Nikki Humphrey (00:00)
Hi I'm Nikki
Hope Mangiafico (00:01)
I'm Hope. Welcome to Equipped Fellowship where friends become family through Christ. We're two Jesus-loving friends on a mission to share personal stories, resources, and real talk about our triumphs, breakthroughs, struggles, and setbacks. Why? Because we believe you are called to live victoriously and we're here to equip you with Holy Spirit-led tools and strategies to strengthen your faith, transform your mindset, and walk boldly in God's promises. Because here's the truth.
You have been given great and precious promises by God. So grab your coffee, lean in, and let's grow together. It's time to step into everything God has for you.
Nikki Humphrey (00:42)
Let's step into it. I want to step in everything that God has for you and I hope for all of you listening, for all of you watching. That is just too important to miss out on because if we're not walking in our God given identity, then we are living a lie.
Hope Mangiafico (01:06)
I mean, as rough as that sounds, it's true. It's like it is the truth. And you know, that feeds so well into our topic today about, in God's terms, being unapologetically you. ⁓ And you know, I have to say, I actually did the little random thought I think the Holy Spirit gave me from the last episode about writing, like spending five minutes of writing down what's important to you, because what does that mean? That means you're tapping into what matters to you, not what the world.
Nikki Humphrey (01:08)
Yes! ⁓
Hope Mangiafico (01:36)
saying and it brought me so much clarity which honestly stemmed from me trying to pull from what other people were prioritizing in their own lives right and so I felt like empowered it's like no coincidence God has this being the follow-up from the last episode of like okay God yes I can be fully and step into fully who you call hope to be Nikki can do that the listeners can do that
We just have to lock it, lock in on his words and what he says. Again, that's also for previous episodes. Like, I don't know. It just fired me up. like, dang Lord, thank you for that clarity of telling me to sit down and make that list. Cause I lost clarity.
Nikki Humphrey (02:26)
It's so easy to lose clarity.
because it's the enemy's main agenda to have us lose clarity.
Hope Mangiafico (02:35)
That's very true. That's a really good way to put it. Yeah. And clarity, you know, makes me think of the scripture of like, God's not the author of confusion. So clarity is the opposite of confusion.
Nikki Humphrey (02:52)
I got this download just now. It's like God puts all of our ingredients. Pretend you have a big stew pot on your stove and God puts in all your ingredients. You're fearfully and wonderfully made. He puts them all together, but the enemy loves to stir them up and manipulate them to make them into something that it wasn't meant to be.
Hope Mangiafico (03:14)
⁓
That's really amazing. That's so true. It's like our response to everything being in the pot and how it's being stirred ⁓ creates the outcome. Is it making a nice, beautiful soup? Or is it making like rotten chicken? I don't know.
But like, it's like, you know, is it going to have a sweet taste or is it going to be bitter? Our response to that.
Nikki Humphrey (03:42)
Right. Absolutely.
Hope Mangiafico (03:46)
Wow, that's really, really good. And, you know, kind of complimenting that something I felt like the Lord wanted me to share, which I had my notes up on the screen and I lost it. So give me just a millisecond. I actually just yesterday re-listened to our episode of the Quiet Strength of Joy, and I heard all of my questioning and my struggle and just, you know, really in that moment being authentic.
to where I was in that moment to the journey, right? Like being unapologetically like, this is my hands up, like I'm struggling right now. Nikki, help a sister out like you do. Like it's sisterhood, please come in. And ⁓ as I was listening to it yesterday, God showed me the breakthrough I've had since that episode. So it was two recordings ago, I believe. And at that time,
He was highlighting to me that the tension I was feeling when we were recording that was because I was uncomfortable and I had fear knocking on the door and I could sense a change coming. And to be honest, I still get nervous when change is being stirred up due to deeper wounds, right? As we say, it's an onion. So it's like I've grown, but I'm not fully there. We're not at the center yet, right? ⁓ Because it would be too painful.
And so anyways, he was highlighting to me, like, that's what led me to ask all those questions. And I feel him so kindly saying to me and anyone else that may be from that episode that could relate to the questions I asked, he's saying, you're doing better than you think you are. And I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you for being authentic to where you are on the journey. I'm proud of you for not wearing the mask. You, you referenced Nikki about just like flying through the mask, right? Like I'm so proud of you and you're doing so well.
and keep going.
