Nikki Humphrey (00:00)
Hi, I'm Nikki.
Hope Mangiafico (00:01)
Hi, I'm Hope. Welcome to Equipped Fellowship, where friends become family through Christ. We're two Jesus-loving friends on a mission to share personal stories, resources, and real talk about our triumphs, breakthroughs, struggles, and setbacks. Why? Because we believe you are called to live victoriously, and we're here to equip you with Holy Spirit-led tools and strategies to strengthen your faith, transform your mindset, and walk
boldly in God's promises because here's the truth. You've been given great and precious promises by God. So grab your coffee, lean in, and let's grow together. It's time to step into everything God has for you.
Nikki Humphrey (00:44)
And this week, we're stepping into community. And I know hope that you have something to say about this. I have something to say about it, so I'll let you kick it off.
Hope Mangiafico (00:47)
I was...
That sounds good. I was thinking as I was reading the intro, I'm like thinking about the precious gifts of God. I'm like in my head, I'm already thinking, thank you God for community and how you merge all that together. So it's exciting. And really, before I even talk at all about community, what the Lord has put on my heart throughout our recordings is to always express to the listeners that when we speak and we share and it's coming through us from the Holy Spirit, like
It can wreck our worlds too and we're growing and we say that, but I kid you not, like we wrapped up the previous episode about how to love like God and I mean, I still was like, God, you're crazy. Like you had me talking about some weird stuff, but wouldn't you know it that I actually was dealing with my own journey with the Lord because I'm constantly trying just like purge, get it out, you know? And I was like, God, I want to be more empathetic.
So I wasn't even really talking about love directly. I was just like, I want to have empathy instead of being, I mean, Nikki, you know me pretty well. Like I just had this warrior-ness about me all the time. And so it's like, let's just go and get over it. Okay. Like let's fight, let's go. And it's not that gentle. And honestly, you've helped me hearing you a couple episodes back Your heart towards the women when we released our
I think it was 18 squared, the overflow for forgiveness towards the women that dealt with forgiving themselves and hearing you embrace them. Instantly I was like, God, I want that heart for every person that crosses my path. I don't wanna be like, that's the enemy keeping you down, forgive yourself, look God. I want this gentleness. So what's crazy about that is as God was walking with me, and I'm Gerudo and I ain't gonna talk about all that.
But I was journaling so much and he said my sticking point in lacking empathy was pride. The number one thing we taught, like the first list from the previous week, right? And empathy is the love of God. And he was saying I was trusting my own knowledge and calling it stable instead of calling my God being the stability in my life. ⁓ He showed me I had false humility.
AKA, right? Like that's still pride. Because I was expressing humility like, well, you know, it's just my opinion, but like, whatever, doesn't matter. That's false humility and it still had pride attached to it. And humility is absolutely the opposite of pride and I was lacking it. I was like, what? It blew my mind. It was like this haughtiness that I didn't realize I had. So.
dealt with that with the Lord, like cool, relevant to the conversation we just had, because this happened like the day after, oddly enough. And then I get a shipment of this like, I guess I'll plant a little seed here. Nikki and I hope to, you know, in time, just express gratitude to individuals listening to the podcast and just give you something as a, thank you for being a listener. We love you, we're so grateful for you. And so we've been coming up with ideas. And I...
What cat cuckoo crazy and just got a bunch of sample things and I got this banner and it was first Corinthians 13 4 through 6 and it's so cute. Um, and Many of us know first Corinthians 13 4 through 6 even if you don't realize you know it because it's the love is patient Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud It does not dishonor others it is not self-seeking
It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." So this comes knocking on my door after, you know, in the process of the last episode and God revealed to me after I received it, like this truly expresses the opposite of the traits we discussed in the last episode.
