Hi.
I'm Hope.
Hi.
I'm Nikki, and welcome to equip fellowship podcast, your place for faith, family.
And unstoppable growth.
Hope and I are just two Jesus loving friends on a mission to share personal stories, resources, and real talk about our triumphs breakthroughs, struggles and setbacks.
Why? Because we believe you are called to live victoriously, and we are here to equip you with holy spirit led tools, strategies to strengthen your faith, transform your mindset, and walk boldly in god's promises because here's the truth.
You have been given great and precious promises by god.
So grab your coffee, lean in, and let's grow together.
It's time to step into everything god has for you.
So that made my okay.
This is not new.
Right? That made my eyes water.
You had such a motherly tone this time.
And I think that's perfect.
It just, like, really warmed my heart.
And I won't go down that rabbit hole, but I recently heard Uh, what was I listening to? I was listening to an interview or something.
Yeah.
I think it was an interview.
And they were talking about how, I think Paul says in the Bible that, like, he was I don't know.
It was the Corinthians someone he was talking to.
And he was saying like, wow, you guys really know what you're doing.
You've learned things, but you have no mothers or fathers.
And he this interview was talking about, like, how important that is because there's so many father wounds and mother wounds.
And we have lacked that in the spiritual context of life.
And I I felt that in my spirit of god, like, right, like, bringing people forth, if you will, on raising people up to help others restore others through spiritual maturation to help become fathers and mothers to other people in the body of Christ, and your tone matched that so good just then.
It was so warm.
And I just had to that was not planned, but, um, I felt that, and it was just so amazing.
I think What you say about the tone is, like, there's no coincidences in the kingdom of god.
Like, what we're talking about today? Yeah.
We're talking about communing, being close to the father, repentance, And that's a oh, I just got the chills.
Like, that's a whole different connection with god.
And it and talking about tone, it sets a whole different tone for our life.
It does.
And it just, like, god, thank you.
Like, Oh, my gosh.
Yeah.
Like, my eyes won't stop watering.
It's so wonderful.
Um, so, yeah, that's what we're talking about today.
Right? Uh, I have to just share the little backstory of, like, where this came to be because as you always or intro shares, um, is it's holy spirit led tools.
Right? And we just press in.
And I told you prior to this, uh, meeting today that you mentioned repentance last week, and it, like, it did not leave me.
I was like, oh, there's something so good on Nikki sharing that part of her journey.
And you said it a couple times, I believe, in the last interview, And it just felt, like, heavy on my heart.
Like, we've gotta talk about where repentance is.
And, like, yeah, what it means as you are walking out this journey with the lord, because I think you you can have your own story.
I have my own story of misunderstanding.
And boy, does that hurt us if we don't understand the truth of what that is? Yes.
So I'm eager to see, like, what comes to pass today for us and for the listeners because is good stuff.
That's right.
I think for years, even in our early walk, we didn't really understand what repentance was.
Mm-mm.
And we hope and I still walked around life with a lot of guilt and shame even though we were trying to build a relationship with the father.
We were in the world.
World.
We're in the world.
World and also in the word, but still more worldly.
So we didn't really get what repentance was.
Can I even pause you right there? Because I think something to go deeper into before even defining repentance is This is a personal answer, by the way, there.
I don't think maybe there's a scripture that comes to mind for you.
But defining what even worldly is, because I think I even misunderstood what that meant, because I would have never said I said this in our first episode together.
Like, I was not that clean Shay, worldly person.
Right.
But I was worldly.
And I just I don't know.
I don't know if we can, like, clean that up before even talking about repentance.
So we understand that this includes all of us.
That's right.
Yeah.
All of us.
So I know for me, when you shared what you just did about being worldly, like, it was still allowing those yucky feelings of shame and guilt.
And really, if Satan was cast down to earth and, you know, we talk about him ruling this territory, if you will.
Like, it's all the things that don't align with god because he's because Satan's the prince of this world.
So it is the emotions, the negative emotion.
It is the actions of, I don't know, abusing things, um, turning to idols and drinking and escaping from reality.
All of those things are worldly.
Um, but it doesn't have to be always outward actions.