Nikki Humphrey (05:40)
Yes. Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (05:43)
And it's not a bad thing to have questions. so as you're figuring out how you're going to respond to all this stuff that's in your life and that pot you're talking about, or this like kettle or whatever, ⁓ it's beautiful. And you want to ask questions. So the outcome is that sweetness, not the bitterness.
Nikki Humphrey (06:03)
Yeah, and so many people that we run into that we navigate that are in our inner circles as well as our outer circles, they sometimes question, cause us to question our God given identity. You talked about an episode or two, like people were telling you, I wish the old hope would come back or the old hope will come back soon. Like, don't worry, she's coming back. And you're like, no, she's not coming back. That was...
Hope Mangiafico (06:22)
Right, right.
Bye.
Nikki Humphrey (06:32)
not walking in my God-given identity. That was a manipulation of my God-given identity. I want to walk in my God-given one.
Hope Mangiafico (06:42)
Right, and that makes me think about like if someone says that to you and we talked about how we get their intent, like we have compassion for where they're coming from, right? It makes me think of where again, it's on this pot. You have the chance to say, man, they need the old me, so I tap into their needs or I tap into my need so I can actually fully love them well.
Because if I choose to tap into my need, which is becoming a better version, I don't even know if that's the right way to say it. But I'm tapping into more wholeness, then the fruit is going to be so much sweeter.
Nikki Humphrey (07:20)
Mm-hmm.
And isn't it strange? I know this is probably tapping into your story and this is probably where the root of it was coming from the person's intention behind what they say, but isn't it funny every time I make these life changes and I'm walking more into my God given identity, people question it. And then I find myself apologizing because...
Hope Mangiafico (07:49)
Mmm.
Nikki Humphrey (07:50)
I did the hard work. I'm growing. I'm changing. I'm being more obedient to what God has to say and people question that and I find myself apologizing for having spiritual growth and
It hurts my heart when I have to do that. And I think back of all the times that I apologize for growing my relationship with God.
Hope Mangiafico (08:14)
Hmm. Yeah. And you know, I don't know if I've ever really processed that the way that you just shared that you it's been highlighted to you in your journey. And I don't know if I've seen it highlighted in mine, but I can see that maybe I don't outwardly apologize, but I carry it as like a burden of like, well, should I almost like feel bad, right? ⁓
You know you're changing for the better, because these people are so I don't like to necessarily say it's a ranking, right? But let's just say they're here and they're stuck and you're here. We can here it is. I think we can feel like we need to apologize or feel bad about it as a form of sympathy or empathy, depending on the situation. And yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (09:07)
Mm-hmm.
Hope Mangiafico (09:14)
I think that's the way it's manifested for me.
Nikki Humphrey (09:18)
Hmm.
Hope Mangiafico (09:18)
And you know, to be honest, Nikki, I feel like most women in general, due to again, past wounds, trauma, whatever it may be, apologize too much anyways, and we have actually removed the power of apologies and repentance anyways.
Nikki Humphrey (09:39)
I agree with that. Wholeheartedly. I see it a ⁓ lot in the younger people that I life coach, even in my daughter and her friend group. They just throw around like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, like a box of Band-Aids, just throwing and hoping that an apology will stick. But none of the apologies are sincere and heartfelt and...
I see a lot of just, I'm just gonna say it just to say it and to move on and not really address the issue at hand.
Hope Mangiafico (10:14)
And I see that and I see over apologies from a, the word that's coming to mind is a weakness of like, I'm not worthy. So I'm sorry that I'm dirt. I'm, there it is.
Nikki Humphrey (10:29)
Vic, I'm sorry!
Hope Mangiafico (10:35)
Yeah, the victim sorry, the self loathing, the like, I'm just crumbs. You know, I'm nothing but dirt. And unfortunately, that makes me think of a scripture where it's like, we're just dirt from the earth, you know, and it's like, but wait, we actually are more than that though. Scripture says we come from dirt. You gotta tread lightly from some of these, around some of these scriptures because you don't want to forget.