And it dismantles those traits are pride, selfishness, bitterness, shame, rebellion, and lying. That's what we talked about when we talked about the episode of How to Love Like God. And God showed me that community brings all of this of 1 Corinthians out too, which bring us back into that cycle, back into the love of God. Community feeds us right into the love of God and helps us.
just continue to prosper and grow. I just, it's so hard to put into words how cool God is and bringing all that together. But it was rooted in our episode, speaking to me, healing me, and then leading right into today's conversation. And I mean, I just, can't, I hope I never get over it, actually.
Nikki Humphrey (05:55)
And it sounds so cliche, but God is so good. He is such a loving father. He's always teaching. He's always opening doors. He's always giving us opportunities to improve ourselves, to invest in others, to receive loving corrections, to teach what he's teaching us to others. It is so cool.
Hope Mangiafico (06:15)
Yeah.
It's so cool, so freeing, right? Like you don't have to figure it all out yourself. He brings it all together in crazy ways. you know, I was in conversation with someone recently and, this might be a conversation, honestly, a podcast episode about why people struggle with a God that wants like glory and like why we would want to serve him. And I just sat there when they were expressing that to me and I'm like,
Why would I not want to be a daughter of a king that has given me so much greatness and like it allows me to just be, still fight, be armored up and ready, but I don't have to force love, know, ⁓ being kind and all of these things that love is and I get to be around like-minded people that produce this good fruit in me.
And so I'm fired up to talk about community because they absolutely do all of these things that 1 Corinthians says and brings me back to love of God for me and for others.
Nikki Humphrey (07:24)
And this is what I know, what I know, what I know, what I know. And God has taught me life feels so heavy when you try to do it alone. Because inherently we all crave belonging, support and encouragement, but finding true community can feel complicated. I know for me it has been, I know for hope it has been, I know for a lot of others it can be really complicated.
Hope Mangiafico (07:33)
Mm.
Yes.
Nikki Humphrey (07:53)
Sometimes it happens through a friend, a coincidence, a God wink, a God, like how hope and I like a God ordained moment that neither one of us could anticipate it or just simply being at the right place at the right time, right? But here's the truth. God
Hope Mangiafico (08:05)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (08:11)
designed us for community period from the very beginning. God made it clear. It's not good for man to be alone. Genesis 2, 18.
He never intended us to journey out our walk of faith, our life with an isolation. So today we're talking about why community matters, how to find it and how the enemy, right here people, I'm gonna say this again, how the enemy uses loneliness to keep us stuck. He has done that to me time and time and time again.
Hope Mangiafico (08:53)
Isolation and it feels safe and it feels Almost like quote-unquote good because you're like I'm working on myself, right? ⁓ I have a real guilty of that ⁓ and it what but what what what at the end of the day? It's the enemy's tool But what else is it when you do that? You're actually enable gazing you're making it about you
Nikki Humphrey (09:08)
Mm-hmm.
Hope Mangiafico (09:22)
I've been so so guilty of that.
Nikki Humphrey (09:26)
Yeah, and I have, I've ripped myself out of community to isolate. The enemy has persuaded me that I was like, Hope just said, I was better off alone. I was working through some stuff that I don't, I shouldn't share my story with others. You know, I was, was in bondage with shame that the enemy kept bringing up. And I kept thinking like, I'm unworthy to hang out with these people because of X, Y, or Z. And I pulled away and I pulled away and I pulled away.
Hope Mangiafico (09:31)
Mm.
Hmm.
Nikki Humphrey (09:56)
And I probably pulled away from any sense of community for about three years. And it wasn't until this past May that I started reaching out to people, that I started to go out and do things with others where I put myself in situations that the anime made me feel that were uncomfortable. But when I spent time with my father, with God, he's like, it's not uncomfortable.
Hope Mangiafico (10:01)
Hmm
Nikki Humphrey (10:25)
Those are your friends. Those are your trusted people. You know, maybe not in my innermost circle, but those are some good quality people that I just turned my back on and cut and run away, ran away from them. I just know by reaching out and reconnecting with them, like they are now assets in my life.
And I missed that, I missed that so much. And you don't realize how much you missed it until you are away from it like I was for three years and step back into it.
