Hope Mangiafico (00:00)
That was good.
I felt it. It felt like to me, and it might just be my opinion, but I kind of felt it from you too, this conversation almost opened up an opportunity for us to even reveal more and almost gain like even a deeper understanding of our own journeys of what God's done in our lives. You know, of like a, yeah, better understanding of how he's operated all along to heal us.
Nikki Humphrey (00:21)
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah. I think so too, because I was just like, couldn't, I knew I was feeling heavy yesterday and I didn't realize like, like why was he bringing up now? Like why was I questioning God is close to the brokenhearted? Probably because I didn't feel like he was with me in that moment, right? Or like I've been hearing so many people say lately that I don't feel God, I don't feel as presidents. He's abandoned me. Why would he let this happen? All of that. And I was just like,
Hope Mangiafico (00:46)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (00:59)
was wrestling with it so hard.
Hope Mangiafico (01:03)
That reminds me of something I showed you months ago where it's like we all, and I think I might have shared this with you way back on our like navigating emotions through faith, where it's like we use the term feel when we should be saying think. Like I don't think God's with me right now. I, you know, like it's not a feeling because emotions, feelings are like anger, you know, like the list of emotions, love, hate, anger, sadness, whatever.
Nikki Humphrey (01:17)
Mm-hmm.
Hope Mangiafico (01:30)
And so that already sets us up to not receive from God because it's a thought we have. It's not actually how we're feeling.
Nikki Humphrey (01:38)
It's
a miswiring in our brain, because I was feeling heavy. was feeling super sad and angry and a couple of things like all at one time.
Hope Mangiafico (01:43)
Mmm.
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (01:50)
but I was blocking God. I was carrying it all myself. And that was like the mis-releasing in my body. And I'm like, God left me. God's left so-and-so. The enemy wants you to confirm it all around. Like, high five, you're out. Look at all this evidence that God is not here right now.
Hope Mangiafico (01:53)
and
Which he operates through thoughts. Yeah, exactly. So catching that misalignment and that rewire, or like the bad wiring, if you will, helps you more quickly. Like we were saying, we got to be quick. It helps you more quickly respond and be like, whoa, wait.
Nikki Humphrey (02:09)
Right! Yeah.
and start asking questions. Wow, like what do mean by this God? Like this is what scripture says. So I believe it to be true, but I don't understand it right now.
Hope Mangiafico (02:28)
we love, yeah, we love questions.
Amen. Or, you know, just like scripture says, like, Lord, I believe, help my unbelief. Like, that scripture is very strange and it continues to be strange to me because it shows that they both can coincide. And I don't understand it, but I can say it's true. I have struggled with that.
Nikki Humphrey (02:51)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (02:57)
This is leading me to something else that I saw and I think this is relevant to the conversation. You know the scripture about like faith as a mustard seed? And so how often it's taught of like you just need a little bit of a little bit of faith and it'll go a long way. Do you realize that it actually is about having faith like a mustard seed as in go research how a mustard seed grows?
Nikki Humphrey (03:06)
Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (03:27)
a mustard seed through its growth process, which I wish this is just not coming to me so I can't tell you Jack Diddley Squat about it other than I was like, God, this makes sense. Go research that and understand that what Jesus was saying about having faith like a mustard seed is that you have to go so hard after what you believe is true about God and have
let him in to dismantle the unbelief. That's what it means. Come in because I don't want anything to hinder my pursuit of fully knowing who you are and who you made me. That is what faith like a mustard seeded. It is not that you need a little bit and it's been mistaught. Go research what a mustard seed does to grow and then say, I want that.
Nikki Humphrey (04:14)
Yes!
Yeah.
Right. Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (04:22)
I just learned that. I learned it and then I forgot how it works, but it was just enough conviction, right? Of like, wait, no hindrances. I wanted all, all the truths.
Nikki Humphrey (04:38)
Because if you just, let's put it this way, Hope and I always talk about this between ourselves. We mentioned here on the podcast sometimes like, if you just have a little bit of faith, you gotta lay on both sides of the fence.
Hope Mangiafico (04:45)
⁓
Yeah. Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (04:53)
A
little faith isn't a full surrender of faith.
Hope Mangiafico (04:57)
That's, yeah, exactly. Exactly. And I think it's, you know, it sounds sweet to have a little bit, but that means you're not fully committed. Exactly what you just said. Your commitment's not fully there. Whether it's by choice or by hurt or by lies, the truth is the truth.
Nikki Humphrey (05:19)
And I think that's a protection that you try to do. You play both sides of the fence. Like I have a little bit of faith that this is going to happen, but I don't want to be disappointed if it doesn't happen.
Hope Mangiafico (05:28)
Exactly, exactly. Amen.
Nikki Humphrey (05:34)
and I hate to break it
to all of you out there, we're gonna be hurting life regardless.
Hope Mangiafico (05:40)
That is the truth.
Nikki Humphrey (05:42)
We just like the whole point of this episode is like what you do when you're in the midst of that hurt you always have a choice You can choose God or choose something else choose wisely
Hope Mangiafico (05:47)
Hmm.
And choosing wisely also should be an opportunity for you to be like, what in this moment where I have a choice to make will help continue to point me in the right choice or turn me away? And I told Nikki, mean, Nikki's heard this a million times. I'm pretty sure I've also said it on the podcast a handful of times, but like, I can tell pretty quickly when I know that social media is gonna point me in the wrong direction.
So I quickly sign out or whatever, delete it, whatever it may be. ⁓ Because I know that whatever's going on in my personal life, the world, whatever, it will not help me choose the right way.
