop because you notice you're headed down a path that's not in alignment with God. So you stop and process with God.
However long that it may take. It may take minutes, days, weeks, to months. And you don't know and we can't define it because you have no clue what God's actually doing. And you gave a great example of your current situation where you're like every time there's a new group of people, I would say, okay, a couple people are highlighted to me. What's God gonna do? I don't know. But every single opportunity you pause and stop. Let God speak to you and then you're like, okay, well.
Nikki Humphrey (30:35)
Mm-hmm.
Hope Mangiafico (30:58)
Let's see what happens.
Nikki Humphrey (30:59)
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (31:00)
But we can't define that though, and I think that's really important. I preach into myself based off where I'm at right now. I've so often have had seasons where I pause and God gives me something in seconds and minutes. And now I feel like I'm in a really long lull And we ain't talking about weeks.
And so yeah, it's a wild ride, but the beauty is after you hit that challenging moment.
if you can pause and catch yourself.
and be okay with a lull. Even if it's a lull because you're temporarily like, I can't do this. If you give God enough space to speak in those moments.
you'll be able to actually go into the last step either way, which we can talk about in a second if you have anything to add about the pause or anything.
Nikki Humphrey (31:53)
think that's
so important because as God's highlighting people to me where I'm at, it's hard because earthly Nikki wants to go and ask all these questions and God's like, not yet, not yet. And you're just like, that's hard. It's very difficult for me when I see someone who's struggling not to.
immediately go up.
Hope Mangiafico (32:22)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (32:23)
It's really hard.
Hope Mangiafico (32:25)
Do you know what just came to me by you saying that I've never thought about this before Curious your thoughts on it, you know, we talked about boundaries a lot like us setting boundaries But what if we saw when we as individuals struggle with that because I've been guilty of that think women Holistically have that tendency. What if we changed our perspective be like, okay god, I hear you because I don't know what their boundaries are
Nikki Humphrey (32:47)
Mm-hmm. Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (32:49)
See it from a boundary perspective. I don't know, that really just shifted my mindset of like, I don't want to cross that threshold that they may have set personally that I can't read, I don't know.
Nikki Humphrey (33:00)
Right. And that was exactly what we've been talking. I've been talking about with these women at where I'm working about boundaries and setting boundaries and how everybody's boundary is different and everybody's emotional regulation is different. And somebody might need somebody to come up and approach them and pour into them. Some other people need space. Some other people need to do it's everybody's different.
Hope Mangiafico (33:12)
Mm. Mm.
Nikki Humphrey (33:30)
for that. And that's just like what you're saying, like, practice what you preach, girl, like practice what you preach. And it's just like, if I need you to move, like the conversation with Britt, like he'll let us know.
Hope Mangiafico (33:31)
Okay.
Yeah, and it's strong. And that's something else I was talking about with my biblical counselor yesterday. ⁓ We were chatting about me looking for just some extra job to do just to I love people just like your job is very much people oriented like we're people people like we are. ⁓
Nikki Humphrey (33:47)
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (34:04)
And God put that in us, I believe we just are learning how to walk it out well, right? But she was like talking about a job. She's like, hope it's going to be like how you knew your house was your house. And I was like, that's such a good example to have given me because I knew this home was our home. But I wasn't attached to that. was just like, God, we'll pray over it for whoever buys it. But that house, that house a lot, you know?
And so I'm really glad she said that and it reminds me of what we say all the time of like you get that history. But sometimes you need to be reminded of how strong those moments are. It's like you've got history, yes, but you need to then remember how deep you felt in those moments of that like conviction from him or his leading, right?
Nikki Humphrey (34:58)
Yes, yeah. And it's, this just came to me, it's arrogant enough, it's arrogant for us to assume that just because we might have those skills to approach somebody or talk to them, like, doesn't mean we should. Doesn't mean we should at all.
Hope Mangiafico (35:13)
Yeah
It's the truth.
I feel that that's the truth.
Nikki Humphrey (35:23)
Yeah, because I have every skill, not every skill, but I have a lot of skills to approach these people who have been highlighted to me. And I could probably do a pretty darn good job helping them with ever what they're dealing with. But that's my arrogance. That's my ego in play. That's not God's will. God's will is like, right now. just, just put these people on your radar. We'll deal with it. I'll let you know when the time.
Hope Mangiafico (35:47)
Woo,
I feel that he'll sometimes highlight people and it's like a not now and it's one of those like just remember them and trusting that he'll bring them back to your memory when it's the appropriate time. ⁓
Nikki Humphrey (35:59)
Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (36:03)
And that's a difficult one to me because it's a form of surrendering. Which is so goofy because it's like, people are starting as a stranger anyways.
Nikki Humphrey (36:07)
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (36:16)
the fear so going back to like the challenge, I've always had a fear of a missed opportunity.
Nikki Humphrey (36:22)
Mm-hmm.
Hope Mangiafico (36:23)
So am I gonna lean on that fear and simultaneously arrogance that I have what it takes? Or I'm gonna trust who my father is? And you know, it's funny you talk about the arrogance and the pride because you're wanting to extend what looks like love, but with the number one block to loving like God is pride. We shared that in how to love like God's episode.
Nikki Humphrey (36:45)
Yeah, I'm laughing because like, highlighted this person. I almost went up and I was like, no, he said not yet. And then I gave this person an assignment and then I got back and there was an opportunity to write something, a little nugget down for this person. And God was like, would you put the pen down? Like, no, no, again, don't do it girl. It's not time.
Hope Mangiafico (36:49)
you
I feel the pain of that though and I mean I'm gonna use the word pain because when it's something that you've done so often so frequently it is painful to listen
Nikki Humphrey (37:23)
Yeah.