Right? Um, in inward heart, you might be able to complete this sentence better than I can, but, uh, an inward heart that's cold towards god is worldly because it matches the opposite kingdom.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think for me adding on to what you just said, worldly.
And I didn't even know I was doing it.
Worldly for me was p putting people.
Oh, jeez.
Head of Stalls.
And having complete buy in to those people.
And hope knows, like, I spent oodles of money on this one person.
I have I have chewy.
This, like, focus and just like, this is the way I'm following this person.
I'm I'm doing what they say because I wanted that worldly affirmation that they were getting.
But since I was following a person and not god and his will and his path for me.
I was following an earthly person who is fallible who sins that it never was an alignment for me.
Like, nothing worked out in that worldly way.
And I got hurt, and I got disappointed.
And now I look, I was like, I was disappointed in a person.
That's right.
We all make mistakes.
Like, that is the thing.
That exactly I said that.
Person, and I wasn't putting my hope in my future in god and what he has to say for me and his plan for me and staying on his road map for me.
Right.
And using the people word, people pleasing as well.
Same concept.
I was just as you're speaking that way, that's totally a worldly thing that I have heard come out of so many people's mouths.
We are aware of some of the things that have even made us worldly.
It's not always a lack of awareness.
Correct.
It's a, you know, it's a comfort.
Yes.
It's a control, um, a control thing at the end of the day.
Just remember, like, how we were, like, we used to post on some and we used to be so concerned about the outcome of a stinking social media post.
Right.
When it's, like, the faith in that.
Is that There's no faith.
And, man, uh, even I have conviction this is only about people pleasing.
I was talking to you before this recording.
And it's, like, was that people leaving words.
Is that is that what I'm doing? Because I might have to pause this and go sit anyways, um, I'm working We're we're working progress, right, as you just stated.
Okay.
Uh, we can't put people on pedestals.
Uh, it's not it's it's a real bad idea.
And that's I'm gonna leave it on that.
Um, yeah, because it's the truth.
I don't think I used to even wanna accept that being truth, be it how you were saying, like, putting other people on pedestals or, like, me thinking I could reach a certain status.
Oh.
Yes.
Right.
That's crazy.
So anyways, as you can tell, worldly means a lot of things.
So I just I really wanted to emphasize that because for a long time, I was thinking, you know, cussing, watching bad things, going out and partying, um, using jugs, you know.
Like, it's just all all the things that most of us maybe had a season of.
Right.
Maybe, but not a lifestyle.
And so we disconnect sometimes from this concept of worthiness.
So anyway, I I think that's a good compliment to then go into.
Why we all need to understand her business? Right.
Do you wanna talk about what repentance means for you or do you want me to kick it off? Uh, you kick it off, Sister.
Okay.
So I was just journaling the other day.
This time on my computer.
I I journal in a lot of places.
I do do.
There's not one right place to journal, not one right way to journal we're gonna give you, like, the any way that you see fit works.
So they're like Yeah.
I would say if I can compliment that, this was actually really cool.
I won't elaborate too much, but to your point of allowing, um, the permission, uh, to journal wherever you want.
My uncle reached out to me recently, so talked about writing a book.
And he and it's cool because he doesn't he doesn't follow the lord.
Um, and I see god moving in our relationship, and it's beautiful.
It's really cool.
Uh, but I say that because he's really into writing.
And so he knows all kinds of authors, all kinds of different styles of right things that, like, I don't know.
I'll be honestly.
I don't know.
I journal.
I'll write books.
And he was just, like, hope just remember there's no one way to write.
Write how you write.
And it, like, it clicked for me of, like, I can write a book probably on how exactly I even journal when I communicate with god.
It can unfold as a book, like, literally nothing is in a box.
And so, I mean, I know that's just an added point to what you were sharing, but I think that was, for me, even a deeper understanding of that permission because we even think writing is so formal, and you gotta do x y and z because the publisher will read it, whatever it may be.
Dude, no.
Like, let it flow.
However, you want it to flow a sister, it's gonna be good and just truly, just art.
So, anyways, I thought it was cool.
It's so good.
Yeah.
So I wrote, this is my definition.