Hope Mangiafico (11:00)
I feel that. ⁓ And what, as you're sharing, what comes to mind as, you know, I was talking to Lauren about community myself, ⁓ is like,
Part of the reason too I think we may pull away or have some confusion is going back to comparison and I feel like I have defined community wrong. So I've had expectations maybe because I've compared to other groups and watching them and I don't have that, you know? And that actually I think put me personally in a big choke hold that I feel like I couldn't get out of which led to further isolation because
I don't have that, that I'm seeing elsewhere.
Nikki Humphrey (11:42)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. And I think sometimes for me, the enemy would distort things, you know, because maybe some of these people aren't like believers like Hope and I are, and maybe we don't have the same, you know, religious, I don't know, things. Like, not all the boxes align. I guess that's what I'm trying to say in a really simplistic term. And so I was thinking like every box had one align, but it doesn't.
There can be this beautiful relationship, this beautiful merging to see like Hope was talking about empathy earlier, to see other people's points of view and to see what they believe and still love and respect them even if they a hundred percent don't agree with what I believe and vice versa with them. No relationship is...
perfect. No community of people is
Hope Mangiafico (12:42)
.
Nikki Humphrey (12:44)
perfect. We are all human. We all make mistakes. And that's what I really had to remember. Like not everybody has to be locked up with me. know, nobody, nobody really has a relationship like Hope and I do. Like not everything's going to be like that. And we're not, Hope and I aren't even the same on everything either.
Hope Mangiafico (13:04)
Well, you know, I was just thinking like, yeah, you have your different circles. You got the close center and then you kind of grow in different sized circles.
But as you're speaking, Nikki, and like, yeah, you and I are really close in the most aligned that I have in my life. ⁓ But I feel like God is saying while you were speaking, there's a reason why one person doesn't check all the boxes, because then what will you do? You'll rely on that person. You will accidentally turn them into a God in your life, an idol, because they check all the boxes for your needs.
Nikki Humphrey (13:34)
Mm-hmm.
Hope Mangiafico (13:42)
That's why that doesn't exist. Praise the Lord. I just, I, that was cool.
Nikki Humphrey (13:52)
And the scripture came to mind, 1 Peter 5, 8 says, lot of you probably know it, your enemy, the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Lions don't chase the herd, they chase the one who's alone. It's so much easier to hear the enemy's voice if we are alone than if we are in community.
Hope Mangiafico (14:06)
Mmm.
That's really good. That's really good. Wow, I've never read that scripture in that way.
Nikki Humphrey (14:30)
No, neither did I, honestly. But if I think back on my life, I'd be like, bingo, that's it.
Hope Mangiafico (14:34)
Wow, that's so cool.
You know, curiously of your response to this, Nikki, I do find that God does call me into a little bit more isolation. ⁓ And they can look the same, but I feel that how I'm feeling internally is something I have to be very attuned to in those seasons because you can quickly step into like real withdrawal versus like isolation so you can
Declutter, right? Get the noise out. And so I don't know if you have a personal story that can describe that a little bit better, because I'll be honest, I can get very confused when I really am like, I'm overwhelmed. I need to pull back from everything. then God, please just don't let me pull back for three years. But it's easy to do. So I don't know if you have any thoughts on that.
Nikki Humphrey (15:13)
Hmm?
So what I think as you're speaking, like before you even ask my thoughts about something was already bubbled up. I would say like the technical term would be like, I'm a extroverted introvert. There are times when I really like to be around community. I really like to be around people, but then I need to back up.
and recharge. Like I cannot live 24 seven around people, things, noise, extra stimulus. Like, no, I like small chunks. And then I like to recharge kind of like a couple episodes. We called it like the Jesus model. He did things and then he spent time with his father. And then he spent time with his father and then he went and did things. And I say similarly,
That's how I am with people and community. can't be around it 24 seven, but the time that I do spend around people, like it to be quality time. don't like it to be fluff. You know, I like to, to spend my time with people who I really cherish and adore. And, and then I like to retreat. And I think that for me,
Hope Mangiafico (16:30)
Hmm
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (16:58)
That's a great way to balance my life and what
Hope Mangiafico (17:02)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (17:04)
I need. And that's why boundaries, and we talked about this in other episodes, like you can't say yes to everybody just because you think it's going to make you more likable or that's the right thing to do. ⁓ if people, a thing, a request is not for you, then it has to be a no because then it's not in alignment.
of what God's purpose is in your life.