I was like, mm. Okay, fine.
Hope Mangiafico (37:28)
I feel that. That's so funny. Man. But here's the cool part. So we catch ourself, right? We realign with the Father, talk to Him. Or I should say pause and talk to Him and let Him set us up well. So then the last step is momentum. So you regain your momentum and sometimes, depending on where you are in your personal journey to wholeness with the Lord, you may repeat this cycle over and over.
Nikki Humphrey (37:33)
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (37:56)
This is my favorite part. But the good news is each step will last shorter and shorter and much to your surprise you've actually been building and obeying God all along in that whole process. Even though you have those sticking points, those challenges, those you pause, you quit, you question, you look back you're like
Nikki Humphrey (38:09)
Yes.
You what?
Hope Mangiafico (38:23)
I wrote that at the bottom.
Nikki Humphrey (38:25)
Won't He do it? Yes!
Hope Mangiafico (38:26)
Why
do it? You are still building through the whole... It makes me emotional to think about... He never changed in that whole process.
Nikki Humphrey (38:31)
Yeah. Yeah.
Right. Yeah. And we say hope, won't he do it? It's won't I do it? Won't Nikki do it? Won't Hope do it? Won't he do it?
Let's have pride again. ⁓ it comes up a lot.
Hope Mangiafico (38:48)
Yeah.
Yeah. It does. That's why I was number one in that list. God's proven that. He's like, I told you guys I knew.
Nikki Humphrey (38:59)
He
⁓ good.
Hope Mangiafico (39:02)
He does know. my, that actually really made my eyes water though, because I had this beautiful image of going through these seven steps and repeating them again and again. It's like, well, God, I'm answering a little more optimistically and I'm seeking you more quickly and I'm getting started faster and my questions aren't as like, you know, heavy as they were before and I'm not questioning your character as much. ⁓ My thoughts about myself are shrinking, so I'm not being as challenged about, you know, what's...
what you say about me and who you are. I catch myself quickly once I kind of stop for a moment, right? And it's like you go through this and you're staying in those cycles and you notice all that and then you look back. Like literally, I just picture being able to look behind me and seeing this beautiful like trail of him building different structures, different pieces, all this beauty. I don't know how to explain it. I hope that someone
for each individual they have in their mind's eye their own image of looking back in what they see.
Nikki Humphrey (40:04)
It goes, I hope this goes perfectly, this nugget that I wrote earlier. I wrote down, you don't have to feel equipped because God himself is your equipment.
Hope Mangiafico (40:17)
Ew.
Nikki Humphrey (40:18)
And like he said, he's building it and he's doing it and.
Hope Mangiafico (40:20)
Wow.
He's your equipment. That is really cool terminology.
Nikki Humphrey (40:26)
We think we need to do all the things and figure it all out.
Hope Mangiafico (40:32)
Gosh, my eyes are like, yeah, they're really watering. I'm just thinking about the love I feel in that.
Nikki Humphrey (40:44)
It's so hard and reading that brings me so much peace.
Hope Mangiafico (40:49)
Yes, me too. And I think that's what like was giving me energy earlier. It's like it was excited. Obviously, it was like up here in energy, but simultaneously because two things can exist at once, right? I had all this energy and excitement, but it's like my depths of me, my soul, every part of me felt this peace of like...
can't believe I've still been on that journey of obedience, of trying to build and equip myself. And I think, you you often talk about the worldly, Nikki, worldly thoughts, worldly whatever, and the world does teach, like you've got to equip and you've got to make yourself ready for opportunities. ⁓ And I guess the answer, now I'm thinking about it, it's like equipped fellowship, like the whole point is...
we're only equipped by him and it's not in our own doing at all. But the world does teach differently and you've really got to protect yourself from letting those things seep in. Even like using your situation as an example, what you're walking through, you're not in an isolated setting. So you're with other people that have been in, lack of better term, industry for a while. And so their mindset, you don't know where their mindset is.
Nikki Humphrey (42:06)
Right. Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (42:07)
So you
have to protect your ear gates as they give pieces of advice.
Nikki Humphrey (42:10)
Yes.
⁓ Yeah. Yeah. And I see over a hundred people a day. And so I have so many people coming at me and interacting with that. It's just, yeah, you got to be, you got to be equipped with God to just handle it all.
Hope Mangiafico (42:36)
Yeah, I love that. He'll be your equipment.
So that would be an encouragement, I think, that to summarize everything is like, if you're still listening to this episode, when you, when it's done, close your eyes and use your sacred imagination and picture yourself turning behind you and seeing what all he built and equipped you for. What equipment do you see?
Mmm, it's good.
Nikki Humphrey (43:07)
Yeah, I think that'll do it.
Hope Mangiafico (43:09)
I do too, I was just about to say the same thing. This was way richer than I expected.
Nikki Humphrey (43:14)
Yes. Yeah, I wrote a little closing encouragement. It says, friend, if you've been praying for God to use you and now find yourself standing in the middle for what you prayed for, feeling shaky, unsure, or maybe even inadequate, lean into this truth. You are right where you're supposed to be.
Hope Mangiafico (43:17)
I'm so grateful.
Okay.
Nikki Humphrey (43:43)
God delights in using ordinary people for extraordinary purposes. The very fact that you feel weak is proof that his strength will shine all the brighter through you. So instead of asking, can I really do this? Ask the Lord, how do you want to show your glory through this? And then that's when I said, remember, you don't have to feel equipped because God himself.
is your equipment.
Hope Mangiafico (44:15)
Won't he do it? Until next time, be blessed guys.
Nikki Humphrey (44:16)
won't he do it?
