Nikki Humphrey (00:01)
Hi I'm Nikki.
Hope Mangiafico (00:02)
Hi, I'm Hope. Welcome to Equipped Fellowship, where friends become family through Christ. We're two Jesus-loving friends on a mission to share personal stories, resources, and real talk about our triumphs, breakthroughs, struggles, and setbacks. Why? Because we believe you are called to live victoriously, and we're here to equip you with Holy Spirit-led tools and strategies to strengthen your faith.
transform your mindset and walk boldly in God's promises because here's the truth, you have been given great and precious promises by God so grab your coffee, lean in and let's grow together. It's time to step into everything God has for you.
Nikki Humphrey (00:44)
And in this episode today, we're gonna get into some real talk today for sure. Cause yesterday I was struggling with Psalm 34 18. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. And I was really wrestling is how can the Lord be close to the brokenhearted? Why don't we always feel him when we're brokenhearted or crushed in spirit and
wanted to sit down with the Lord and get some revelation on this because so many times we get stuck and people were in pain and people throw this verse out like the Lord is close to the broken hearted and you're like well where is he because I don't feel him right now so we're gonna get raw and real and deep in this episode and we are going to reveal the revelation that both Hope and I got on this topic
So kick it off, sister.
Hope Mangiafico (01:43)
I am so excited about this. When you presented it to me, ⁓ I just, I felt it, the breakthrough that's coming with this. And the first thing that I felt like the Lord revealed to me is like, hey, before jumping into this, like what is the heart? And I was, you know, I don't think most people think it's like that organ beating in your chest, but to be honest, it's like, well, what really is it? Because if we don't know what it is, then how is it broken? And then how can we let him in? How can he show up, right?
And so the first thing that I learned a long time ago and I felt validated when I was praying to the Father is your heart, it's like a convergence. It's where your soul, so we call it the mind will emotions and then I crossed out mine. I was like your thoughts, will and emotions and your spirit, the part of you that was eternal and was with God before you came to earth. It's where they meet. Your heart is this gateway of the truth of what's always been and
what your reality is on earth, those thoughts, your will and your emotions. So that being said, it is what shapes your reality. Hebrews 412, I'm not gonna read the whole thing, but a lot of people know the beginning where the word of God is quick and powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword. It talks about separating bone and marrow, your soul and your spirit. And the end says, a discerner of the thoughts and intent of the heart.
So the heart is what's deep within you. It's what makes us act certain ways, even when we don't understand why we do it. It's our daily lives. Luke 6, 45 states, for from the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. So therefore, the heart contains our core belief systems. Whether we realize it or not, it comes out. A broken heart is a heart that has a breakdown
between the soul, so what's being felt and believed in the natural, being in alignment or technically it's a breakdown between the alignment of what's being felt and believed with what is true and their spirit or what's true about them and the reality about them and about God. And this happens through life events that happen to us.
or around us, world events that we just have exposure to all the time in today's world. And these things traumatize us and they shatter us. They shatter who we are and shatter our heart. And this is why Jesus came to bind up the brokenhearted, which is stated in Psalm 147, 3.
Nikki Humphrey (04:36)
So good.
Hope Mangiafico (04:36)
Does that make sense?
It's like, it makes so much sense.
Nikki Humphrey (04:42)
Yeah, it's so good. And it was just, you know, as you're talking, Hope, I just kept thinking, that's why it hurts so much. hurt like yesterday when I was walking into church with this verse on my mind, like I was so heavy. I was so discombobulated. I was so filled with emotions that I didn't know what to do with, because I didn't know where they were coming from. But boy, were they
Hope Mangiafico (04:53)
Exactly!
Nikki Humphrey (05:12)
bubbling up and I'm just like, I was carrying the weight of everyone that I knew who was close to me, who was going through a loss in their family or a break in their family or trauma and things that I'm dealing with right now and medical things like, it was on me so much. And when I went and I sat down and I was just wrestling with God, I'm like,
Hope Mangiafico (05:13)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (05:39)
God come to me, like tell me about this minister to me because I am so confused right now. I could name about six people right now who are broken hearted and they don't feel you. So how can you be close and we not feel you? And that's when I heard in my spirit, like he knows our pain. God knows every ache in our heart. He knows the struggles in our mind, the fight raging in our bodies and the brokenness in spirit.
