14 Navigating Emotions Through Faith

Learn to navigate emotions with God, find healing, and embrace your feelings faithfully. Watch full video version here: https://youtu.be/SKVw_HJdyII

Episode Transcript

Nikki Humphrey (00:00)
Hi, I'm Nikki.

Hope Mangiafico (00:01)
Hi, I'm Hope. Welcome to Equipped Fellowship where friends become family through Christ. We're two Jesus-loving friends on a mission to share personal stories, resources, and real talk about our triumphs, breakthroughs, struggles, and setbacks. Why? Because we believe you are called to live victoriously and we're here to equip you with Holy Spirit-led tools and strategies to strengthen your faith, transform your mindset, and walk boldly in God's promises. Because here's the truth.

You've been given great and precious promises by God. So grab your coffee, lean in, and let's grow together. It's time to step into everything God has for you.

Nikki Humphrey (00:41)
Yes, and today we are stepping into everything God has for us through the topic of emotions. We all have them, good and bad, whether we agree with them or not, whether we shove them down or over-emote, they're all so a part of our life.

Hope Mangiafico (00:51)
Hmm? ⁓

Nikki Humphrey (01:06)
So whether you're someone who feels everything intensely or someone who tends to shut out the feelings, emotions are just part of us and they were created by God. And if you've ever wondered if your feelings are too much for God or your faith should mean never feeling certain emotions at all, this episode is for you today.

Hope Mangiafico (01:11)
Hmm.

I like that. As you were speaking, what I was thinking of is the concept of good and bad emotions. You you're saying, ⁓ they're all created by God. It's like, well, then how did we get to this place where we label them good or bad, which then creates this terrible spiral that we get caught into with our emotions.

how did we get here? How did we get here? To feel them and then not knowing what to do with them, not knowing how to label them, like how did we get here?

Nikki Humphrey (02:01)
I truly believe no emotion is bad. The enemy wants us to think certain emotions are bad, but all emotions, like I said, were created by God. And so we're all meant to experience them. And there are, I went through the Bible, there are so many emotions in the Bible. It's talked about a lot.

Hope Mangiafico (02:05)
Correct.

Yeah.

Nikki Humphrey (02:30)
But the enemy society, people want to think that certain things are good or bad or we, you know, if we're depressed or something like that, we should hide in shame. But no, there's no shame in those emotions.

Hope Mangiafico (02:44)
Yeah, I think you and I, when we briefly discussed about this conversation, it's like they simply direct us. And that really is what it is. Instead of us immediately slapping a label on it, it's like, what is the saying about, it could be your heart posture, about the situation, about the environment, like pressing in to them be directed by Holy Spirit.

Nikki Humphrey (03:08)
Yeah. Yeah.

there.

Since we are made in God's image, all emotions are from God, right? So I have four examples here of God's emotions. So God rejoices. In Zephaniah 3.17, he says, the Lord your God is with you. He will take great delight in you. In his love, he will no longer rebuke you, but rejoice over you with singing.

And then God feels compassion in Psalm 10313, as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear them, him. And then God shows anger and sin at injustice in Exodus 3210. That shows God has righteous anger when Israel turns to idols.

And then God even experiences grief. Genesis 6 says, the Lord regretted that he had made human beings on earth and his heart was deeply troubled.

Hope Mangiafico (04:15)
Not a such a weighty sculpture. But, right, right. Yeah. So why can't we? And why can't we, yeah, walk through that journey just like he did? And what I love about the last one I said was so weighty is like he grieved, but here we are all these years later being loved by him. So it's not even when we hear that and I called it weighty.

Nikki Humphrey (04:17)
So if Dad can feel the full range of emotion from elation to depression.

Hope Mangiafico (04:43)
because I know a lot of our lenses would completely twist that scripture into something so horrific but here we are talking about the love of God all these years later. Genesis was so long ago, it was previous to Jesus which you know were like 2,000 years ago for Jesus. Well this was way before that.

And he's pursuing guys.

he processed his emotions.

Nikki Humphrey (05:06)
Yes.

Hope Mangiafico (05:07)
Ha

Nikki Humphrey (05:08)
Yes. ⁓

If we think of God as our parent, our father God, you know, just as a parent, you can feel two things at once for your child. You can feel immense love and compassion and still feel disappointed.

It doesn't, that emotion doesn't cancel out the other ones you have for your child or somebody else that you deeply care about. And I think sometimes on the receiving end, if you're angry or disappointed at somebody, they feel like you no longer love them or you hate them. But that's not the case. You can hold more than one emotion at a time for someone.

Hope Mangiafico (05:54)
Right. And what you were just saying is like whether it's you receiving it or someone else receiving the disappointment or whatever you're feeling, if it has that broken perspective it's due to a hurt inside. ⁓ Because that's how we we all are. We were born and things happen and you and I this week are reading I think is gonna hit on that a good bit of like

Nikki Humphrey (06:09)
That's right.