Hope Mangiafico (17:29)
Yeah. Yeah. And you know,
I believe, and we may have even hit on this previously, very briefly, that I've even had a distorted view of community because I would overextend all in the name of community. It's like, and it's not at the fault of others, honestly, but it's like you might hear a nugget in a church sermon about community and instead of taking it as a nugget, you take it as an entire.
meal, if you will, and so you root everything in that. And so then you overextend in everything instead of just making it a piece of the puzzle. And I have done that in a lot of aspects of my walk with Jesus, you know, because you know it's important, but you don't understand how it comes together in the bigger picture.
Nikki Humphrey (18:09)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. And like you were saying, Hope, like society and sometimes a church, and know social media, they're like, sisterhood and we're a tribe and we're the, you know, and so you think you need to have this big, like you're rolling deep with your sisterhood and your community, but it's not like that all the time. Sometimes you might go do a big community event, but most of the time it's just,
Hope Mangiafico (18:30)
Yes.
Nikki Humphrey (18:51)
Just your little core group rolling around, meeting for coffee, going for a walk, whatever.
Hope Mangiafico (18:53)
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely. And going back to like the concept too of like you've got the core group like you're saying, but there's this concept and I think you've even almost said this in a previous episode. Like some people they're in your life for a reason.
a season, some are a lifetime. I think I hungered for lifetime friends so much that I was almost blind in not seeing the reason and season friends. ⁓ And I heard that saying many years ago and I really loved it because it helped me be more open to receiving community in a different way. And knowing that
Not everything has to be forever. Not everything has to be permanent. ⁓ God's doing something in every single relationship that we have. But it can be really hard to wrap your mind around.
Nikki Humphrey (19:55)
sure it can.
Hope Mangiafico (19:58)
because I wanted lifetime friends because I do see a lot of people that have quote unquote lifetime friends. There's so many people I went to high school with, Nikki, that are still all together. And I mean, we're talking like 12 people, but then I'm like, wait, but would I actually want that? No, because I'm not who I was in high school. Praise God. Right? It's like talking about people wanting the old Nikki, old Hope bag, right? No.
Nikki Humphrey (20:17)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (20:26)
don't want that, but if I'm not careful, I'm like, man, how cool is that? They've known each other and been close for like 20 some odd years.
Nikki Humphrey (20:35)
Yeah. Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (20:40)
I actually don't authentically think it would be good for me, but I still wanted it. So it's just, it's just interesting. And I wanted to share like just these parts of my personal struggle too with it because we have this hole in us that longs for belonging. know, you know, often here like we have a guide shape hole, which is absolutely true. But in that guide shape hole, there are other pieces in it like community, like...
Nikki Humphrey (21:05)
Mm-hmm.
Hope Mangiafico (21:07)
I opened up saying how it points you back to the love of God and loving like God. You need it. Just what does that actually look like? And also knowing that it will look different for each person.
Nikki Humphrey (21:08)
Thanks
Yes, you do need it.
Hope Mangiafico (21:24)
And that's okay.
Nikki Humphrey (21:28)
And that brings me to this, like, so how do we actually find the kind of community that God wants for us? That's a big question. I know, you know, I just said that I had three years where I didn't have any community. And it seems like for me, like it goes in cycles. I remember like in my early thirties, I didn't have any community and I felt like I'd never find any community. And then I found some.
Hope Mangiafico (21:32)
Yes.