Repentance is a beautiful gift from god that brings us back into alignment with his love and purpose.
It's not about guilt or shame.
It's about transformation, renewal, and a fresh start.
Here's um yeah.
It's not just saying, I'm sorry.
It's realigning our lives with his truth and grace.
That's it.
That's so good.
It summarizes everything.
So so perfectly.
And to compliment that, um, something I recently had a revelation on.
I hope this comes out well.
Um, someone reached out to me after I posted something on online.
And I was just answer I don't know.
It was just flowing.
Right? Uh, my response to them through a text message.
And I said, what really connected for me was my heartbreaking for what breaks his? Yes.
That's a song.
I saw that song a million times.
I mean, this is a conversation that happened just the last couple months.
And it makes you cry thinking about it.
I, as a daughter of god, always sought break my heart for what breaks yours meant, oh, I see that person suffering out there.
Oh, my heart needs to be heavy for them.
I need to carry that burden.
And to compliment your definition, I start understanding that my heartbreaking for what breaks his is that.
But it's also my heartbreaking for anything that's kept me from him and the things that he wants to give me because he loves me so much.
And my heart breaking because a divide was up away from my loving father, and that broke my heart.
And it is actions.
It is bitterness.
It is jealousy.
It is envy.
It is going out and making bad decisions.
It's allowing things in your different eye gate, ear gate, mouth gate, all those things.
All of that.
But it boils down to that separation, and his heart breaks because of that separation.
And I just now recently understood that repentance was truly, and and and meaning it to the depths of who I am.
Is that my heart started breaking for all of it.
And that's where that freedom is, that renewal you're talking about, that love that we were created in.
Like Jeremiah talks about in the womb, even before then, I mean, we've been creative forever.
Um, I want that.
Yeah.
I want that restoration and renewal.
With my father.
It's, uh, as you are talking, and this happens a lot when Pope talks.
I see.
In my spirit, like, a visual representation of what happened.
And maybe this will help even enhance more about what you said and you explained it so well.
So it's just like if hope's on one side and god's on the other, you know, that's not how it is, but that's how I saw it in my spirit.
Totally.
Every time hope would do one of those things, you know, whether it's if you don't whatever it is that she would need repentance for.
It was like putting this big boulder down.
And you just like, every time you do one of those actions that wrongs god that hurts his heart, that, like, makes him grieve for us, makes him long for us to turn to him.
It's like creating this huge stone wall that causes a separation from us.
And god.
And I feel like our stone walls were like pretty high, but once we learn repentance, it's not just taking one stone off at a time.
It's like god taking this I'm getting the goosebumps, a sledgehammer in his hands and just knocking off chunks of wall and just like giving you this explosive freedom to connect with him on such a higher level.
It's just like every wall, anything that was causing separation from god.
It's like it's like gone.
And I think that's when we repent.
That's why we feel something happening in our mind, in our body, in our spirit.
Change happens.
That's exactly right.
It's a and it's not the way we define feeling in today's world.
Right? It's a it's a it's it's a freedom feeling that you can't put into the English language or probably any language at that rate.
Um, and it's so cool that, uh, Lord gave you that vision because I wish I still had this, but I think I was at work one day.
I was struggling.
And I took a post it note.
And I actually drew boulders placed on the side.
It was almost like he was showing me the work I've done, and these boulders were no longer in front of me, but they were on the side and I had a direct path to him.
Yeah.
I drew that years ago.
So it's exactly that's accurate, sister.
That's all I can say.
I wish I had that.
I keep those things for a while, and then I'm like, okay, god.
That was beautiful.
I don't need to hold on to it because, you know, I have other things that compliment it now.
But, oh, I wish I had that post it to show.
That's so cool.
Um, but I love that, and it's true for all of us, um, their walls.
Yeah.
I'm gonna ask you a question that our listeners might be asking themselves.
How do you know what you need to repent of? I like what you said earlier.
It's absolutely not, um, regret and, like, I think, oh, I can't remember exactly how you said it, but it's not, like, you're feeling bad because you don't want someone to be mad at you or whatever.
It's not a selfish regret.
Mhmm.
But it's, like, It's an it's a nudge of, like, that wasn't good.