Hope Mangiafico (05:52)
Hmm.
Okay.
Nikki Humphrey (06:10)
kind of all those things that you were talking about. And then I heard, God is close to us because he is one with us. He is one in us. He never leaves us even when we shut him out. And I thought like, how can I explain this image? It's like, he's part of our DNA. Like you can't extract just parts of our DNA without wrecking your whole body. That's how I feel like.
Hope Mangiafico (06:12)
Yeah. .
Nikki Humphrey (06:39)
God is in us. He made us. He created us. He is part of our DNA. So we can't think that for one second that God ever missed any pain, any struggle, any heartache, any hurt, any brokenness. He didn't miss any of it. He didn't. What he is waiting for you, what he's waiting for you to do is to turn to him, to reach out and to surrender all to him.
Hope Mangiafico (06:51)
Right.
Nikki Humphrey (07:10)
it takes that posture of turning to God. And I'm like, explain this to me further, God, explain it to me like I could explain it to anybody on the street who would understand. And God was like, you have to surrender all of this to God, like a child running to a parent when they have a boo-boo. When kids are really small and they have a boo-boo, they have a scrape.
Hope Mangiafico (07:10)
Yes.
Nikki Humphrey (07:37)
They're just running, ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma, I got a boo boo,
Hope Mangiafico (07:40)
.
Nikki Humphrey (07:40)
I got a boo boo on my leg. That's what God is talking about. That full out surrender to let God see all your woos.
He sees it all, but we need to let him know what's going on. That holy exchange, that full surrender to let him in, because if we don't let him in, we have a door shut to God and he can't work with a closed door. So when we open it and we let him into our brokenness, he can help heal what is misaligned inside of you.
Hope Mangiafico (07:55)
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
to compliment that I was led to Ezekiel 36 26 and in there it says he removes our heart of stone and gives us a heart of flesh you know and this is how he translated that scripture for me and it's very much like that open door and okay he's done the work now will we let him in right like just like Jesus has already died and been resurrected he's been available for all of us to tap into it's been
Nikki Humphrey (08:36)
Okay.
Hope Mangiafico (08:54)
The ball's been in our court for lack of better terms, right? It doesn't mean he's missing. It's the ball's in our court. And so with Ezekiel 36 26, when it says he removes our heart of stone, God show me that he removes our impalable, the unable to change heart, that hard heart that he can't work with. He can't mold. He can't do anything, which is that heart of stone to a new heart of flesh, which
This is so cool. I don't know how I wound up with this in Strong's Concordance. I was just playing when I looked up in Concordance flesh and I went to like the root in Hebrew. But a heart of flesh with that root means in Hebrew is one that can receive and share the good news of redemption and binding and freedom found in Jesus.
Nikki Humphrey (09:49)
Yes.
That is so cool.
Hope Mangiafico (09:57)
got me here. but that is what is so beautiful is we have that ability.
Nikki Humphrey (10:01)
I
It's so good. It's so good. I told this to Hope yesterday. I'm like, this is Hope's gonna laugh about this. But I always said, you my Jesus is a little ghetto sometimes, right? Like he will just take care of business, like boom, boom, boom, and not even think twice about it. And like they're just waiting for our surrender, our yes, that turning, like you said, that softening. And it reminded me of the Corey Ashbery song, Reckless Love. It's like,
Hope Mangiafico (10:18)
Thank
Hmm
Nikki Humphrey (10:34)
As soon as we turn to God, it like activates him into go mode. And he's like, there's no shadow. You won't light up mountain. won't climb up coming after me. There's no wall. You won't kick down. Why you won't tear down coming after me, but we have to initiate it.
Hope Mangiafico (10:52)
Yes. Yes. Can I share the story about Corey to compliment that? Because we're sharing this after a couple of episodes about community. And when Nikki told me the song of reckless love, was like, Nikki, do you know the more?
Nikki Humphrey (10:57)
Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (11:09)
And she was like, I don't know it. I'm like, girl, this is good. And it compliments this conversation so well. So a lot of people are familiar. Corey Asbury wrote Reckless Love. Beautiful song has just like took over really. It had a season of just like all over Christian radio and churches and everything. Anyways, Forrest Frank, a couple of weeks ago, months ago, timeline, don't know, but he broke his back.