Nikki Humphrey (21:54)
And then like same thing in my early forties and now I'm 51. So it does seem to be about every 10 years, something gets a little twisted, but I, I put five ways that I found community, some God centered community for me. And this is probably different from everybody, but it might be helpful. So through proximity, like that's how Hope and I met. ⁓
I knew somebody named Liana, so did Hope. We all went to an event together and that's how I met Hope. Proximity. Hope has a friend, Britt, who she's going to be on a podcast soon. ⁓ same thing, Hope introduced me to her. So it's just sometimes through proximity, meeting people through people.
Hope Mangiafico (22:35)
Yes.
Right. put a little like star beside that proximity doesn't mean you'll always be in the same room together. It's just having that common friend. ⁓ Because I know for you and I both, man, we hungered for like close friends that were in the same room right here. ⁓ And you and I have not been in the same room very many times. So I just wanted to put a little asterisk. Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (23:02)
That's right.
Thank
Right, keep going.
Right. But it's like that proximity between one person to another, you you could almost
say through person to person, know, like somebody introduce you. Yeah, but you know, I was thinking like proximity, one person's close to another, and then they introduce you to them. So that's awesome. And sometimes it's through coincidence. What looks like a random connection may be a divine.
Hope Mangiafico (23:25)
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Absolutely. ⁓
Nikki Humphrey (23:46)
Sometimes God just places people right in your path that you could never, that's like how hope was too. Like again, these can be more than one, but sometimes you're just in the right place at the right time and you make a connection with somebody and you're like, wow, that was so awesome.
And again, it could just be for that moment. It
could be for a reason, a season, like her hope set a lifetime, right? A little story about that. I was in Sephora a couple months ago with my daughter and I was looking for something for my face. And this woman came up and she started talking. And then all of a sudden we started talking about Jesus back and forth. And like, you think so weird, two, one works. One Jesus girl works at Sephora and then one's a customer. And you're having this big...
Hope Mangiafico (24:24)
. .
Nikki Humphrey (24:40)
godly conversation in the middle of Sephora. So cool. Like we follow each other on social media. We don't really cross paths that often, but it was just like, that was so cool.
Like that was awesome. I know what she does. She knows what I do. And it's like maybe sometime in the future, who knows, but it's so cool. Or like a coffee shop I went ⁓ up by my cabin.
Hope Mangiafico (24:54)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (25:10)
I walked in there, I didn't even realize it was a faith-based coffee shop right by my cabin. And it was, I walked in, was so cool. And the people were so amazing. And I'm in contact with them now. And it just, it just feels like a warm hug. Total coincidence. Never would have thought of it on my own, but sometimes it just happens.
Hope Mangiafico (25:29)
Hmm.
Yes, absolutely. It's making me laugh. Coincidence, but is it really? That's what my brain's saying. This is great. I love it.
Nikki Humphrey (25:44)
Yeah.
God had it all lined up. And sometimes through mutual interest. Earlier I talked about in my thirties, I didn't really have any friends, but then I started running. I started doing triathlon. I joined some groups. I met a whole big community that I stayed with for most of my thirties, just through the sports that I love.
Maybe you have a hobby, maybe you're into the arts, maybe you're creating, maybe you like to volunteer. God often uses those things we naturally enjoy to bring people together.
Hope Mangiafico (26:25)
Absolutely, it's good stuff.
Nikki Humphrey (26:28)
Yeah. And then the last one I had through the local church. This one seems to me like for me, I know there's people in my church that, mean, they're at lock and stuff and they have their very good friends at the church. But for me, I join, I like to join small groups and these are usually like my seasonal homies, you know, like we're going through stuff, we're sharing.
Hope Mangiafico (26:33)
Of course.
Nikki Humphrey (26:59)
everything that's coming up in the study, we're working through a lot of hard stuff. And then the group is over and we kind of go our own ways. But through your local church, you can find, you know, in small groups or serving on teams or like hope, join the choir, know, Bible studies. You can build some really good connections through your local church. Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (27:08)
Can I share a quick story though? Because
you mentioned the choir and this is, it shows how God continuously expounds on the journey. So,
I always wanted to be like a worship leader of some sort. This girl has no singing background, mind you, zero, so it's not a thing. I just really wanna put that out there. But I've always loved worshiping. And so two churches ago, I was just like, man, how fun would that be? So we are in this newer church over the past couple of years, newer for us. And just on a summer, summer day, worshiping on a Sunday and this lady behind me picked up on how passionate.