Hope Mangiafico (06:21)
the reality of broken relationships. Because at the end of the day, it's relational that emotions, I mean, it's things happening around you, but somewhere along that line there's people involved. And just what that looks like. Journeying that out, where, yeah, I think this morning I was reading where like it quoted Martin Luther King saying of like, until you're who you ought to be, then I can't be who I can be, but until I'm who I'm supposed to be, you can't be who you're supposed to be. And so it's this whole like,

constant dance of like us taking responsibility of ourselves of saying okay, I feel these emotions What do I do with them? How do I label them? And I think that's something that you're really good at talking about is like recognizing them And then where'd I go from there because as you become whole and let them direct you That's how you create a ripple effect of a change in the world that we're all wanting to see and fighting for protesting for all of these things It starts here

Nikki Humphrey (07:06)
Yeah.

Hope Mangiafico (07:20)
with those emotions and accurately labeling, describing, recognizing, and then taking action.

Nikki Humphrey (07:30)
Yeah, for sure. When working with clients, I see a lot of times that one, a lot of my clients have strong emotions. They just, they've either repressed their emotions for so long and now they're in their second half of their life and they just come pouring out and they don't even know the root of them. So say you have a big emotion of being depressed. Like imagine a trunk of a tree, like that's depression.

Hope Mangiafico (07:45)
Mm.

Nikki Humphrey (08:00)
but down below on the surface, there's all of these roots that contributed to you being depressed in this state. So what you have to do is figure out, okay, depression, I'm emoting a lot of depression, but what are those things that caused it in my life? They're underground. So when they're underground, we either intentionally put them under the ground and buried them,

Hope Mangiafico (08:24)
Right.

Nikki Humphrey (08:30)
Sometimes God is so gracious to us and he just turns off those memories and we've talked about that in previous episodes as a protection. know, sometimes we just forget or we're just in trauma. So we're just trying to survive so we can't dig it up and deal with it. But it's so important to figure out what those roots are because once...

you identify those triggers, those things, those circumstances that cause this big trunk to grow, that's where you find freedom.

Hope Mangiafico (09:10)
Yes, and you know, I think something that I have just recently learned and I was talking to someone yesterday about this is big events in your life will cause those roots to get exposed. And so using me as an example, my past year with my dad, and you know, you get this stirring and you're like, you always hear that people come out of grief or caregiving or loss as a different person. You hear that, right?

And I just now experienced that recently myself and it's like it's because you're dealing with new events usually with someone that's close to you. That goes back to the relational aspect that some of those things have been buried against them so you can continue loving, moving, acting, whatever, going through life. And then something happens to them. Here it comes surfacing up and it's overwhelming and you don't know what to do. And boy.

did God blow my mind in the last year and still is because I mean it was a whole year of dealing with that and then losing my dad and then dealing with that and so I find that so fascinating because you're then talking about for sure grief so that's one of those emotions which has its own whole cycle according to psychology that you go through and then you're talking about maybe bitterness, anger, sadness, ⁓ all of those things and not even not knowing why

your point about ⁓ bearing it because I'm thinking about the conversation I had with someone yesterday and they were upset and crying and getting worked up about it and I said it's because you're this old and all of these things are from childhood and affecting you and it took a big event to bring this out but I guarantee you and I promise you if you keep pressing into God you're going to

figure this out. Right now it's like this and so cloudy and confusing and conflicting but he will bring that clarity and I pray that through today's episode that he can use us as vessels to help people bring that clarity whether they're entering a really hard season of life or they absolutely know emotions will come. You're supposed to feel them. Don't be upset that you're getting emotional. Tears are coming. You know like you can't be mad.

Nikki Humphrey (11:27)
Yeah.

Hope Mangiafico (11:36)
You can't be mad at yourself for feeling them when you're being pressed.

You cannot. you know, I guess going on to that grief conversation too, Nikki, you and I reading the Bible, they were so outwardly expressive with their grief. You know, now, I don't know, culturally or whatever, it's all been hidden. That has been by choice to your point. The roots get buried. Is it by God or by us? A lot of times it is by us. And I love, I get so inspired by scripture, not only seeing to your point about God having these emotions,

but seeing the way they grieved.

Nikki Humphrey (12:11)
Yeah.

Hope Mangiafico (12:11)
And that's just one of many things, but I think, you know, I used to, I heard it once and it really helps me that you kind of have like a big umbrella, just like the big chunk of the tree and then all the roots coming down and a big umbrella and all these little things underneath it. But there's usually this overarching thing that leads to all these other little ones, just like you said. And so I feel that grief is a good example of that.

So anyways, I'm personally still journeying that out even as we speak ⁓ of what that looks like and labeling them correctly. ⁓ I don't like the word label, identifying them correctly and not being upset by feeling bad emotions.

Nikki Humphrey (12:59)
Yeah, and thinking about that every emotion we have has a source, right, of where it comes from. But it doesn't, you do, I wanna explain this so people don't feel overwhelmed.

Hope Mangiafico (13:06)
Mm.

Nikki Humphrey (13:20)
To find the root doesn't mean that every single circumstance, every encounter, everything that you, it's not, know, you don't have to cycle through everything, but just the overarching themes. For example, if your childhood was really not a good.