Yes, you are so small in the grand scheme of God's creation, but you are this beautiful thing and over apologizing allittles Him and makes you not unapologetically you.
Nikki Humphrey (11:20)
Yeah, I wrote down the only thing we are called to apologize and repent for is sin, not our gift, not our confidence, not our joy, not our God and not our God given identity.
Hope Mangiafico (11:26)
Yes. Yes.
Yes, can we can we normalize just repenting and apologizing for sin?
And I mean, that still may be a lot for some of us, right? Some of these thin traits kind of have a tight grip on us, still, like, and I really feel this heavily for women, is just always over apologizing and breaking off any words spoken over anyone that implied that they were no good.
Nikki Humphrey (12:06)
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (12:07)
that they were the
problem to everything. So they must apologize because God does not say you are the problem. He put you on this earth as a solution to problems that are not caused by you.
Nikki Humphrey (12:14)
Hmm?
Hope Mangiafico (12:20)
You are a solution and you need to be unapologetic of that and only apologize for the sin. I love, can you read your list again of what not to apologize for? That was really good.
Nikki Humphrey (12:35)
not our gifts, not our confidence. We're not apologizing for our joy or our God or our God-given identity.
Hope Mangiafico (12:45)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (12:45)
And a lot of times we're apologizing for those things because we fear rejection. We want to be long. We want to be, just go with the flow. You know, we've talked in previous episodes that Hope and I had a lot of victims speak. So we were around a lot of victims. And so when you're around a lot of victims, that victim talks comes up and that...
apologetic nature comes up or that's just the way I am and I don't know if things will get better and we really just
step way out of our gratitude, our God-given purpose, our identity, and it's, call it the pool of dysfunction. You just dive in there and you're just like splashing all of that dysfunction around.
Hope Mangiafico (13:28)
Yeah.
It makes me think about, you know, the saying of like, you're like the average of the five people around you. And I do notice that, that like my tone changes if I'm around certain people. Um, and I can't even necessarily point fingers at them, right? Um, cause I, the end of the day, I'm choosing not only who am I, who am I around, but I'm choosing to match their energy. I'm choosing to play Vic. I mean, I think it's me, but it does make you think about like,
Nikki Humphrey (14:00)
Hmm?
Hope Mangiafico (14:10)
that concept of surrounding yourself so then temptation isn't as strong.
That's good.
And I have to say, or I guess not say, but I guess ask the question. ⁓ I have an answer for it, but I just think it's a good conversation starter. Is it wrong to prioritize your needs before other people's needs and loving yourself before extending yourself all over the place? Is it wrong?
Nikki Humphrey (14:43)
Absolutely not. No.
Hope Mangiafico (14:45)
Is it selfish?
How? How is it not selfish?
Nikki Humphrey (14:52)
It's not selfish because if we're not taking care of our needs, if we're not filling our cup first, if we're not putting God first and being obedient to Him and following what He has for us and stepping into our God-given identity, then we are going through life in that reactionary state. And so we're just trying to
React to other how other people are reacting. We're trying to put out all the fires. We're trying to do all the things we're trying to Placate others and uplift them, but we are just so burnt out and spiritually unfulfilled That it never works out Well, you think that you are doing such a good job and hope and I talked about this in previous episodes like we thought we were so doing them
best job ever, but if you're not taking care of yourself first, you are a bad example to everyone else around you. And you are not serving anybody well, especially God or yourself.
Hope Mangiafico (16:06)
What about we're supposed to serve others and women are nurturers naturally so shouldn't that be top priority?
Nikki Humphrey (16:15)
nurturing yourself should be your top priority. And when you nurture yourself well, you have more energy, more time, more patience with others that you do serve.
Hope Mangiafico (16:28)
You know, as I'm, I'm just spitting these questions out because you know, you, these are the areas though, where as women so often we get into that comparison trap, which talked a million times and it's because we see, and I'm not even a mom, but you see other moms successfully doing something that you're failing at. You know, you see other moms or other women in general doing all the things, taking their kids to a million and 10 things. You can only do a million things. Like that's.
Nikki Humphrey (16:31)
I guess. It's great.