Passionate of a worshiper. She can't hear me. She's behind me, but she invited me to choir. Okay, so that's the first step I was like well shoot Yeah, cuz I've been watching our worship team and I think I love I just I loved their heart loved I live it I didn't know I could join player. I thought you had to have additions you did not perfect so Anyways, I joined choir meet a really great friend through choir But what's wild is that lady behind me that invited me to choir because she was already in it
Nikki Humphrey (28:18)
Thank
Hope Mangiafico (28:30)
can't even know if I can tell this story straight because it's so wild. Her husband had a men's group that he has started and it is the same men's group in which I saw a business card of in my post office a year before. And Sean joined that men's group. And it was life changing for Sean.
Nikki Humphrey (29:03)
There's no coincidences. No coincidences.
Hope Mangiafico (29:04)
still to this day. could,
I scrolled back through my text to Shawn, I don't delete things, to see when I sent him a picture of the business card.
It's one of my favorite stories. It's like a combination, I feel like, the things you were listing. They all boil down to really being present where you are and let God move. Because I was in the church, it felt like a coincidence. then, it's like a bomb goes off, you know, all at once. just, I don't know, I feel like it boils down to being content with where God has you.
Nikki Humphrey (29:28)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (29:48)
and want to move with no expectations. And that's my little hiccup. I have a lot. ⁓
Nikki Humphrey (29:57)
For me, oftentimes,
I was waiting for community to come knocking on my door, but here I was in my house, like for the past three years, living in my house and got the community's not in your house, girl. You got to step out your door. You got to...
Hope Mangiafico (30:02)
Hmm.
And it's like, done,
but still we don't move. ⁓
Nikki Humphrey (30:17)
I mean, I go church, I come home, maybe I join a small group, but like I made my world so small. And I wasn't putting myself out there. And I wasn't talking to people when I went out into my community. And it's just like, yeah, no wonder I was feeling lonely. No wonder I was feeling like, you know, wondering, does nobody like me? Is there something wrong with me? You know, all those things that the enemy likes to plant in your head.
Hope Mangiafico (30:43)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (30:47)
And then God's like, ding dong, you just got to go out and talk to people. Connect.
Hope Mangiafico (30:55)
Well, I like that you're talking about going out because I do think a lot of times we think community. Our first thought is the local church to find it, but you just hit on like going out and talking to people, maybe when you're at the grocery store, right, in line or whatever. And I've gotten better at that as well because even if they don't become my best friend, I pray that our interaction bless the both of us.
and that comes with opening your mouth and speaking up. And it's not always easy because you were saying towards the beginning, Nikki, you were sharing your story of like feeling uncomfortable and God's like, it's not uncomfortable. A lot of times that is true. Like it's a story in our head that makes us feel uncomfortable, but you do still have to be willing. And I mean, I'm preaching to myself right now to push through that because God is so good that, and he redeems all things and works all things for our good that we just have.
to push through that discomfort and let him rewrite, rewrite it, you know, in our brain and it will change everything. And one time I heard this thing, I'm gonna completely butcher it so it's really irrelevant, the details, but it made me think about how this person said like you needed five different kinds of friends, which is one reason why they probably also don't check all the boxes. It's like you need the friend you can call when you're like all torn up, right, and like going through things.
You also need a friend that you call when you just need a good laugh. And you need a friend that if someone is being used by the enemy and speaking trash to you, they gonna fight for you. They're like, you need a fighter in your life. And they like had these different lists. And I was like, that's actually so true because I was wanting one person to be all that. But sometimes you just gotta have that scrappy friend over there that will respectfully say, absolutely not. You will not talk about my friend like that.
so funny and I'm like actually that's very true ⁓ that and you won't know that though until you open your mouth and get out and and see see what that does because it's like you want to be you want to be humble you want to be quiet in regard to like not creating strife ⁓
Nikki Humphrey (32:59)
That's
Hope Mangiafico (33:14)
we also have to be bold. It's like this crazy valence, right? So it's just, it's fun. I don't know. Figuring out a walk with the Lord in life along other people is actually pretty fun and it's pretty wild.