Nikki Humphrey (11:22)
Thank
Hope Mangiafico (11:36)
and God miraculously healed it and that just took off as well. And while that was happening, some Christian artists were kind of turning it into a joke, not meaning to be hurtful, but they were like tagging him if they pretended like they had a bee sting or Corey's was a vasectomy, which was a bit offensive because literally like it was the bad
heartbreaking scenario for Forrest and his wife was very traumatic, right? And so Forrest records a video of him watching Corey's Comedy if you will and he paused it. He's like I can't finish this. This is very like traumatic for me. It's very hurtful. Whatever Well, you watch that you know, ooh that hurt. ⁓ but then all of a sudden Corey
comes on his Instagram, his social media, and he's repenting for it. And then Forrest says, believe it or not, guys, I had recorded that video. And after I recorded it, Corey reached out apologizing. We got on the phone and he was like, I learned about Corey's story. And Corey grew up in a very angry home and anger was all he knew. And so he covered it up with comedy.
You asked me that sounds like a broken heart. And so they wrote a song. I can't even remember what it's called. I don't think it's called Forgiven, but it's all about forgiving because Jesus forgave so we can forgive. And the lyrics are so powerful because it was talking about how you can just be on the phone for a couple minutes, get to know someone and just like that years of hurt. And I think Corey called it like the shadows of home and the shadows of your past carry longer than you know and just like that.
Someone in your community aligned with Jesus can help heal you, can help bind up the brokenhearted because they're in alignment with Jesus. So, and reckless love had such a big impact and he knew it, but it took someone else and to shine a light on what was in his heart, what he did not realize was in his heart until someone in the body of Christ shone a light on it and he was healed and Jesus...
Nikki Humphrey (13:42)
Mm-hmm.
It's...
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (13:59)
He owned his heart.
The most incredible thing.
Nikki Humphrey (14:06)
I mean, God will use everything. God will use everything to come after you and help you find freedom. Nothing's on my
Hope Mangiafico (14:16)
right? It's like it didn't dismiss.
It doesn't dismiss the truth of the reckless love song. It was true. But just because our reality doesn't match the truth doesn't mean it's not the truth. And we have to get that alignment of our soul and our spirit, the things we've known to come together in our heart. And he's the way. Jesus is the way. When we open that door like you're talking about because he can relate. It's so sweet.
Nikki Humphrey (14:27)
Yes.
Yes.
And God will line everything up. Like if Cory didn't live his life the way he did, how he did it to gain in popularity to all of that, to Forrest Frank breaking his back, to Cory seeing the video, to Cory making comedy of the video, to Forrest Frank seeing that, like you see, like it all lines up.
Hope Mangiafico (14:53)
Hmm.
haha
Nikki Humphrey (15:08)
it. We talked about that in the episode. We can't miss it. God will keep bringing the opportunity to heal those wounds again and again and again. We never miss it.
Hope Mangiafico (15:12)
Mmm.
Yeah, we talked about it last episode. Yeah.
So good. And I want to emphasize with Cory's story and then me talking about like how the heart shapes our reality whether we know it or not. And it almost sounds like deep down we are like evil and wicked and have all these bad ways. But I want to say broken heartedness does not define your worth. A lot of times it defines what happened to you that was outside of your control and you might have been too young.
or just not mature enough to know what to do with it and your heart breaks. But God does not use that as a defining point in your life. He uses that if you let Him in to mold you, shape you, love you.
and realign you.
but never define.
Nikki Humphrey (16:10)
Yeah, and we carry around that brokenness, like I said earlier in this episode, it is everything is so heavy. It is so heavy when we just try to carry it on our own. And I know we've talked about that in other episodes too. And the only way God eases that heaviness is to release it to him.
Hope Mangiafico (16:32)
Mm hmm.
Nikki Humphrey (16:35)
And I know I keep stressing that point, but God's, a lot of people say like, God didn't show up, God's not here, but we have to, it's an activation that we have to do and know that not everything that you're going through once you release it to God will be healed or worked out all at once, but it does lift that heaviness of the situation. The brokenness you feel, it makes it.
Hope Mangiafico (16:47)
Yes.