Hope Mangiafico (16:58)
disease and we then take our scripture, my Bible is behind the computer, you take the scriptures and you read about service or you read about nurturing and then you have the wrong lens and your interpretation so now you're applying it incorrectly but in reality just like you were saying Nikki we can only do these things basically I'm summarizing what you said from a place of overflow
Nikki Humphrey (17:24)
That's right.
Hope Mangiafico (17:25)
You've got to nurture yourself so you can overflow with nurturing. You've got to take care of your needs so then you can overflow with the ability to take care of other people's needs.
Nikki Humphrey (17:37)
And I always tell my clients who are in this state of like serving others, do, do, do. I'm like, what did Jesus do? He did things and then he rested. He did things and then he went to be with his father. He did things and he took time away. So if we are following the biblical example, that's what we need to do. We need to do things and then take care of ourselves. Take care of ourselves and then go out and do things.
Hope Mangiafico (18:07)
And being aware that to your exact point if guilt comes in we've said it a million times Guilt's not from God and we have to catch it We got to pause because that should then quickly redirect us to like wait, that's guilt. That's not God Okay, I'm gonna sit down and rest. I'm feeling guilty within three minutes. Wait check it I gotta stay rested like you may be getting that guilt check
within 30 seconds, 3 minutes, continuously. But remember, it's not of God.
the shame and condemnation. And that's really at the end of the day, not being unapologetically you and prioritizing these needs ends up being the root, like it's the root of all of that.
Nikki Humphrey (18:57)
Okay.
because Psalm 139 verses 1 through 14 says, I praise you because you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Not fearfully and kind of okay, not fearfully only if others agree, fearfully and wonderfully made period.
Hope Mangiafico (19:18)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (19:20)
And we can't be those things fearfully and wonderfully made and use all those gifts God gave us to if we're just focused on other people all the time. We're not utilizing our proper gifting to the full extent that they could be used.
Hope Mangiafico (19:37)
So this is making me think about an interesting conversation that we have touched on in the past, but I did not expect this conversation to go here, but it makes sense. ⁓ Boundaries and saying no.
And I won't even necessarily go into boundaries. feel like there's a lot that can be said on that. But why is it so difficult to say no, right? It's like, no has this door to it that constantly has someone knocking on the door, AKA like shame and guilt. And so instead of saying no or fear, you say yes and you crumble. You become under all this weight.
where you become literally nothing but weak.
Nikki Humphrey (20:29)
And when you say yes when it was supposed to be a no, you're doing that thing with anger and resentment and with a poor attitude a lot of the times, because you're like, I don't even want to be doing this. Like, why did I say yes? This is so stupid. But so-and-so made me feel this, that, and the other way. So I crumbled and I did it. And now I'm here doing it with an unpure heart.
Hope Mangiafico (20:56)
you know what comes to mind is recently you and I have been through the book of Luke and with the book of Luke, it's all these parables, right? All these lessons from Jesus. And there's this part in it where it talks about ⁓ not serving two masters. And in that example, it's talking about mammon and God. You can't do both, right? And mammon is money. And while I was reading it, this like down low just came to me of like often
When you hear that, it is about money. It's always about that. But at the end of the day, if you are not obeying the Lord and taking care of yourself, prioritizing your needs so you can pour out in that overflow and you don't have that comparison looming over your head or anything. If you are not pursuing that, you are serving a different master. Whether it is someone's words about you, someone's thoughts about you, a.k.a. fear of man, basically.
Nikki Humphrey (21:47)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (21:55)
It's your child, right? It's your spouse. There's something that's greater and more important as a master over your life.
Nikki Humphrey (22:05)
like I talked in the first episode about running.
Hope Mangiafico (22:09)
Right.
Nikki Humphrey (22:13)
that dictated every part of my day. If the run went well, if it didn't go well, how I was feeling, what happened. I was serving running as my God. It doesn't have to be, like you said, just monetary things. It could be an activity that you do that's supposedly healthy for you, but we change the lens or the enemy twist it and it becomes a God.
Hope Mangiafico (22:18)
the app.
And you know.
Right. Right.
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (22:42)
not just
something you do for enjoyment or health.
Hope Mangiafico (22:48)
And activities like you're giving example of running or monetary things, but it can be people. Like it really is anything above what God tells us to do.