Hope Mangiafico (13:26)
Yes.

Nikki Humphrey (13:44)
place for you and there was a lot of abuse and anger and all of that. You don't have to go through every single circumstance, every trauma event to get to the root of it. God can help you and we learned this when we worked in the spiritual boot camp. You can lump things together to get healing.

Hope Mangiafico (13:57)
Right.

Nikki Humphrey (14:07)
And that's why I don't want people to get discouraged or caught up in the weeds of like, well, that's going to take years and years and years.

Hope Mangiafico (14:15)
Yes, the thought of it taking years and years and years. The lumping is a great suggestion and or just a great reminder. And on top of that, I learned more recently when you feel it and you take it to him, you then trust that he brings up the exact thing. So instead of being like, well, my whole childhood was so heavy, he'll bring if it's specific up, he'll bring it and you have to rest in that, have the joy, which is

peace in that and knowing he loves you so much. He's such a good father that he'll bring it up if it's needed which we've talked about before but I think that was such a good reminder and just knowing if immediately you're like who had a hard childhood, what was that and then let him guide the rest. That's huge. ⁓

Nikki Humphrey (15:07)
Yes. And sometimes,

yeah, sometimes I even have my clients chunk it up. I'll give them a feelings chart because a lot of people, they don't even know how to name their feelings because they've been so disconnected to them for years. So you ask them questions like, how are doing? Fine. Like, how is that good? Can you tell me more about like why you feel good?

Hope Mangiafico (15:23)
Mm.

It's

the autopilot that we've talked about before too.

Nikki Humphrey (15:29)
Yeah,

nothing. You know, I'm feeling bad. Well, what's going on?

And bad's not emotion. Good's not an emotion. Bad's not an emotion. So we think we're talking about emotions and we're not even naming an emotion word. So that's why I give people feelings chart.

Hope Mangiafico (15:38)
⁓ dude. Yeah.

I honestly

have never connected those dots. How you feeling? Good. That ain't...

Nikki Humphrey (15:50)
Yeah. Good talk, Hailey.

That's why I'll give them a feeling start, like something I used to use when I taught kindergarten, but just like, okay, it has all the different emotions and we talk about them, like define them, like, this is when you feel this way. ⁓ And then when they're talking, I'm like, okay, you have to choose a word off the paper of how you're feeling.

Hope Mangiafico (16:15)
And those are

all over the online too, so if like anyone's like, well that sounds very elementary, but I think it'd be beneficial. You can print those puppies off so easily because I've done it before too.

Nikki Humphrey (16:24)
Yeah.

Yeah. And it's so good. And so once we name the feelings and they have their feeling chart and talking about getting to the roots, we do this exercise where we chunk their life in stages from like zero to five, five to 10. And then there's like a bigger grouping of like teenage years and then 20s, 30s, 40s, whatever. And then I'm like, okay, go through your feelings chart and just put down any feelings that come up during that period. So we're not even talking about

Hope Mangiafico (16:54)
that's great.

Nikki Humphrey (16:56)
specific details, but your body usually remembers how you feel in certain circumstances. And so just putting the feelings there, and then we can see a pattern of their feelings and where they came up and maybe they were higher here and lower here and talk through them that way in the chunking.

Hope Mangiafico (17:21)
That's really good. I love that for getting started and not being overwhelmed and intimidated by it. Especially you're getting healing or starting the journey later in life. Which I know I've had conversations with people of that being so terrifying. So that is so, so encouraging. And you talking about good not being a feeling. This is something else you and I kind of discussed that I came across. Like someone's like, I feel God's mad at me. And it's like, that's not a feeling, that's a thought.

Nikki Humphrey (17:47)
Mm-hmm.

Hope Mangiafico (17:51)
and I was like whoa that's so good because how often do we then apply we think thoughts or feelings which we've had conversation on the podcast about thoughts and we know there's only three sources for thoughts and they're usually the enemy or God so if you feel God is mad at you that's a thought and where that sure as heck does not come from God so we I mean I have to be careful of this because I'm like dang

I've been miss, miss naming. Miss naming that. then you go, that's really, I feel like leads you into a deeper spiral, because we know thoughts just catapult you.

Nikki Humphrey (18:24)
Hmm?

That's right. And the enemy, once a negative thought or emotion pops in your body, the enemy is like, yes, girl, we're going to ride this train to the wheels fall off.

Hope Mangiafico (18:46)
Yeah, because it's a safe place. It's a home base for the enemy's camp when you're under that. It's nice and cozy, unfortunately.

Nikki Humphrey (18:57)
And sometimes getting good at naming and claiming your feelings, sometimes just naming how you're feeling and claiming it lets the air out of the balloon. Like gives you peace. Like if you're just like, sometimes it's just like, I am feeling really anxious right now. Just saying it out loud. I just feel.