And a lot of people.
I'll say in the Christian faith, honestly I don't even think it's just Christians, but ⁓ you know, you hear the term like going into rabbit holes, right? Like, ooh, we're truthers and we're digging into this rabbit hole. That's a bad idea. ⁓ it's good to know the truth, but once you keep digging and now you're getting darker, okay Lord, I hear that, you're getting darker into, the hole's getting darker because you're getting deeper.
Guess where you're not headed then. You're not headed in the right direction. Now you're in a deep dark hole.
Nikki Humphrey (07:16)
And hoping I can both preach on this because we've gone on some rabbit trails in the past. When you do that, sometimes when you do a deep dive, your perception is so skewed, you can find your right answer that you're looking for out there. You can always find some version of truth to back up the truth that you're searching for. It doesn't mean it's right.
Hope Mangiafico (07:36)
Mm-hmm. Right.
Parts of it may be when you started, but then when you keep seeking that exact thing, you can validate it. And you know, I told my husband just last night, I was like, you know what? God's shown me about you.
Nikki Humphrey (07:49)
Hmm.
Hope Mangiafico (07:58)
So I said, I used to think that you just don't care about anything. He's standing on a stool in our pantry trying to like organize our pantry. And I said, but you know what God showed me? That it's been really beneficial for us because it's kept you out of the crap that I've been in. And I just want to thank you. It's not that you don't care. It's that you aren't caring about the thing that distracts everyone and turns them away. Whether he realized, whether my husband realized or not.
that that's what God was doing. It's what God was doing. And I was poop pulling on my husband, why you don't care about this thing? And finally I'm like, hey, God showed me I'm so grateful that you don't get stuck in the weeds like I can.
Nikki Humphrey (08:29)
Sorry.
good.
Hope Mangiafico (08:44)
It's really funny. I'm surprised he didn't fall off the ladder. would, or the step stool. He was like, I'll take a compliment wherever I can get it. It's really funny. But it's the truth. Like, I was quick to judge for so long because I thought my digging and my research and blah, blah, which probably was rooted in pride, Nikki. Speaking about pride being such a...
Such a door to brokenheartedness. ⁓ I created pride and I was like, man, I'm judging him. He don't care. He should care about the things that I care about. These things are proving that there's the evil and proving this and proving that. I got nothing to prove. I just need to choose to let Jesus in to bind my broken heart so I can be fully who I was supposed to be and to kick the enemy down. But I can't kick him down if I'm distracted.
So anyways, that was a funny moment less than 24 hours ago.
Nikki Humphrey (09:51)
I'll preach.
Hope Mangiafico (09:53)
It will preach. It really will. So anyways, ⁓ it's wild how sneaky just those developed core beliefs are. And I think when I first learned about brokenheartedness, or just the heart in general, it's been a couple years ago, today's conversation actually really opened up a whole other realm of its beauty ⁓ of having a broken heart.
But, you know, it was associated with dissociation. And that actually makes a lot of sense. You enter into the world and instantly, not only are you entering into a place that's like brand new because you came as a spirit through and there you are into this crazy world. ⁓ You develop moments of dissociation and it's not your fault because it actually, to your point, Nikki, that you may just a little bit ago of like,
Well, I'm gonna have a little faith because you know in the past like this actually protected me. That's the whole point of dissociation is to protect you. And so finally when you accept Jesus and fully surrender like you said Nikki, he can make you one and whole again talking about the soul fragments that we've talked about before. And that same how to love like God conversation. ⁓ The key is letting him in.
Nikki Humphrey (11:17)
That's right.
Hope Mangiafico (11:18)
and now you're fully together. You don't need to protect yourself because you've got the great defender who can be against you. Actually, what is this? Yeah, I got it right here.
Nikki Humphrey (11:27)
That's right.
Look at that, I love it. You just carry that around that cross hope everywhere you go.
Hope Mangiafico (11:38)
It's definitely a wall hanging, you know, I'm not hanging things on the walls around here. ⁓ But it's been sitting by this like little book thing for a long time. I kind of like it, it's just a piece of floor decor.
Nikki Humphrey (11:53)
Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (11:57)
story just because this is just people could tune out now and we I this is just a funny story but I that sounded kind of silly I'm like I'm not hanging anything on the wall but when Nikki and I started this and like we really felt like this podcast was from God and we were aligning with the Lord no joke after a couple episodes in the middle of the night where that little reef is it's on a window pane that sucker fell off the wall
It's been hanging on that wall for seven years, which is probably symbolic too. Never fallen. Seven years. Nikki and I started the podcast, sucker, fell. Praise the Lord, there's nothing but breakables on there. Nothing broke. It's scuffed up this little cabinet just a little bit. ⁓ And I said, I ain't playing that game. It works just fine just like that. So I'm not trying to break my house.
Nikki Humphrey (12:43)
Mm-mm.
That's right.
Hope Mangiafico (12:51)
But you know, it's where we record. ⁓ There's something significant about, like, your Jesus Corner, this has become my Jesus Corner, our recording corner. Like, the enemy doesn't want us to do this, so he'll try to break things or whatever, but if we are working with God who's for us...
It's unstoppable if it's declared by God. And I believe in the heavens this podcast was called and ordained. And we're saying heck yeah on earth as it is in heaven. So anyways, I had to explain that. But I've been blessed today. How about you?
Nikki Humphrey (13:23)
Yes.
That's right. That is right.
Yes,
me too. Me too. I feel so much better.