Nikki Humphrey (23:03)
Cause I've served people too. I've mentioned a million times. I bought into these programs, bought into these people, elevated them. And I'm quoting these people more than I was quoting the Bible.
Hope Mangiafico (23:16)
Yeah. Yes. You know, okay, this is slightly off topic, but a little on topic. It finally hit, this is really funny and terribly embarrassing. Back in like 2017 or something, I flew out somewhere to do these like fitness videos. And I was in the middle of beginning to learn some new stuff about my health.
And I said something about my mentor so and so, and then like the next day, this mentor, and then this mentor the next day, like, you've got a lot of mentors. I'm like, oh shoot, that ain't how it's supposed to work. I got a problem.
I that I still remember that person didn't even know me. He was there to record the videos, but he had some interest in what I was saying and he was watching my words because the words reveal what's important to you. Right. We've also talked about that a million times and that was my first red flag of like something's got to give. I mean, again, that's been eight years ago. It's been a while, but something's got to give. I clearly am confused.
Nikki Humphrey (24:08)
Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (24:27)
I'm looking in all the wrong places for how I, what I should be doing, how I should act, what I should do. Just like we've talked about with like building a business or, you know, personal development, like you're looking everywhere.
Nikki Humphrey (24:42)
And that was the time where we're both just trying on everybody else's identity to see which one fit. And they never did. Because that's what God created those people to do. That's not how God created Nikki and Hope to operate.
Hope Mangiafico (24:45)
Yeah.
And you know, I've heard that a million times that like we all have our own thing that we're here for. I've said it. I've preached it. But let me tell you something. I am not at the end of this, but because you just said that I have to share this. ⁓ I was sent a video last night and I listened to it and it was someone that had a dream and Jesus spoke to them and it and it was actually the actor that plays Jesus and the chosen. OK, and he's like, I got to share this. It feels very important.
But there was something that he shared that I just, couldn't shake. And so I started journaling it this morning and it hit on a different level about what you just shared that is truth. And it's that God has enough gifts for everybody. It was Jesus told him that in that way. And I was like, you know, I still don't know if I believed that until I heard it that way, that he doesn't run out of gifts. He doesn't.
Nikki Humphrey (25:44)
you
you
Hope Mangiafico (25:59)
run out of purposes. And I know this sounds so silly because I'm often talking about living in your identity, fulfilling your purpose, you have a calling, but it doesn't mean that I believe that there's still space for me, that he still has that, the little like cut out in life that only hope can fill.
Nikki Humphrey (26:14)
Hmm.
Hope Mangiafico (26:22)
So then I draw back, right? I'm no longer unapologetically me. I'm like, there's not space for me.
Nikki Humphrey (26:31)
I lived in that space for so long too. And that's what kept me from walking into my God given identity because I didn't think, I talked about this before, like somehow I was shortchanged and I didn't get that magic sauce that somebody else had gotten. it still creeps up every now and then. And...
Hope Mangiafico (26:47)
Yeah. ⁓
Nikki Humphrey (26:57)
but would it release me from like I used to listen to other podcasts or other speakers or things and be like, I could never do that because I'm not like them or I would listen to somebody or see somebody out in the world and get so envious and jealous because why they're just booming. Like they are so blessed and so they got all the things going on and why don't I have.
I have zippity doo-dah going on. But now that I've been working on this, like I see those other people or I listen to the podcast or watch something or read something and I'm like, that's so cool, God, that you gave them those amazing gifts. That is so awesome how you highlighted that to them or took their pain and made it a purpose. You are such an awesome God. I can't wait.
to see what you are going to unleash in me. I apologize for blocking you for so long and twisting your gifts and twisting your anointing and trying to manipulate it. I am so sorry, God, and I can see the fruit of walking in total obedience to you. And I can't wait, because you're so cool.
Hope Mangiafico (28:21)
He is so cool. I love that. And that's the truth. All that you shared and that's a beautiful response and a true sign of maturation ⁓ and being unapologetically you in how he created you. And as you were speaking, it made me think about David.