Nikki Humphrey (17:03)
I asked God, like, how does it make it? He goes, it makes it easier to breathe. And I'm like, I felt that. Because some of my darkest times where I was carrying things and carrying things and carrying and finally released it to the Lord, it didn't make it all go away, but it felt less heavy. And I felt like I could breathe like that full expansion in my lungs. And then I could allow him to come in and minister because it was almost that softening.
Hope Mangiafico (17:25)
Ugh.
Nikki Humphrey (17:32)
that you have to experience to allow the Lord to come in.
Hope Mangiafico (17:37)
Yes, and to compliment that, Nikki, I have to tell you years ago, ⁓ you know, God showed me that the enemy is after our breath. And you know, that sounds like he's after our life, but it's not that like, he's coming to attack you in very obvious, aggressive, violent ways. It's every time something happens to you, takes you by surprise, right? Those external events, the trauma, you can't breathe. It's like chiseling away.
at what God created you for, the life He created you in. And so it really is the enemy uses those traumatic things and shocking moments to slowly, little by little, separate you. I did not realize how much I was not ever taking full breaths and how hard it was to actually breathe. That's your life.
slipping away in the small little moments. In those broken, in the broken moments, I guess is the better way to say it.
Nikki Humphrey (18:42)
It's so true. And I just want to remind everybody that when you're going through this and you finally surrender and you're waiting for God to show up in the heaviness to lift and making it easier to breathe, that you have to allow God's divine timeline to take over. We want things done in a certain time, a certain place, and a certain way. But from what I know in my life, and I'm sure
Hope knows in her life too, that God's healing has a pace. And whenever we try to interrupt that pace, that timeline, things go down curly cues and it makes the whole situation scrambled and harder to deal with.
Hope Mangiafico (19:29)
Yeah, and you know, Nikki, in a previous statement you made, you were like, you know, sometimes we're like, God, you didn't show up. So it's like not only his timeline,
But are we thinking like him? Like are we defining what his showing up is by our own expectations or by the truth of his character? And a lot of times it's our own expectations.
Nikki Humphrey (19:52)
That's right. And that's where the enemy comes in because the enemy wants you to think that God has left you, God didn't hear you, God turned your back on you. That is a lie. That is a flat out bull hooky lie. When that thought comes in, you have to rebuke it. Like you have to rebuke it with praise, worship, surrender, and just an outpouring of everything you know, like you just said.
Hope Mangiafico (19:54)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (20:21)
hope about God's character as fast as you can. Cause we've talked about it in plenty of episodes. So it's that the enemy wants to come in in those moments and break you even further and pull you away and isolate you and make you think like, it's too bad. know, God didn't show up. You know, it's probably cause you're this X, Y, and Z and you always do this. And yeah, that is a lie.
Hope Mangiafico (20:23)
As fast as you can.
Exactly.
Nikki Humphrey (20:51)
That is a lie.
Hope Mangiafico (20:52)
And when you believe it, think about it in your mind as we talked about responding quickly. Think about, and sometimes that's hard and God has grace. this isn't so much a comment about God's grace and your lack in abilities. It's more about to help empower you and strengthen you and realign yourself so you can be bound up in your heart.
is every time we delay or listen to those lies, we're providing energy to the enemy. That is fuel for him. And we do not want to give him any energy. And he feeds off the hurt. He really does. It's like, always, I now, okay, how do I say this? Another good illustration, which might change people's perspective on a movie, but I really think it's a
good illustration is like Monsters, Inc. How the monsters got the energy from the screaming. Think about that as like every time you respond to the enemy's lies, it's just fuel filling up these batteries for him to keep going, you know? Like it's a good illustration, unfortunately, of that truth.
Nikki Humphrey (22:05)
And even a couple episodes back, we talked about locking in with Jesus. Like I am locked in with Jesus. Like just those simple things will cause the enemy to flee. And that reminded me of John 17 10, where it says, I am yours and you are mine. Like that's what God says. I am yours and you are mine. That locking in, right? He's there for us. We're there for, he's like.
Hope Mangiafico (22:09)
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Mm.
Nikki Humphrey (22:36)
Like if somebody said that to you, like, am yours and you are mine. You just feel cherished and understood and protected and a covering that comes over you.