Hope Mangiafico (19:09)
I was gonna say it.

your body can then process emotions is energy in motion. This will be a good lesson for someone because this was a huge one for me. When I understood that and I know that me ignoring it or just trying to go through life means I'm stopping the motion. So where is it stopping? In me. That's where the concept of the body keeps the score comes from is because it's due to God's grace or different situations he allows you to

Nikki Humphrey (19:24)
Yes.

Hope Mangiafico (19:46)
freeze it there so you can keep moving to survive like you said, but it's gotta come out somehow and that's why oftentimes it's later in life when you're being pressed through grief or bigger things and by the goodness of God, he doesn't want you to have to go through these things but he redeems it by getting that energy out of you.

So why don't you just, now that you're aware, if you're listening, just say it out loud. Start that, I just see it like a little snowball, start, or a wheel. Start that wheel moving so it can leave. Or even picture it. I don't wanna get super into exercising the mind, but you can picture that leaving you.

Nikki Humphrey (20:24)
Yeah.

Yeah.

So good.

Hope Mangiafico (20:27)
It's so good. Energy and motion. So when you feel like you're about to explode, it's because you kind of are.

Nikki Humphrey (20:29)
Hmm.

Yeah.

Hope Mangiafico (20:35)
It's energy.

Nikki Humphrey (20:36)
I mean, there's only so long, I tell my clients that there's only so long you can keep the lid on the box. There's only so much capacity. And if you don't let the air out of the balloon, it's going to implode. It's just gonna all over. And I've been there, so there's no judgment. My box exploded all over the place. But through God's grace and learning and pressing into him,

Hope Mangiafico (20:42)
⁓

Me too, me too, ⁓ me too.

Nikki Humphrey (21:05)
I've learned to think differently about my emotions and my situations and things that I've been through, which we've talked about in previous episodes. And there's no shame, there's no guilt, there's no condemnation about how I'm feeling about anything. Sometimes I have to check my emotions. Sometimes I have to learn to regulate them better, but they're coming up for a reason.

Hope Mangiafico (21:09)
Yeah.

And this is a great opportunity as you were speaking Nikki. I was just thinking about being aware like and again not to overwhelm someone but if you notice you say I shouldn't be feeling or I shouldn't this then change it to why am I feeling this way because again no condemnation but you will be shocked as you're we're gonna bless you with the veil being lifted in your eyes and ears being open to your words and your your labeling of

emotions. When you start realizing how it comes out of your mouth you are gonna be shocked at how much condemnation and shame you have attached to them. It's shocking. Don't get upset that it's there. Like don't be upset that you have the condemnation coming out. Be happy and rejoice like God rejoices that you're like ⁓ man I've been self-condemning and then guess what when you do that you can't break free because you're feeding

where they get nice and comfy and that where the interview is just like, ooh, this is comfy. So don't just, just be aware of that. You probably will have it come out because I still struggle sometimes with the shame and self-condemning, ⁓ but I no longer let it keep going. Yeah, I just, really felt like people needed to be aware that they're probably gonna see that and not to be upset that, because that is bad. That one is bad.

Nikki Humphrey (22:54)
Yeah.

Hope Mangiafico (22:58)
Because it's not from God.

Nikki Humphrey (23:00)
Yeah, I'm gonna share a story that happened recently and hope knows the story and I'm gonna keep some of the details private as they should be. But there was a situation that came up and I was feeling a lot of anger towards this person. A lot, a lot of anger and it was just like, it was bubbling up and it's bubbling up and it's bubbling up ⁓ maybe for like two months, I don't know, six weeks, six to eight weeks, let's just say it there.

Hope Mangiafico (23:03)
Okay.

Nikki Humphrey (23:30)
⁓ And then I finally, it hit me, revealed to me, because I'm like, where is this coming from? Like, I know I need to, I need to understand where this feeling is coming from. And it was hurt. I was hurt by this person. I felt like this person was my friend. I trusted this person. And then I felt like this person just completely stabbed me in the back.

disregarded our friendship and lied to my face about a couple of things. And I was so angry, but it wasn't anger. I was hurt. That little girl, Nikki, inside of me, it was bringing up similar things from my childhood. So it was hurt. It was rejection. I felt rejected. I felt not...

scene I felt irrelevant and so was all these things that wasn't anger at all.

Hope Mangiafico (24:36)
Mm.

Nikki Humphrey (24:38)
was my hurt little girl being like, again, we've been hurt again. And when you're little, a lot of times when you're hurt, you get mad and you get angry and you get frustrated and you emote out that way. And that's what my little Nikki wanted to do, but I had to reframe it and I had to sit down with God and work out why I was feeling this way with this person and.

Hope Mangiafico (24:54)
Mmm.

Nikki Humphrey (25:04)
forgive them, even though I don't want to at the moment. I had to release forgiveness on that person. Doesn't mean this person is going to come back in my life, but I had to release forgiveness so I could feel that. And as soon as I did, that anger went.

Hope Mangiafico (25:16)
Yeah.

Nikki Humphrey (25:19)
and my heart felt lighter and better than it had been for those six to eight weeks where I was really struggling.