I believe it's David where he talks about like it was against God and God alone that he sinned. And so we talked just a little bit ago about apologizing for sin and not apologizing for all of these things. And you just displayed a great example of like, God, I am sorry to you.
Nikki Humphrey (28:59)
Mm-hmm.
Hope Mangiafico (29:00)
For anyone that's listening, if you're in the middle of wrestling with somebody or something or a situation and you're confused, you don't know what to do, you might have misstepped, which is very possible because we all do that because we're human, know that apologizing, repenting to God is against him and him alone that you sin. And through that repentant heart, like Nikki just gave an example of, you'll gain clarity.
on your next steps, the next obedient act you're supposed to do, and to continue to be more fully you in that God-given identity because it is against Him and Him alone.
And you're releasing that other person in your example, right? Of like that you maybe previously were bitter towards just like having like a stronghold around them, like around their neck or something. And as you, like, God, I'm so sorry that I was restricting me and them. And it's like the grip loosens around them too. That's a radical thing. And it's so hard for us to our minds around, but I really believe it's true, you know?
Nikki Humphrey (29:53)
All
Yeah. ⁓
Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (30:18)
⁓ It's invisible, but I believe it's true.
And I guess to compliment that, I had a note and I really didn't know how it was going to come out. But what I just said made me think about this note that I had. It's extremely important to be aware of the things that are keeping you from being fully who you're called to be and, and not being unapologetically you as the world would say it where it's just basically like going around strutting your stuff, you know, like whatever, like that's not, that's not at all.
saying if you're acting in sin, just keep doing it. know, I'm kind of like Paul, it's like, don't keep doing it just in hopes that grace is going to cover you. You want to be fully apologetic towards the Lord. But you also want to approach every scenario in your life from a perspective of or as a child of God instead of having the sin nature consciousness all the time.
Nikki Humphrey (31:11)
Mm-hmm.
Hope Mangiafico (31:30)
And I believe that a sin nature consciousness was a dominant teaching in the church and the body of Christ for a long time. It's like, I'm a sinner saved by grace. I'm a sinner. I'm a sinner. I'm a sinner. I'm a sinner. And it's just now more recently where this concept of like, wait, you are in Christ. All things are in him and through him and by him and from him. So, so are you. So maybe you were born into sin.
But once you gave your life to Christ, you were in a new bloodline. So through the conviction of the Holy Spirit, you become aware and you get little nudges when you are sinning or acting up. But your awareness is not about the sin, it's about who he is and his direction in your life. And I just wanted to speak that we're not trying to live in a state of sin nature awareness strictly from.
Nikki Humphrey (32:26)
Mm-hmm.
Hope Mangiafico (32:29)
a child of God perspective.
Apologizing comes from a place of confusion and an identity issue.
Nikki Humphrey (32:36)
Right.
Living in joy, owning your voice, walking in your God-given identity. When you do that, that's not pride, that's a form of worship.
to God. So many times people are like, ⁓ you know, they try to make it a bad thing, but it's not when you do those things, when you live in joy, when you own your voice, when you walk in your God given identity, that is worshiping our Father and the gifts that he gave us. It tells the world, look at what my creator made and look what he's doing in me.
Hope Mangiafico (33:16)
He gets the glory.
Nikki Humphrey (33:19)
So many times we get it twisted, and sometimes that's when we back away from our God-given identity, because you're just like, ⁓ they're going to think I'm prideful, or I'm this, or I'm that. It's not. It's giving the glory to God.
Anything can be twisted, even your gifting.
Hope Mangiafico (33:41)
It's that ever being reminded that that twisting it can be 99 % truth and 1 % lie and that is the thing that can hook you.
Nikki Humphrey (33:55)
remember going to a family funeral three years ago now and I was talking to some relatives I hadn't seen in a long time. They're like, you're too joyful, Nikki. Like I see you online and you're just too happy. Like you shouldn't be happy all the time. And I'm like, well, I lived over half of my life in severe depression and anxiety and hating myself. So if I'm feeling
Hope Mangiafico (34:17)
Mm-mm.
Nikki Humphrey (34:24)
happy right now it's because I did a lot of hard work to let God in and heal those broken places. So I don't know what to tell you but this is just who I am now.
Hope Mangiafico (34:40)
Ooh, I, ooh.