So many times we're fighting against God and sometimes we just have to be still and know that he's with you.
Hope Mangiafico (22:49)
Not beautiful.
Absolutely. And you'll go through seasons of life where that stillness is a big part of your season and watch him, watch him move. Let him, let him move on your behalf. Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (23:12)
And that's what I heard. I should hope. I'm like, and then I heard like, sometimes we just need to be with God, right? Stop fighting with him. Stop arguing with him. Just sit down and let him minister to you and see what comes up. And I heard, let God's whooshing come in. And I was like, whooshing? God, what is this whooshing?
after I meditated on it for quite a while after I heard this. Hope has a good point about this too, but to me, God's whooshing, it's the sense of God's presence sweeping into a space. So when you're in God and you're surrendering, it's like God's presence coming in. It's sweeping in a warm, a warming, a peace, a softening of your heart. Again, which is so important. It's not always dramatic. It's often just a...
Hope Mangiafico (23:47)
Hmm.
Nikki Humphrey (24:08)
quiet little shift that you feel like that prickling of your skin or just that warming in your body or just a calmness or peacefulness that comes over you. It's a loosening of clenched hands and a deep breath and sometimes a tear that makes a little extra room in you for healing.
Hope Mangiafico (24:10)
Mm.
That's the truth getting it to process out getting that emotion that energy moving out of your body to get the whole process beginning. That's that's beautiful. Yeah, you shared that with me and immediately
I was thinking about the Hebrew word and take it or leave it as proper ⁓ annunciation. But I recall it being said as Ruach, which means spirit, breath, or wind. It is the breath of God. And so it's his breath. Just allow it to whoosh over you and to do all of those things that Nikki mentioned. But that's immediately the word that came to me. It is his actual breath.
and he breathed life in the beginning. It's his breath that brought Adam to life.
Nikki Humphrey (25:18)
Hmm?
full circle moment, like you talked about hope, the enemy tries to steal our breath.
Hope Mangiafico (25:29)
Yes, exactly!
Nikki Humphrey (25:31)
And God made us out of his breath, right? Like he breathed life into us.
Hope Mangiafico (25:38)
It's incredible and it shows how important the breath is We take all these everyday life moments as just like, well, it's just another day of me being stressed out or worried. And it's literally taking away God's creation out of you.
We can't, we have to make it as big of a deal as it is. It's a big deal.
Nikki Humphrey (26:02)
It is.
Yeah. Yeah, because the absence of breath is death. Simple. Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (26:07)
minutes.
Right, period, and so every moment, every
moment that you're not able to, and I mean, it gets hard, and I know it does, to pause and just expand and let it out. ⁓ it's so good.
Let that be a goal. It's like that, it's like that you talked about the tear being shed to allow for that healing. A breath is still that movement out. We gotta make space on the inside by pushing stuff out, right?
Nikki Humphrey (26:44)
Yes,
it feels so good. It feels so good to finally breathe. And like you said, hope like sometimes you forget like you're not even breathing right because you get so used to it. Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (26:53)
No, seriously!
Exactly. Exactly. And you know that becomes your heart, your core belief that this is just how it is. This is just how I breathe so I don't think about it because this what I know.
but it's rooted in a broken heart. This is so good!
Nikki Humphrey (27:22)
And hope you made such a good point yesterday when we were talking about all of this. You were like, if we never had a broken heart, we wouldn't need Jesus.
Hope Mangiafico (27:34)
It's the truth. It is the truth. That's something that I wrote down again. And it's kind of using some of your terminology you already used. But brokenheartedness opens the door to let us witness in our reality the greatness of God. Without it, we'd have no need of Him, of Jesus. And I was just thinking out loud to the listeners,
What will you do today to let him in to bind you up and strengthen your belief in him?
And it's this beautiful thing like, I, this is really elementary, but like I drew a broken heart and when you have that, you have this space here, this void, if you will, right? And so that void comes when we experience the trauma and hardships in us and around us, which can even shatter us and create confusion because we have that misalignment with our spirit and souls. And so then our core beliefs get super shaken up, which is
Nikki Humphrey (28:15)
Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (28:40)
Honestly, that's the truth. It is at the end of the day. It's like, whoa, I have, what am I standing on now? I don't know what I stand on. Where's that firm foundation? All right, so that happens and that cracking happens. So we have two choices with that, again, showing like a broken heart with that void in between. We can either have the opportunity to let the healer in and bind us or
Nikki Humphrey (28:48)
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (29:08)
we can create a bigger divide between the two broken parts. And again, I know this is a cheesy looking heart, but it's a good visual. Create a bigger divide between the broken pieces of our heart by allowing the darkness to further confuse the truth of who and how God made us.