Nikki Humphrey (33:31)
So like you were saying Hope, God-centered friendships are not just nice extras, they're vital to us, right? So it's good to have different friends. You know, got your warrior, like this friend for this and this friend for that, and they all do us. But the thing about God-centered friends, and Hope touched on this a little bit, they pray with us when our faith feels weak, that agreement, just like, I know if I call Hope and I need prayer or like she needs, like we are on it.
Hope Mangiafico (33:40)
Okay.
Nikki Humphrey (34:01)
We are dropping right there and we are giving it all we have. And that is so comforting to know that
I have somebody like that in my life. This is another thing and ooh, this hurts sometimes. They remind us of the truth when we forget who we are.
Hope Mangiafico (34:19)
Yeah, amen.
Nikki Humphrey (34:21)
I know Hope sometimes been like, girl, you're in the wrong lane. You're in the curly queue. They carry our burdens and let us carry theirs. You sometimes you just have to stand in agreement with your friend. It doesn't mean literally because we
Hope Mangiafico (34:25)
Same Z's.
The same Z's.
Nikki Humphrey (34:46)
talked in hopes, talked with us in length on other episodes. Like we're not carrying, we're not piling their burdens on themselves, but we can have empathy for where they're at in their life. And we can.
A weird word's coming up and I should just say it. Like we honor them with compassion during that time. We don't pilot on ourselves, but we are compassionate about the burdens that they are carrying.
So the last point is they celebrate our victories with us. There's nothing better than picking up the phone or like Hope and I sending it each other in Marco Polo or meeting with a group of people and you're like, yes, what happened? And they know what you've been going through because they've been praying for you. They've been worrying for you. They've been empathetic to all that you're going through. And when you have that breakthrough and you have that victory when it's
like the report came back and you're just like, yes, Lord, thank you that they're all cheering with you. There's nothing like it. It's like your own heaven's hype squad here on earth.
Hope Mangiafico (35:49)
Absolutely.
I love that. And let me tell you something, because, you hit, the last two things you hit on is like something I really feel deep within me. And I want to say this as maybe just like a word to people. If you feel
that you do not have community and you almost feel like it's so far out of reach and maybe you're like, okay, Nikki and Hope, I've done these things. God may be preparing you for the community, because I will tell you, I was not good at celebrating other people when I was in my hole, and I would not have been a good community member. And I had to say that ⁓ from a personal testimony. Your girl was not a good community member. So just,
something to consider where you are in your life right now.
Nikki Humphrey (36:49)
That is the truth, Pope. That is the radical honesty I needed to hear because same. Same. I was in the middle of the community like with like, ⁓ so salty. So not coming from a God-centered empathetic place.
Hope Mangiafico (36:51)
You
Victories, I'm happy for you. Why I'm in a dumpster fire. I'm in a pit. Why should I celebrate you instead? I was being envious and Then the whole concept of carrying other people's burdens. I was too heavy Maplegazing, I'm too heavy right now. I can't help you. ⁓ Yeah, I I don't and again, it's never condemning when we say these things speaking from our own
Nikki Humphrey (37:18)
Hmm?
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (37:33)
but know that it's actually the goodness of God that he's walking you through becoming whole and who you were created from the beginning of time to give you the best community and you can give right back to your community.
Nikki Humphrey (37:48)
That is so good. ⁓ I'm gonna, yes.
Hope Mangiafico (37:50)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (37:55)
Yes. Like if you're in that place, we've all been there. We've all been there. So don't, don't be too hard on yourself. We've all, it's a learning process. Like all of us. It's simple, not easy.