Nikki Humphrey (34:40)
But then again, I
apologize that it was like a little apology at the end. Like, I don't know what to tell you.
Hope Mangiafico (34:45)
Right, it was, but, yeah.
Ooh, I feel that. Be careful of other people projecting their stuff on you. And then it's like, okay, so what I see, you know how projectors work. So they go on the screen and it's just like basically light, right? Capturing the image or whatever. I see their face, their everything projecting on you and you're taking their form.
Nikki Humphrey (34:55)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (35:13)
You gotta be careful of that. And Nikki just gave that great example. She apologized without being the traditional apology. So we have to buy our identity as a child of God instead of being this broken sin nature mentality. The Holy Spirit lets you know that, that was an apology even though you weren't saying, I'm so sorry. Like she realized, you realize Nikki, right?
That was still an apology, still an open door for growth and being unapologetically you and the work God's done in you by your obedience to say, Lord, I want something different.
Hmm projection man. That's such a big thing in psychology, you know That's a lot of what we see in the world and friendships relationships marriages We project our pain and our yucca and other people and say it's theirs
Nikki Humphrey (35:58)
you
you
Mm-hmm. Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (36:16)
So let's not be, let's not be that.
Nikki Humphrey (36:21)
And I think it's
more than okay to question somebody when they've make changes like Wow, I mean, I really wish somebody would have came up to me like wow Nikki your attitude your whole being has totally shifted Tell me more about that. I want to know how that came about There's ways to inquire
Hope Mangiafico (36:44)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (36:46)
without condemning somebody else for making those changes.
Hope Mangiafico (36:51)
Yeah, that's so true.
But if someone or us, I'm not even just going to say it's someone coming to us, but sometimes we could do this too. If they are inquiring in a way that the tone is not gentle or not kind, it either means they have their own hurt or ⁓ there hasn't been conviction yet on how they approach things. ⁓ And maybe they're stuck in that mentality of like, this is just how I am, right? ⁓
Nikki Humphrey (37:21)
Yeah. Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (37:25)
Something that I think is really cool is let's say that someone inquired of you, Nikki, and they're like, man, that's amazing. I see this joy. Tell me more about it. It is such a great reflection too of what I again read in the book of Luke recently of like, let's say that person
Nikki Humphrey (37:34)
Mm-hmm.
Hope Mangiafico (37:45)
approached you that way, but maybe a month before they approached someone else with a little bit of bitterness, right? A little bit of yuck. And then they repented. God changed their heart. They run into you and they're like, well, that's so cool. I want to know more. I'm interested. Did you know that in the book of Luke, it says that heaven rejoices every time where you repent and there's a party. And your example just made me think about that because the joy is happening.
Every time we turn around or someone else turns around or turns does that like 180 away from where they were? There's a party!
Let that be an encouragement, whether it's your own like meaning of like repenting for something as you're convicted or you see someone coming to you and apologizing for their approach, you know, of maybe saying, I'm so sorry, Nikki. I at the time when I ran into you and you were full of joy, I was in a dark place and I was envious. But I, you know, I I'm no longer that way. And I'm saying, I'm sorry. I just see like confetti going everywhere. Right. Like, how cool is that? That it's so much more.
Nikki Humphrey (38:43)
Mm-hmm. ⁓
Hope Mangiafico (38:53)
Then I'm sorry.
Nikki Humphrey (38:55)
Mm.
Hope Mangiafico (38:57)
There was a party and in my mind I was thinking of like heaven is that excited every time we turn around or away because they know we're getting that much closer to being confident in all of the things that God put in us. And like, yes, they're gonna go do it. They were there.
Nikki Humphrey (39:10)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Hope Mangiafico (39:20)
Let's have the poppers go off.
Nikki Humphrey (39:22)
That's what I was thinking too, I was like, it got me so excited. So I was just like, when I go to heaven, I want to be on the heaven hype squad. I want to be the one like, God, did you see your girl? Did you see what your girl just did? Yes. Yes.
Hope Mangiafico (39:42)
It sounds like you're being like.
You'd be great at it. It's so wild. It's so cool. ⁓ gosh, I just that's so exciting. And I hope that encourages each person, both from a personal perspective. And then when you watch people around you growing and maturing and everything, just picture a heaven hype squad being excited for all of us.