Nikki Humphrey (29:30)
I wrote the same thing for the one part. Going back to my notes, we always have a choice to go to God and let him fill our broken heart or go to someone else. Choose wisely.
Hope Mangiafico (29:31)
Hahaha
You
Mmm, I feel that. Choose wisely and that's why it's a good question of like, what will you do today to let him bind you up and strengthen your belief in him? We're pushing you to choose the best path, the path that Nikki and I could, if you were sitting right beside us right now, I believe we could watch the clock go around for 24 hours and her and I could share.
the power of every choice we made to let him in and bind us up piece by piece, pick up those shattered pieces and really open our arms and our minds and our actual hearts to that fleshy heart so he can mold it so we receive and share the good news of redemption and freedom that's found in Jesus.
Nikki Humphrey (30:41)
That reminds me of a client I had a long time ago. And they were always saying, but I could do life without Jesus. Like I can figure it out. Like I could do it. Like it's okay. And I'm like, absolutely. You absolutely can do life without Jesus. That's a choice. But what I know, what I know, what I know, what I know, what I know, what I know, know, what I know,
Hope Mangiafico (30:55)
Thank you.
Nikki Humphrey (31:09)
is life is always better with Jesus. It always is. You always have somebody showing up for you. You always have somebody advocating for you. You always have somebody on your team. You are never alone. You have a choice and you have to choose Jesus. But I can tell you living my life without Jesus for so long and living my life now with Jesus, it's drastically different.
Hope Mangiafico (31:23)
you
Nikki Humphrey (31:37)
So any of you listening, yes, absolutely you can do life alone, but it's so much better with Jesus.
It's not always easier and sometimes it's tougher, but it's always better at the end of the day.
Hope Mangiafico (31:51)
Yeah. Absolutely. It's so much better.
Ugh.
Nikki Humphrey (32:00)
Because I just, it's so much better and people feel like, well, why? How do you know it's so much better? Because when I wasn't with Jesus, I didn't want to be here, you know, six out of seven days of the week.
And now I don't feel that way at all.
Hope Mangiafico (32:16)
Yeah. And I mean, I can even say from a different perspective, because part of my testimony is like growing up, I always had a longing for him. It was evident and like reading the Bible for summer reading plans and like writing songs to him. Like it was evident, like I wanted him, right? I had that childlike-ness and I've kept that childlike-ness into adulthood. ⁓ But in that one, yeah, I'm gonna call it wandering. In that wandering,
of still trying to figure out who's hope. I went to different places and I can tell you, so I got baptized and gave my life in 2017, we're in 2025 right now. In those moments, every other outlet only gave a glimmer of hope and it was very temporary. And they would say some of the things that made me feel like, ⁓ that must be.
That must be part of that Jesus and God that I want. But it wasn't sustainable. It wasn't until I had my encounter and gave my life in 2017 that it has been a slow journey to Nikki's point about time. It has been slow. But every breakthrough, because I know myself quite well. I don't know everything. I got to go to him to kind of know my heart, right? He, he, he, he, he,
with my past, just like Nikki was familiar with not wanting to be here six or seven days of the week. She knew when he came in that one away. I can say every time I had a breakthrough with Jesus, I felt something come off of me. Other people may not see it because some of this stuff, like I talked about the heart, the definition of heart, is your core belief. No one really knows your core belief because you don't either. It's like dissociation. It's protection. People don't know it. You don't know it.
until you feel it fall off and you're like, whoa, whoa. And that happened every time and continues to happen today because like we talked about earlier when you were sharing parts of what you're teaching about broken heartedness and letting him in and then I complimented by saying like and do it quickly or to dismiss the lies, do it quickly.