Hope Mangiafico (25:28)
And if we apply your tree analogy to that, it's like in that moment, tell me if this makes sense. The trunk was the anger. And so you were like, okay, there's my direction. Now let me dig with the father. And just really want to emphasize digging with the father so he brings up the accurate thing and what you can handle. And then it was these different parts of the childhood and which ultimately kind of was summarized and hurt. So those were the little roots. But as long as you pay attention to the trunk.

Nikki Humphrey (25:39)
Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Hope Mangiafico (25:59)
And you you get, you have a sheet like Nikki's talking about and it has, you know, I don't know if hurt's on there but at the end of the day if anger's on there and you're like I feel that one, let that direct you to the deeper thing just like Nikki said. It's a direction. That's really good and I have noticed I've done very similar things and sometimes it'll take me years labeling it. I really, I guess I'm gonna keep saying labeling because I think of labels good and bad but at the end of the day I...

Nikki Humphrey (26:14)
Yeah.

Hope Mangiafico (26:27)
I would have an emotion that I felt like God highlighted to me that was how I was.

Nikki Humphrey (26:30)
Yeah. What's like naming

the emotion instead of saying label it? Naming.

Hope Mangiafico (26:34)
Yeah, yeah

naming it and identifying it and I felt like it was like the Lord was saying yes Hope that is how you name it based off my understanding my understanding hopes understanding It's just like the anger thing and then by God's great knowing I Can get the the onion peeled back there, but he would meet me at what I could comprehend at the time

which is just a really cool concept when you realize how much he cares about your entire being in every detail and his protection of you while you're on the journey of naming your emotions. And I guess a good thought with this too, because we're talking about it being directional and like pointing you in directions. And I don't know if you have a direct thing that you help your clients with, Nikki.

How do you tell people and encourage people to not let the emotions steer the ship?

Nikki Humphrey (27:36)
That can be, if you've lived in victim, we've talked about victimhood a lot, because we were both victims right here. And sometimes I still fall into victim mode. Sometimes I got to shift gears real quick.

Hope Mangiafico (27:48)
Yeah, yeah.

Just

like that. ⁓

Nikki Humphrey (27:57)
Get it.

So that was actually what was on my notes. I said emotional regulation doesn't mean pretending you're fine. And I think a lot of times we just pretend that we are fine in our spaces.

Hope Mangiafico (28:05)
Mm.

Because if

you don't acknowledge it, then it doesn't exist. That's kind of our broken mentality on it.

Nikki Humphrey (28:22)
Yes,

Living in fantasy land, right? It means recognize your feelings and then choosing a healthy spirit led response. And then Proverbs 29, 11 came to mind and it says, fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back. This isn't about stuffing emotions, but pausing before we react.

Hope Mangiafico (28:25)
Mmm.

I was gonna say, I know there's a pause in there. I absolutely know that. Just cause it makes sense from previous episodes we've talked about. But what's interesting is today's episode is where like, I feel like we're talking about when you're at the brink of like feeling it. That's when it's the hardest to find that pause and be okay pausing. So this is like the next level to how to pause. ⁓

Nikki Humphrey (28:52)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Right.

It's like, yeah, sometimes you just want to get after it. And when you have those like, you want to just go, go, go, whatever emotion is coming up and just ride that wave, that usually stems from hidden repressed emotions. So if you're like, I'm not sure if I have like emotions that I stuff down, if you just want to zing right back and just like, we talked about like automatic habits come back.

Hope Mangiafico (29:24)
Yeah, ⁓

And yes.

Nikki Humphrey (29:43)
up, like that's a sign that it's probably linked to something in the past that you shoved down.

Hope Mangiafico (29:50)
Go ahead, I was gonna say something that I'll wait.

Nikki Humphrey (29:53)
So teaching how to like counteract this from happening, we've talked about this before for other things, but just pause and breathe. Slowing your breath calms your nervous system. It's proven. Hopa said before, she's like, sometimes I'm just like, just breathe.

Hope Mangiafico (30:14)
That's what God told me for so long.

Nikki Humphrey (30:16)
Right. And that's like, he's like, cause I created that tool to calm down your nervous system. And when our nervous system is on high alert, that fight, flight or freeze, we can't think, we can't respond appropriately. Things are going to go in all directions real quick.

Hope Mangiafico (30:29)
Mm-mm.

Yes, so there's just an encouragement I wanted to share because this has been, again, Nikki and I have journeyed this out. And I know for me, and I'm still working progress in this, I had a life of rapid heart racing, you know. All I knew was like when things got heated, I would just pick up my pace. I did that forever. I felt like I was a freight train just passing everywhere I went.

Nikki Humphrey (31:01)
Mm-hmm.

Hope Mangiafico (31:06)
and I've seen that on both sides of my family. And ⁓ the reason I'm even sharing this is because one, I want to let the listener know and I hope that they can understand this, your personality is not you. I thought that was who I was, that I was just quick and easily energized and going and this is what I, everything is big emotions, big feelers, right? And so that's my personality.

personalities are formed. And when I started walking with God and I could see on both sides of my family that intensity and that as things picked up, everyone got more tense, moved quicker, I'm like, okay, there's something actually wrong here. This doesn't mean I always have to operate this way, but I didn't know anything else. But I cannot believe how long it took me to get there and I say this even more so

Nikki Humphrey (31:36)
Hmm?