That wasn't right.
That you and I talk about alignment a light a lot.
Right? Like, as you spend time in the word and you get to know the father, you're like, That was not aligned.
Yeah.
But you can only know alignment by knowing him.
Mhmm.
And the scriptures and what he says about you and spending time with him.
I guess for me, I'm gonna share a story of yesterday.
Timely.
Yesterday was my birthday, and it started off really hard.
Really hard.
And I might cry during this.
Um, every birthday has always felt like it started off really hard.
And, praise the lord through time with him and exposing myself to different teachings and ministries, which I know you can relate to as well.
Like, it's really good to just, as long as it feels like it's from the lord, like, pull from different people because you actually prevent from raising someone up on a pedestal that way, and you get to see god using all these people's gifts.
I, um, I have learned about a spirit of accusation.
And I knew from months ago that I, I was real good at accusing people.
Of not doing x, y, and z.
Right? Oh, they should be doing this.
It's I think I think the spirit of accusation unfolds as expectations, which raise your hand if you can ever expect.
Right? Like, or you know that you've expected certain things on the end time connect, out of people, whatever.
I was the queen of that, but this is really cool what happened yesterday.
So, anyways, I was not thriving.
I was, like, constant accusations were running through my head of like, things were not being done how I wanted.
I had I had said I wanted this, and this isn't happening, and, meh, meh, meh, meh, and all this.
And and I was, like, repenting for the accusations, but I couldn't keep up with them.
Well, that's a really big red flag.
When there is a theme in your life and you're like, oh my gosh, this won't stop.
Um, one, they're not you.
If you're if it's in here, don't don't, like, you might come in agreement for a moment, but realize They're planted by the enemy.
And if you agree with them long enough, they become a part of you.
It's like a a covenant, a contract.
We like to use the word contract on their things.
Not a god.
Um, they're like a contract with that yuck.
And then you really wanna repent because you gotta get free of that.
Uh, so I was repenting, and I I knew that I need to because I knew that my accusations were not accurate.
Anything that does not edify somebody else, Even if they have a bad action is not in alignment.
Because we are restorers through Christ, we help bring other people to Christ.
So me accusing of them, sure I can vent for a moment.
But we're real bad at venting and then entering into another realm of gossip or whatever it may be.
So you really wanna be careful with that.
Um, but I was just, again, going through the day, repenting, and I was like, I couldn't keep up.
Now as I'm repenting, that opens up a door usually for further revelation from the lord as to what the heck you're battling.
So you just gotta open the door of saying, oh, I'm so sorry, which we're gonna talk about as long as I stop telling so many stories today.
Um, we're gonna talk about what repentance looks like.
It's really easy.
Truly, it's really easy.
And I'm gonna let Nikki definitely emphasize that because it's beautiful.
Um, but it opened the door to him saying hope.
At a young age, you felt like no one loved you well on your birthday.
So you always expected to accuse people of not doing enough.
Like, I even remember in high school, like, mourning of, and, you know, you He tried in high school and people would paint rocks.
My name was never painted on a rock.
Right? So until my mom told some friends to do it, which doesn't count.
And that created agreements with a spirit of accusation.
I've been carrying that on March 31 for at least I mean, easily twenty years.
And guess what? With each passing year of you allowing bitterness, accusations, hate, uh, envy, gels, any of that to fester in you, it gets stronger.
It turns from a sin to what is a known transgression because now it becomes a habit, and then it becomes a inequity that you see passed down into your bloodline.
If you see your children doing something or you see you doing something that your parents did, It's likely an iniquity because they never repented for it because they didn't understand that it's not just one of those separation from god.
It changes everything.
And most people are moved enough by that because they love their future generations.
They're told it enough that they'll do the work, but it sets you free too.
So I'm doing all that.
God, I'm literally getting dressed.
I'm in the closet yesterday morning literally getting dressed.
And I'm like, oh my gosh.
God, I'm so sorry.
You allow me to come to the world on this day.
And for almost twenty years, I have been bitter and angry every morning accusing others and not even allowing for any blessings to flow that you wanna give me.
Others wanna give me.