Today I was doing something and I was like, okay God, I've gotten so familiar with your conviction and with the yuck that I know is not from you because I'm gaining more and more understanding about your character. I quickly felt it. I turned to him and I did whatever was on my heart, what I felt like the Lord through the Holy Spirit was telling me to do and bam. I was like, I think that just came off in about 30 seconds. You can't do that without him.
Nikki Humphrey (35:09)
God did the same thing when I was in church and all this was being revealed. And I was just like, what is the key contributing factor to my broken heart right now, And he was like, pride, just like dropped it, like boom. Like I was just waiting for you to ask, it's pride. It's pride, Nikki. And so I had to work through all of that with my father asking questions. Like Hope and I are always big about asking questions. Like what kind of pride did it?
Hope Mangiafico (35:22)
Mmm.
Nikki Humphrey (35:38)
is it? How did it come in? How am I utilizing pride in my life? How am I being prideful? How is that affecting others around me? How is that affecting me? How is that affecting our relationship, God? And you just keep asking question after question after question and He'll reveal it all to you. It'll all come bubbling up. Maybe at that time, maybe in chunks, it's God's...
Hope Mangiafico (35:42)
Yeah. Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (36:07)
God's timing has a pace, but he kind of just revealed it all to me in one chunk because I think he was just waiting for me to turn and ask him and for him to drop that in me. His pride, Dinky. Okay, okay, now we got it. Now we got some talking to do, And you can work it out with your father.
Hope Mangiafico (36:26)
And that's, I remember you sharing that with me yesterday and I was like that's probably no coincidence that was the first thing that the Lord brought to my attention on the episode of How to Love Like God.
Pride was the number one thing and I have had layers of work with the father about Pride. And it can be like Nicky, a moment where he's just waiting and he gives you a whole download or it's just like the onion. really, the beauty is he knows what you need when and how it won't break him. We've talked about that a million times. ⁓ But there's no coincidence that that was the first trait in which the Lord's like, yeah, this is one of the greatest divides.
Nikki Humphrey (37:03)
Yeah, and that's just, it's a simple question. Not simple, not easy, just like, God, what's the main contributor to my broken heart right now? Show it to me, God, reveal it to me.
Hope Mangiafico (37:16)
Okay, I have a question for you after I make the statement.
Nikki Humphrey (37:19)
Yeah.
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (37:23)
I was in a text thread with some, that's not true, text message, text thread, whatever you wanna call it. And they had a lot of, they had major deliverance. And they were saying that it was based off some trauma in their past. And it was so, so hard to let it go. And I think it boiled down to an event which led to fear of abandonment. And they were so afraid to release it because as we've talked about, it's what they were.
Nikki Humphrey (37:41)
Mmm.
Hope Mangiafico (37:53)
I'm most familiar with. And when they shared that with me, and they are 61 now, and this was an event that happened to them when they were like in single digits, I think, of age. So they've been carrying it around for a long time. And that got me thinking to the Lord of like my last couple weeks where He's been doing some heavy work in me. They're quick, but it's heavy. And I have noticed it's been very hard.
for me to speak out loud like, yes, Lord, take it.
Did you experience that or do you ever experience that? Because I find that I guess those are the things that become that core belief in our heart that almost like keeps that heart continually broken, right? And so it's like.
And it's so challenging. And so did you experience that and have you experienced that?
Nikki Humphrey (38:50)
Girl, yes, I used to even teach on this. I used to say like, it's so easy to give God those things that are easy to give him. And you know, they're not easy, but those things that, you know, like everybody's repenting of or anybody is, you know, we just do it. You're just like, ooh, it feels good. It feels good. It feels good. And I said, when I was teaching one day, like, y'all, I finally figured out what that little pocket in the blue jeans is for. You know, you have that little pocket and then you have the big pocket.
Hope Mangiafico (39:04)
Yes, it is.
Okay.
Nikki Humphrey (39:21)
I'm like, that little pocket is where you store that little piece of pain that you don't want to give to God yet because it's so a part of your identity and who you were and what you've become and what fueled your actions for so long. Sometimes we just wanna, we're afraid to give it to God because we don't know who we're gonna be once we give it to him.
Hope Mangiafico (39:49)
Right, and you don't always know what's in the pocket and I think that's where like so much of what you say is so true and I listen to you and I'm thinking I'm like God, but you're so good that I don't even know what's in my pocket, but you show me and then once he reveals it that's when it's like ⁓ to Nicky's point. ⁓
Nikki Humphrey (39:53)
All right.