Hope Mangiafico (32:02)
because i was just telling my mom yesterday about how my first time in college a friend of mine said hope you're easily excitable. never heard that word before. i was like dang you're right i've always felt different than everybody and our bodies don't know the difference between excitement and nervousness or anxiousness so oddly enough

I am easily excitable. I am extremely passionate. People love that, but what they don't know is that internally I feel like I'm like dying inside every time I'm excited about something. And I was openly telling my mom this yesterday. I was like, mom, because she was like, I love that about you. I'm like, yeah, everyone does except for me. And I said, but what I do know is God will keep that part of me.

and allow me to still be passion-excitable and he's somehow repairing the inside of me to stop that crazy uptick. Because again, the body doesn't know if I'm in a freaking panic state or I'm just excited at my favorite songs on the radio. Like what the crap? That's crazy. But that's how my body responds and I can almost guarantee you as I was talking to my mom, because that's how the Holy Spirit works, like I'm talking and he's giving me downloads of my own journey, he's like

through past events you actually have kind of fallen out of proper divine order of what excitement looks like. Because there were times I'm sure when I was younger in some kind of survival mode that I actually was probably excited about something but my body's already been trained in survival mode. So he is now reteaching me and reforming me. That word just came to mind. Reforming me.

Nikki Humphrey (33:34)
Mm-hmm.

and

Hope Mangiafico (33:53)
into that purity. He doesn't want me to not be an excitable passionate person. I ain't. This is me. But the depths of that personality is not me. And I think, you know, all these personality tests out there, I've taken many of them and they've changed over the years. Which just shows you that personality is not permanent. And so many of them have to do with like the way you emote or the way you express yourself.

Nikki Humphrey (33:55)
Thank

Hmm?

Hope Mangiafico (34:22)
And I just say no to that. Of how you are this amazing child of God that was given emotions and giving these beautiful qualities and the enemy wants to take these qualities and make them look distorted and perverted and just using my excitement thing as an example. And it can feel like you're suffocating under these giftings in ways God made you. But no. No. God wants to reverse the curse on the blessings that God has put in your life.

And I'm not there yet. ⁓ I am not. But I can pause now. ⁓ And I realize that because my body doesn't know if it's excitement or I'm about to have an anxiety attack, I do different things. I just learn some new nervous system regulators because I know now that it's related to the nervous system, which creates everything in your body to respond. So like there's little things that Nikki, you might have some of your own. I don't get credit for any of this stuff. God brings

tools into my life and I'm adding to my tool belt and it is what it is. I am not a guru in anything. God does not want me to be a guru. He has clearly told me that. I'm just a little vessel. But like to regulate your nervous system, a containment hug where like your right hand's under your left arm and left hand on your right. And the reason this is helpful is because you feel overwhelmed by your emotions because everything feels bigger than you. And this reminds you

of your size and that you're safe and that there's not this massive thing coming at you. So that's really helpful. Or another thing that I actually have been, I did in my last job every morning and I didn't know why, but it brought me so much peace and now it just came out with this lady talking about these little tactics and I was like, dang, I done did that. I'm like, God's so cool. Let that be an encouragement to you, right?

Like, he has the answers so you don't even need to go to someone. But I have found that God brings me tools that I was already doing to confirm like, hey, who knows all hope? Who can give it to you? But it's to lay on a hard surface because that contact with your back and your arms on the floor is like, I'm here. I'm safe. I'm stable. And you naturally...

Nikki Humphrey (36:29)
Yeah.

Hope Mangiafico (36:43)
take that breath because all of a sudden just that contact or that containment hug it's like it comes out so if you feel like you can't force your own breath do this it comes out the motions the emoting is motioning out of your body trauma does get stuck in the body ⁓ and it manifests as what we label as the bad emotions but it really is just direction but

it will manifest in these explosive ways because it gets stuck and causes sickness. And on that note, because we were talking about briefly about dealing with things later in life and how overwhelming it can feel, it's often why you see people getting sicker as they age.

Nikki Humphrey (37:17)
Yeah. Yeah.

Hope Mangiafico (37:34)
The body screaming for help because everything's trapped. Good and bad's trapped. Because sometimes you get so afraid to emote outwardly that you don't even want to... This is my story. You don't even want to let out the good. I used to be terrified to be happy. I wouldn't let it out. That got stuck.

Nikki Humphrey (37:50)
Yeah.

Hope Mangiafico (37:55)
if you're like, man, i'm really wrestling with a lot of help stuff, i'm telling you there are books out there that are even science-based backing up this truth, but you can find it in scripture because it says a merry heart is good light medicine, right? all kinds of amazing stuff in scripture, but it all is going to be screaming at you and it will get worse with time because it needs to move out and break free.