My husband's trying to give me, but I'm mad at him for a million things that are stupid.
I I mean, let's be honest.
Um, I have to repent to him a lot.
And my heart broke because he brought me to the world on March 31, on Easter of all days.
And I've been angry.
Every morning when that day comes.
That broke my heart because he gave me this life.
So that's my store my most recent story.
How do you know? You see a theme.
You stop to observe that theme.
And then you go into the steps that are very simple, and then that opens the door.
Potentially for even more freedom because it usually is more than just a now action.
It's a habit that you've created.
Mhmm.
Yeah.
And I knew Hope had a bad day, and she didn't even tell me till just now.
Uh-uh.
Shut the front door.
I knew it.
I knew what? I have a history of, like, the same thing of, like, I I think I broke it off a couple years ago, but just, like, resenting my birthday, like, it's always gonna be bad, this and that and the other thing.
So I, uh, I sent Hope a Marco Polo yesterday And I'm like, she's not watching it.
She's not watching I didn't watch it till I couldn't sleep last night.
I wasn't at twenty AM.
This girl is not watching my Marco polo because she is having feelings about her birthday.
And she doesn't want the joy bomb that I'm about to release on her on her birthday.
And so that's when me as a friend starts doing intercessory prayer on behalf of Hope.
To like help her get to the stage of acknowledgement of what she's doing or repentance to the father or just like help her write her ship because I know it's going down a downward spiral right now.
And so, yeah, I felt it, but I wasn't gonna say anything because I just knew in my spirit that something was off.
And then I was just praying for you all day yesterday.
Well, thank you.
It, uh, it unfolded well.
And, you know, what's funny is I didn't watch your Marco Polo, but I could see the little transcript in the first one whenever you send it, which you send it pretty dang early.
Um, and you were like, I hope you're having a great day so far.
I'm like, I haven't even got my day started.
It's looking like a, you know, like this.
Thumbs down, Bill.
Um, and it's my birthday.
And so that's so funny because literally when I saw that, the transcription, I was like, yeah, no.
That's wild.
That's it's not wild because that also shows what relationships and community can do when you allow them to flourish and build and, uh, be vulnerable, um, which we we go continue to share how much vulnerability we've shared between us.
We'll continue to, you know, express that to the people and And to think Nikki then, because it did end up well as soon as I realized what I was harboring, um, and blocking.
You know, it's that same wall.
You're blocking both ways.
Yes.
Yes.
So, anyways, it was great at the end of the day, and I felt so much better.
I mean, that's what you talked about feeling.
Um, as soon as I was in the closet and I did that, and I mean, I shed a little bit of tears because I was so up set that I have allowed that to be in me for so long.
Um, and I repented on behalf of anyone in my family that's done the same thing because we all tend to start hating birthdays.
That's a curse on your life.
You're cursing yourself.
Right.
Just depends on when you start doing that.
Um, and so I repented on my family's behalf.
Uh, which is always a good thing to add.
You might wanna add that in our little steps on how to, um, how to fit.
Yeah.
And I instantly felt better.
Yeah.
But you sent your marco polo before I did that.
So that's really cool.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Okay.
So Hope and I were talking about repentance.
And we came up with six steps.
So I'm gonna go over the first five and then hope's gonna come in and wrap it up with the six and hope just gave a really good real time what repentance looks like.
Again, it doesn't have to be formal.
It doesn't have to be in a certain spot.
It doesn't have to be in a certain place.
It doesn't have to be anything besides when it comes up, repent.
Keep keep going, you know.
And quick question for you.
Would you add anything from your personal uh, journey of, like, what it feels like when you're like, oh, I need to repent.
Is it similar, uh, to what I show? It's very similar.
And now that I'm getting Mhmm.
I'm not an expert at repentance, but I'm getting better at recognizing in myself when I'm feeling like, oh, that is not in alignment with the father.
Since I've been doing that consistently, probably since the beginning of the year.
So not long.
It's April 1.
Uh, today.
But because I've been repenting, the father god has been bringing up things from my past, my childhood.
Yes.
Because it runs like a quick movie right through my consciousness, and I've been repenting those things, but I did from way, way back in the younger thing.
That's such a good point.