Hope Mangiafico (38:10)
Right, or even like giving the example of the burden, something that freed me recently because I was always navel gazing, because I was always carrying something. honestly, that's just life, learning that, that is just the reality of life, that's how we grow. But someone recently told me that they were able to alleviate someone else's burden because God gave them the ability. And that actually freed me of some guilt that I did have.
of not being able to like, you have a need here's $100. ⁓ you need your child to be watched. Let me just go pick up everything and go watch your child. Like you can't be everything for everyone. So God will give you the ability when it's the right time to help alleviate someone's burden. There is a time for things. So I also wanted to mention that because when they said that, I felt my own burdens fall off because I had been trying to carry it for other people.
but God had not given me that ability at that time for that person.
Yeah, it's so freeing.
Nikki Humphrey (39:18)
So as I was going over my notes today, I'm gonna call, I call this a radical revelation that I titled this part. And I wrote, I know some of you are listening thinking, this is beautiful Hope and Nikki, but I'm still waiting. I'm still feeling lonely. I don't have that kind of community yet. If that's you, this next moment is for you.
Hope Mangiafico (39:47)
Mm.
Nikki Humphrey (39:48)
I put together some declarations to say over you. And then I have a little call and response at the end to say declarations over yourself because I know how alone and isolating and hopeless it can feel when you feel like you're just bumbling and stumbling through life alone and you feel like you're being zinged left and right. And you feel like you are doing
all the things and nothing's working out. But I want you to know that it can get better. So I'm gonna say these declarations now. Father, thank you that you see me. You know the ache in my heart to belong, to be known and to be surrounded by brothers and sisters who love me.
I declare today that I am not forgotten. You have a place for me. You are preparing relationships that will encourage me, strengthen me, and point me back to you. I rebuke the lie of isolation. I reject the enemy's whisper that says I am unworthy, unwanted, or alone. Your words say you will never leave me or forsake me. Deuteronomy 31-6.
I choose to believe your timing is perfect. While I wait, I will not lose hope. I will lean on you as my closest friend, my constant compassion, my ever present help. Lord, make me ready. Shape me into the kind of friend I long to find, faithful, encouraging, prayerful, and honest. And in this closing declaration,
Hope Mangiafico (41:19)
.
Nikki Humphrey (41:36)
I want you to repeat after me. I am not alone.
Hope Mangiafico (41:41)
I am not alone. I belong to God.
Nikki Humphrey (41:43)
I belong to God.
And he is leading me.
Hope Mangiafico (41:49)
and he is leading me into community.
Nikki Humphrey (41:51)
into community that
will build me up.
Hope Mangiafico (41:56)
that will build me up and glorify him. Until then, I walk with joy.
Nikki Humphrey (41:57)
and glorify Him.
Until then, I walk with joy.
knowing he is enough for me today.
Hope Mangiafico (42:09)
Knowing Key.
is enough for me today. Wow, amen. That is one heck of a declaration. And you know what's really fun is I'm wearing this necklace. I don't know when I got it, but you know, Nikki, for your birthday, your 50th birthday, I gave you that bracelet, like the prophetic jewelry. This is a necklace they sent for one of the months a little while back and it literally said community now. And I was like, well, I'm wearing this today.
Nikki Humphrey (42:16)
Man.
Hope Mangiafico (42:39)
And what you just declared at the end sounded like a card that would have come with this necklace, you know, of the truth. And I love that. I can absolutely attest that what you just declared aligns with the heavens, aligns with the heart of God, and I will say that'll do it.
Nikki Humphrey (42:59)
That'll do it. Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (43:00)
That's so good. Community now.
Community now. Getting you ready for it, guys. Get excited. Fire it up.
Nikki Humphrey (43:07)
Hmm?
That's right. If this episode encouraged you, share it with someone else who may feel lonely right now. Sometimes one step of obedience, sending a text, starting a conversation could be the spark that builds community in your life. Remember you are equipped, you are loved, and you are never alone.
Hope Mangiafico (43:30)
Amen. Until next time.