Nikki Humphrey (40:16)
that, that'll motivate you. That'll motivate you when you are nervous or afraid, just like you said to do something. Think of that Heaven Hype Squad. Think of Heaven going off the chain as soon as you do that one heart thing. It's so good. So.
Hope Mangiafico (40:33)
Right. Or, know,
you were in a like, I keep using you as an example because I can use myself too, but you you've shared some more of your story in this episode. Like, let's say way back then, like you're talking about you were in such a dark place and and you started your journey with the Lord. And instead of every time you repented of being like, man, I'm really broken. I got a long ways to go. I man, have I really messed up in life.
Instead of that perspective, you see every time you turn, yeah, there's that motivation of like, wait, I'm not that, yes, I've made a lot of mistakes, but holy cannoli, like there's already an entire realm of angels and hype squad cheering me on, even though I've just taken my first step of the hard thing. Like, I think that changes your perspective of your worth.
instead of seeing yourself as I've done all of this and I've got such a long ways to go. It's the party never stops.
Nikki Humphrey (41:36)
That's right. And we talked about a little bit in an episode way at the beginning about how to clap for yourself. And I think I shared this, but if not, it's worth saying again. At the beginning of the year, I was doing a lot of hard things that were hard for me and I really wasn't pointing it out to myself or celebrating it. And so then when I would do a hard thing or whatever, I would give myself a little hand clap. Like I had a little secret handshake with myself just to like...
Hope Mangiafico (41:43)
Yeah.
Nikki Humphrey (42:04)
Girl, you did it. You did that hard thing. Look at you. I'm so proud of you. And so yes, we have the Heaven Hype Squad, but we can also be our own Hype Squad when we do that hard thing to acknowledge it and to celebrate it.
Hope Mangiafico (42:20)
and knowing that that's a-okay to do and it's not prideful. I love that so much.
Nikki Humphrey (42:28)
I do it in public. don't, you know, I don't care. I'm unapologetically doing my secret handshake in public.
Hope Mangiafico (42:36)
So that makes me want to share what I felt like. I was journaling before meeting here and I was like, Lord, what do you want me to share today? Or what do you want to be conveyed? And as you're talking about, or we're talking about the heavenly hype squad, but then also celebrating yourself, I felt like God said that he is pursuing you, the whole you.
A message we've shared many times, but I feel him directly saying that I like you. I don't only love you.
And that was actually part of that message from the guy from Chosen that Jesus told him is like, people know that I love them. They don't believe I like them. And I think picturing that heaven hype squad is like, that shows liking. So anyway, that warms my heart. So he said, many people see I love them and they understand that because they often think of my love being my responsibility to them, but liking them is a choice.
I not only choose to create you, but I choose you still today. Will you let me journey with you the entire distance it takes through the valleys with shadows or over the hills that beam with light and hold your hand with each step as you, my beloved, reveal your true self to the world.
Nikki Humphrey (44:02)
just touched my heart.
Hope Mangiafico (44:03)
You too.
And I just, you get this beautiful imagery. So you get this beauty and discomfort complimented by the excitement for where you're headed.
and isn't that like God.
Nikki Humphrey (44:26)
so sweet and so tender.
Hope Mangiafico (44:31)
He really is.
He likes us all.
Nikki Humphrey (44:35)
And so does all of heaven.
Hope Mangiafico (44:39)
I could just sit in that.
Nikki Humphrey (44:45)
I think that'll do it. Any parting words?
Hope Mangiafico (44:49)
No, I felt like your little cheerleading section just led me to that of Him loving the whole of you, liking the whole of you. And that should let us be able to do the same for ourselves. So that's it.
Nikki Humphrey (45:10)
Thank you all of you who spent time with us today. If this episode encouraged you, share it with a friend who's been hiding or apologizing for who they are. Let's be a generation that walks in freedom and points others to Jesus through our authenticity. You are called, you are equipped, you are unapologetically loved by God. Until next time, show up fully.
and let him shine through every part of who you are.
Hope Mangiafico (45:45)
Mmm, amen. Let's do it until next time