It will start off as like, little in the moment things, and I think that's you being obedient.
Yeah.
It's like trust you with the little who trusts you with the lot.
So if you've step out an obedience of something that's highlighted in the now, it may take a couple of years, but it'll start picking up and going, that's really good, Nikki.
That's a good nugget.
And that is the truth.
And I can attest to that too.
Yeah.
And it can be repentance.
Once we give you the steps, it can be really quick.
It doesn't always have to be a long sometimes it's a longer process.
But sometimes it's just like quick.
So here's our steps.
One, recognize like Hope talked about how I just talked about acknowledge the sin and it's impact.
Knowledge whatever is coming up for you, whatever out of misalignment, whatever giving you that yuck feeling, acknowledge it, and the impact that it's had on your life.
And once you do that, two, regret.
Feel genuine sorrow, not just for the consequences, but for grieving god's heart.
We know what a not heartfelt apology is.
We've all been on the receiving end of that.
And I've given it.
Yeah.
And god knows.
Like, you need to feel like that genuine sorrow for what you did.
And not for the consequences.
And I think I we don't need to deep dive into this, but I think that if you grew up in certain beliefs, it was more often repenting because of the consequences.
Right.
Yeah.
And so just realize that that might take someone training and thinking.
Mhmm.
Yeah.
Probably largely, to be honest.
Um, that's okay.
There's grace.
Yeah.
And it's just more like mending your relationship, like taking your relationship to the next level.
It's amending.
I love that.
Yes.
That's good.
Yes.
So we have one recognized.
We have two regret.
Three return.
Turn away from sin and towards god's way.
Like, once you repent for that, then we are all human.
We all make mistakes.
We might go back to that sin again.
But trying to learn how you can change your life to close that door on that sin or that pattern or that ungodly habit and turn towards Got.
Sometimes it's instantaneous.
Sometimes it takes some work.
And then for receipt.
Accept god's mercy and forgiveness.
This is almost my favorite part.
Like, just, you know, once you recognize, once you feel the sorrow, once you return, and then I just like to sit and just accept god's mercy and forgiveness.
Like, let it wash over me.
That thing that I just repented of, I just imagine god's grace, god's up.
God forgiveness.
Just washing over me from my head to my toes.
Just washing out that area clean and just letting it flow away.
So that makes me wanna add another compliment to that in the same number.
Yeah.
But you and I practiced this years ago, and it's become part of my repentance process.
And I'm just not remembering replace.
So that washing has to replace what was there.
So if you do not sit in that receiving, you will not have the replacement of what was there.
Right? I typically verbally replace.
And sometimes it is often just like, lord, I replace it.
And again, I'm I'm I'm picturing the washing just like Nicki's talking about.
But lord, I replace it with your love, with your faith, and maybe there's a fruit of the spirit that's popping up, right, your patience, your joy, whatever it may be.
But you want to really see yourself replacing what was there.
You don't wanna leave that spot void.
And that's why this is Nikki's favorite because it actually is almost like the bow on top.
It's what seals seals the crack that was made.
Yeah.
In your wholeness.
Mhmm.
Yeah.
And it's replacing your worldly identity with god's identity? Absolutely.
So it's don't don't forget to spend time in that receiving.
That was good.
And then five, renew, walk in a newness of life empowered by the Holy Spirit.
Again, you don't wanna just pick up that bad thing and whatever you repented of and, like, put it on you.
You've just been renewed.
You've just replaced that bad thing that that you gave to god, and he gave you his goodness to fill that void.
Like, walk away.
Renewed and refreshed.
And just going out, feeling I don't know.
I feel a lot of freedom once I repent.
I feel it.
Yeah.
It's Right.
Like, this, like, freedom.
Like, yes, it accept it, like, receive it, be renewed by it.
Even if it's uncomfortable, it will be uncomfortable because we've been in bondage so long.
Even if you've been on this journey, like we have for a while, you still can feel that bondage, and you've still allowed it for as long as you have because it's comfortable.
Right.
So you have to be okay with being on comfortable with what god's trying to do.
If you don't let it be okay, I can't say you'll have freedom.
And it is uncomfortable.