Nikki Humphrey (38:16)
Mm-hmm.

Hope Mangiafico (38:23)
So you can be fully who you were created to be, healed and whole.

That was...

Nikki Humphrey (38:29)
That was so good. I could relate to so much of that. I think a lot of our listeners and viewers will relate to that too because as you're talking, it reminded me of my childhood where I would just hide. I would hide in corners, would hide in the backyard, I would hide in closets. I didn't want anybody to see me. Because I felt that I was like bad and broken and all of these negative...

Hope Mangiafico (38:42)
Mm.

Mmm.

Nikki Humphrey (38:57)
emotions and I would just hide. And so that turned into as I got older that I couldn't be fully who God created me because that was, and I talked about this in the other episode, like God made me broken. No, God doesn't do that. God doesn't make junk. We are made perfectly whole. He put his love and care and everything into us. He knows all the hairs on her head.

Hope Mangiafico (39:07)
Right.

you

Nikki Humphrey (39:26)
He put us all together just fine. And it's us and our experiences that sometimes we take God's beautiful and precious creation and we manipulate it and we don't treat it very well.

Hope Mangiafico (39:39)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Nikki Humphrey (39:43)
by hiding and suppressing those emotions and like hope said, it makes you sick. I was so sick for so long, so sick. And you kind of, I realize now like looking back, like all of my sickness, all of my issues, all of the tests and hospitalizations and everything that I endured, they could never find one thing medically wrong with me. But there was a bunch of symptoms coming up, but it-

baffled the doctors because they were just like, we can't figure out why you are in this much pain or why this is happening to your body or why your body is rejecting this, that and the other thing.

because I had, my lid was about to blow off of me because everything was just stuck down for a very long time. But once I started taking it apart and dealing with things instead of stuffing them down, that's when things started to change. And in my life, a lot of times when I feel myself doing it again,

Hope Mangiafico (40:26)
Mm.

Nikki Humphrey (40:48)
Like God will just take me out. I'll either get so sick that I can't move off the couch or like something will happen where I just, it's like, girl, sit down because.

Hope Mangiafico (40:58)
Don't get up, sit down.

Nikki Humphrey (41:00)
Yeah, you're doing it again. You are out of control. I don't know what is happening here, but I'm putting you in a Holy Spirit timeout so you can think about what is going on in your life. And I've told Hope this, you know, a bunch of times where she knows I've been putting these. She's like, yeah, God just put you into that timeout. But we have to look at these things and it might not make sense on an earthly

perspective we might be thinking like, why am I always sick or why are these things always happening to me? Maybe God just putting you in a loving time out so you can figure out what is going on in your life and what emotions are attached to that and what are roots of those things that are happening to you.

Hope Mangiafico (41:44)
Right.

Right, because it's like he wants to get your attention and if we're not paying attention, how's he gonna get it? You know? Again, he's author and he works all things for good.

and he'll turn a sickness into a healing for you. He really will. And I mean, I'm still believing for that in some areas of my life. But I'm very passionate about that because I've seen it in my own life just like you. ⁓ We're doing so much damage to my body out of a place of hate that I'm reaping the repercussions now and that's called a consequence. And it sucks.

Nikki Humphrey (42:27)
Mm-hmm.

Hope Mangiafico (42:27)
And I

didn't know at the time why the reason I was pushing so hard, right? I didn't realize the root was so much self-hate. ⁓ I had no clue. And you still, you will not fully understand the depths of any of this until he reveals it. And I want to always emphasize that because Nikki and I, we do it, I know we emphasize it. But we have been on this journey now for a minute. Not forever. You know, it's been like six years, six, seven years. ⁓

Nikki Humphrey (42:34)
Hmm?

Mm-hmm. Yep. That's right.

Hope Mangiafico (42:57)
yeah roughly. but it's a constant growing and my revelation of self hate started 2020-2019. it's still showing up in my journal today with a different face. it's not as bad. and so just know that every little thing he plucks out with you as you let your emotions be a direction into healing

Nikki Humphrey (43:12)
Mm-hmm.

Hope Mangiafico (43:25)
you will sense a shift. And I think that's the encouragement that people need to hear is we're not pursuing the fullness, waiting for the fullness, because you will feel every little pluck up of all the weeds that are growing. You'll feel it. And that's the encouragement, because he's so good, that he will allow for that. So you don't want to give... I mean, we have moments we've shared that we've wanted to give up.

Nikki Humphrey (43:41)
Yep.

Hope Mangiafico (43:54)
But then he'll come in and just like, look at how far you've come.

Nikki Humphrey (43:57)
Yeah.

Hope Mangiafico (43:58)
He did that to me very recently.

Nikki Humphrey (44:01)
Thank

Hope Mangiafico (44:02)
And we need that.

Nikki Humphrey (44:02)
We do, and I think I talked about this on our last episode, but I was saying like when things are coming up now, I'm trying to be better at immediately addressing it and giving to God. In Psalm 56, three, David cried out, when I'm afraid, I put my trust in you. And so that's what I've been trying to do when fear comes up, anxiety comes up, or I'm stressing about a situation that's out of control.