Hope Mangiafico (40:07)
been there a long time and it's how I it's like
Nikki Humphrey (40:09)
That's like
a little piece of paper you're like ⁓
Hope Mangiafico (40:12)
Yeah, it's like all of a sudden, because he reveals it, it's like your vision becomes 20-20 and quickly just like flying in front of you, you see how it's dictated so many parts of your life.
Nikki Humphrey (40:25)
Yeah, I tell, I told the people in the class and I'm like, when you're doing, when you start giving this all to God and you don't want to give that piece of paper, it's like, once you take that little piece of paper out and he reveals to you what's on it, it's like that silly saying, once you think you're done, you've only just begun. So there's more, there's more, there's always more. And that's why we have to keep turning to God and turning to God and turning to God, because he's not going to give it to you all.
Hope Mangiafico (40:45)
That's true.
Nikki Humphrey (40:54)
We've talked about that many times. Peace by peace, one layer of healing at a time.
Hope Mangiafico (40:56)
Yeah.
Yeah. Something for me that happened just last week, and I feel like this will be ⁓ an encouragement. As I mentioned, I've been on the journey for a while, and I had major breakthrough recently, and something major happened last week. So much so that I was laying in bed with my husband, and my eyes were just watering, and I told him, I said,
I don't care what I have to do. I do not want to lose how I'm feeling now. I am willing to sell a house, go work 55,000 jobs as long as I do not voluntarily give up what I just was delivered from because I had never felt what I felt last week.
Now, and that's not to contradict what I shared about feeling the shifts every time, but to Nikki's point that it's little by little, not all at once, it's almost like all of a sudden, again, elementary visual here, broken heart, closed.
couldn't believe it. makes my eyes water thinking about it because I couldn't believe it. Finally, all the things of the world authentically didn't matter to me. I didn't care that I didn't finish whatever I was doing in the house. I didn't care that I was applying to stupid jobs that in the world's eyes were stupid, pointless jobs. I didn't care. If I get
Nikki Humphrey (42:33)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (42:37)
a job that's seemingly empty and pointless to other people, God gave it to me and will show up and I'll still be happy because I chose my Jesus to heal me in that moment and I will never go back because I refuse.
Nikki Humphrey (42:48)
That's right. Yes. I felt it. Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (42:52)
That conviction hit me last week. A refusal I don't think I had in me. Until last week.
So it takes time. But it is wonderful.
Nikki Humphrey (43:09)
I just felt like the all of Heaven's hype squad was celebrating with you Hope. Like they were on it, on it, getting it. Like yes. Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (43:17)
you
Yeah, can't wait to be a part of that. ⁓ But we'll do it now. We'll represent it now.
Nikki Humphrey (43:26)
I'm
sorry. On Earth as it is in Heaven.
Hope Mangiafico (43:31)
Absolutely! Amen, sister.
Nikki Humphrey (43:34)
Mm-hmm.
And I had Romans 8.31, if God is for us, who can be against us? Like we have to give God our yes to open the door for God to have your yes and to open our heart for healing.
Hope Mangiafico (43:58)
Exactly.
Nikki Humphrey (44:01)
Yeah, because God be for us, who can be against us? Nobody. Nobody.
Hope Mangiafico (44:08)
and keep
saying it until you believe it in your heart.
Nikki Humphrey (44:12)
That's right!
Hope Mangiafico (44:15)
man, let's all come in agreement to make it a goal to take head knowledge and turn it into heart, core belief knowledge and understanding. We all have progress to make on that because life has happened to all of us. But he knows it all.
Nikki Humphrey (44:35)
He does. He sure does. I think that will do it.
Hope Mangiafico (44:41)
I think that'll do it too, it's beautiful.
Nikki Humphrey (44:43)
Yes.
So thanks for joining us today. If today's message met your heart, I invite you to share it with somebody else who needs to hear that God is close to the brokenhearted. Remember, you have my yes, God. I open my heart to you. Until next time, be gentle with yourself, be bold and surrender and trust that he is always with you.
Hope Mangiafico (45:11)
Amen. Until next time.