Because you wanna pick it back up.
You wanna pick it back up real quick.
Double dipping, girl.
Yeah.
The double I was thinking about the double dipping.
Like, you wanna pick it up real quick because you're so used to having that around.
Which kinda complements, um, another word that came to mind was resisting.
Like, you don't have to go through these steps every time.
If you practice resisting once you've got that freedom, You're not sitting there renouncing all day.
And that's something else I wanna speak freedom over each person is we you hear the body of Christ talk often about, um, or the church and people in general, about how much of a sin nature we can have.
So then you're like, well, day.
Literally, I had this conversation or someone.
I'm sitting here all day.
Like, we're fainting.
It's like, no.
No.
No.
No.
You do it once.
Receive do the whole process and receive it.
Now you just resist.
There may be a dark throne where it's like you're starting to think negatively about someone.
If you don't take action on it, you didn't sin.
That's the enemy trying to plant things.
So now you resist.
That's where the battle is won at the end of the day.
Once you've cleaned the mess, you feel the freedom.
The freedom's happened, but the resisting is how you stay free.
And it can feel and Nikki and I can attest to this too.
It can feel like a lot of work, but just like Nikki shared of how she's gotten better, so have I.
And resisting, I feel stronger now, and it's not like I'm busting out a sword every day anymore.
It's like, dude, don't come near me.
I know who I am in Christ.
Get away.
And I'm done.
It takes that much and that's it in a lot of scenarios.
Maybe not the deep deep ones, like this accusation thing that came up yesterday.
Um, but a lot of times.
And it's wonderful.
So Yeah.
Just remember to resist and know that you're not always gonna be sitting in a chair all day repenting.
Right.
He wants you to do things in your life for his purpose, for his kingdom.
Dependence matters, but he ain't trying to glue you to a chair.
Yeah.
And make you stuck all day.
It's this beaut it's this beautiful flow.
And I think Nicki and I eagerly wanna share with you through our own experience.
What does this flow? What can this flow look like? Mhmm.
And we're living it out now, trying it's it's this unfamiliar place for us too.
Totally.
It totally is.
Now you had the six point Yes, which is restoring others to wholeness.
And, um, I love that.
And it taps into part of my testimony I shared earlier too of when I went through the accusation thing.
I repented on behalf of my bloodline too.
God has shown me time and time again what my repentance did not just for upcoming generations, but the past two.
Yeah.
I could Cryer River thinking about watching chains fall off my family because I repented on their behalf.
All you have to do is stand in the gap.
It's the intersession Nikki did for me, which is I have so much gratitude by the end of yesterday of the people who love me so well.
You've got just a few people that love you well.
You are rich beyond measures, and I just have to share that because I am understanding that.
I am so well fee because I have some deep love.
And I would never wanna change that.
Um, so and that's part of that motivation too is when you start feeling that love, all you wanna do is restore.
Restore the people that have hurt you.
Restore the stranger on the street that is hurting.
Restore the person that looks like they're crying or they're having a bad day where you're sensing.
Cause god gives you all these spiritual senses.
Nikki has her own.
I have mine.
They operate differently.
Praise the lord with the whole body.
We get to do all kinds of cool stuff.
Tap into that and restore others.
Once you've gotten free of something, it's like in the spirit you're now given authority over certain things, and I still don't fully understand that.
I know God is teaching me that with type one diabetes.
I'm eager for that day where the full fruition of understanding comes for me on that, but he is showing me hope you keep pursuing me.
You're gonna see some pretty cool stuff.
But that's not just me.
That's just what he's doing to encourage me.
That's you.
That's you, Nikki.
That's every person listening.
And boy, this restoration fire me up.
Right? That's my that's the whole point.
Well, it's reason number the last number because it's exciting.
It is.
And that's why I wrote notes about, like, why repentance is a joyful journey? One, it restores our relationship with god.
I meant to that.
It breaks the chains like you were just saying and sets us free not only us but generationally, you know, in the past and in the future, It invites us into a deeper walk with Jesus.
Again, knocking down that stone wall and like not having a barrier to our relationship.
And the last one, at least to spiritual growth and transformation.