Hope Mangiafico (44:15)
⁓ Yes

you

Nikki Humphrey (44:32)
I'm like, God, I put my trust in you. I believe that you have the right outcome. So I'm handing this all over to you. I'm not trying to intervene or get caught up in it and let my fear and anxiety take control of the situation because you are in control, God, I am not. And trying to just ping pong it back to God. And when I do, like Hope was saying, like, you feel that release, you feel that.

because I'm naming it, I'm claiming it, I'm giving it to God, and I'm like, your turn, I'm out. You're in control. I'm recognizing that I am not.

Hope Mangiafico (45:13)
Yes, that's so good. ⁓ And for me personally, I'm gonna end on this story that I feel like I have to share because the exact word you just shared, Nikki, is unbelievable. ⁓ My eyes are, my eyes are, my eyes are watering. ⁓ So I just truly accepted the Lord a week ago as of this weekend.

that he is safe. Like truly, and actually the final acceptance of that was saying it out loud just like you said, Nikki, of saying about your emotions. And he brought up Psalm 91,2 to me where it says, will say of the Lord, he is my refuge and my forges, my God, and whom I will trust. And this is related to my dad. ⁓ I know my dad never felt safe.

and didn't know God until the last two years of his life. And I never felt safe for a multitude of reasons, right? We all have, I think we all actually struggle with safety. ⁓ And so that's some of the barrier we have with our father, who is the only one that can help us process this stuff. And ⁓ I didn't get to celebrate Father's Day, so I wrote a letter last Saturday to him. And ⁓ I'm writing, and I say something about like, I realized he didn't feel safe, and I said, Dad,

Nikki Humphrey (46:19)
Mm-hmm.

Hope Mangiafico (46:39)
I know you're experiencing that safety now and by faith I am declaring that I know that safety too. And then I said, hey, and this is where my goofiness comes out and my little excitability and my like child-likeness, in the spirit can we get matching tattoos of Psalm 91 too? And so I got a temporary tattoo of it as a reminder of like last week I finally said, God you are safe.

Nikki Humphrey (46:46)
you

Hope Mangiafico (47:09)
and I believe it. And it was through my father's passing and seeing his life and getting better understanding of his life and seeing what his journey was like because he didn't feel safe and then highlighting my own lack of safety and that I still had that barrier up. And I wanted to share that because know and keep pursuing the truth that he is safe enough for all your emotions.

for all you feel, all your life events. He is your God. He is your fortress and your refuge. You can trust Him. And it will be a journey. You guys have now listened to many episodes by us and you probably are shocked that I just now am saying, hey, I told God you're safe.

this little temporary tattoo on the hololens gonna be there. It faded real quick but it's a sweet reminder like God in heaven will I have this little tattoo because I said today's the day that I trust you.

Nikki Humphrey (48:14)
So good. And it reminds me of Psalm 34, four. says, sought the Lord and he answered me. He delivered me from all my fear.

Hope Mangiafico (48:19)
Mmm, yes.

⁓ A-L-L, all of them.

Nikki Humphrey (48:27)
Yeah.

Yes. Yeah. Every single one. We just have to say it, name it, claim it, give it to God.

Hope Mangiafico (48:39)
And fear, yeah, we haven't even used that word today. I can't believe that. That might be another episode. I don't know, because fear is a big one. But it's still nonetheless, even if we didn't do another episode on that, it still falls into the same category as all emotions. Yeah.

Nikki Humphrey (48:51)
I mean, you could put in any feeling

word into this. You could write out Psalm 34, four, I sought the Lord and he answered me. He delivered me from all my anxiety. He delivered me from all my depressive thoughts. He delivered me from all my hurt. He delivered me anything, anything. And that's what we need.

Hope Mangiafico (48:58)
Mmm.

Nikki Humphrey (49:17)
When I talk about putting sticky notes around my house and things like you could put that on your mirror. I sought the Lord, he answered me. He delivered me from all my whatever. You could put it as a screensaver. Just those reminders that name your emotions, claim your emotions, say it out loud. Emotions are a gift from God meant to draw you closer to his heart, period. By naming, claiming.

Hope Mangiafico (49:45)
you

Nikki Humphrey (49:47)
and regulating them under his guidance, you can experience deeper peace, healthier relationships, and spiritual growth.

Hope Mangiafico (49:56)
Yes, that'll do it. That's a great bow on top of everything we said. And I love that word regulating. That's all he's wanting to do is taking the chaoses in our life and bring them to a stable place that can only be found in him. And that's why we seek him above all else.

Nikki Humphrey (50:23)
So thank you everybody for spending time with us today. If this episode spoke to your heart, would you share it with a friend who might need to be reminded that emotions aren't something to hide from, but something God can heal and use. You don't have to have it all figured out today. Just have to show up honestly and let God do only what he can do. Restore, renew, and remind you who you are.

Hope Mangiafico (50:53)
Amen. Until next time. See you later.

14 Navigating Emotions Through Faith

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