And as you share that, it's restoration this way with the whole godhead to her point.
She mentioned god and she mentioned Jesus, and it helps strengthen your communication with Holy Spirit.
It strengthens this way.
With other people and assignments here.
Yes.
Nikki and I'm sure over many episodes will talk about our personal journey with self problems.
So it restores everything.
True full restoration and that's so good.
What a good episode? It's like, who knew? And in a million years, we would love to talk about repentance.
Who knew? Anyone would wanna hear about it, really? And I just I'm so eager.
It's so good.
Yeah.
So any any last notes before we I I feel that we should pray or excuse me.
Close in prayer.
Do you have any extra thoughts? No.
No.
Okay.
This is so good.
Alright.
So, yeah, lately, we've been closing in, um, a verse that the lord will give us sometimes.
And then today, it just felt really, um, I thought on my heart, the Lord highlighted, um, that we just pray over anyone listening, uh, because I know this is kinda crazy, uh, that it's this exciting.
And Are we just pray that you you understand? So, um, and and get it to the depths of your heart and who you are.
Uh, so let's let's pray.
Oh, heavenly father.
Thank you so much for this conversation.
I am I have so much gratitude, lord.
Um, part of a selfish.
I have so much gratitude for my own life and what you've done.
Um, I have so much gratitude to have been on a journey so far with Nikki.
And then I have so much gratitude as I enter your courts with praise and thanksgiving.
It's kinda cool.
That was not planned.
But so much gratitude for the people listening to this because they're hearing potentially a side of repentance that they have never heard bored.
And it's a side that is your side.
It is your heart.
It is your heart for people to understand that you are love.
Scripter says you are love yet.
We do not understand it.
And I pray that by listening to this podcast today, the listeners can can understand a little bit more of of why in the world, how it's been taught sometimes, it sounds like it's just to get our get our act together, to to be better, to just be buttoned up and poised, but in actuality, it's so you can pour and pour and pour into us to break chains.
For generations.
And god, I feel really heavy on my heart.
Um, so many people feel so terrible about things that they've done.
And they're so afraid of it being uncovered.
And they may know just because they learned it maybe back in the day from Sunday school or church that, you know, got already knows.
And you you already know all the things, lord, and they don't have to speak it, but there is this freedom when it comes to the light, and they're afraid of that light.
And god, I just pray that they have an understanding that you are there with wide open arms.
And that's why Nikki really in that step, uh, the process of repentance.
The first one is recognize, but the biggest thing is recognizing it out loud to you.
Lord, I can feel like the the hole that bird that burden is literally I see a hole actually, that the burden is creating in their hearts.
It's like gets literally burnt through and only you can nourish it, fill it, seal it, and heal it.
And I've just through through mine and Nikki's relationship with you, Lauren.
Uh, just pray over them that they can they can just say lord, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry for whatever it is that I did.
And and I want I want what you have.
I want your love.
I want every piece of you.
And so just with a great declaration, Lord, um, just to clear over each person that's listening their lives of this falling off lord from This moment forward, anyone that can hear our voices for that burden to fall off and just open their mouth.
And that opening be enough.
To set them free and to begin the snowball effect just like Nikki was explaining, and I, um, complimented as well of we start small and it just catapults into being able to move faster, move deeper and fulfill all that you've caught us to.
You've designed each of us for a purpose lord, and we've been held back due to decisions due to other people's decisions due to agreements, lord.
And I just pray washing of your love right now over every person so they can feel the trajectory of their life changing right now.
Seal all of these things in the heavenlies so that it is done on earth as it is in heaven.
I say this prayer in your son's magnificent name.
Amen.
Amen.
I win.
It was so good.
I know I'm crying too.
Um, Bible verse came up.
Stop it.
Of course, it did.
Yay.
What is it? Acts three nineteen, repent then, and turn to god.
So that your sins may be wiped out that times of refreshing may come.
Uh.
The lord.
That's literally perfect.
Oh my gosh.
Amen.
Amen.
Amen.
Amen.
Oh, thank you so much for all of you who tuned into this episode.
We can't wait to hear what Holy Spirit has in store for the next time.
Absolutely.
Take care.
Bye bye
